Hey Sue,
It will definitely take more time to get past the anxiety than it will for your fissure to heal. I have just came to a point (at 15 months post-op) where I set down to have a bm and am not thinking about a fissure. It will take awhile to overcome the fears ... :oops: I know this sounds crazy but some of us have actually discussed if we have a little PTS after dealing with the stupid thing for so long?!!
There may be days things are just a little sore or irritated and it will take a little while for things to get strong and feel as if it all never happened ,but it is all manageable and nothing like before the surgery!! There will be some random out of nowhere odd sensations (enough to freak you out) that will end in the blink of an eye. I've read where some of the others discussed it being nerves reconnecting/ meshing back together, etc. I'm not really sure what it is really ,but many of us experienced all the weird stuff and are healed!! As I was once told by another boardie- just roll with the flow and take it as it comes! Lol!
Your recovery sounds very much like mine was though. I knew at 3 days post-op I did the right thing! Even with all the swelling and bruising! Lol!
I couldn't even pass gas before surgery without pain and I was ecstatic when it would escape post-op. I seriously felt like pooping in my pants would be great compared to living with the fissure! Don't get me wrong that's not something I wanted and I thank God I'm not but the pain was horrible. I basically lost a year of my life and was finally seeing improvements. I like you can't believe I waited so long! I guess we live and learn...
Oh the Chocolate chip cookies... Yummy! I imagine they were delicious after all the suffering and sacrifices you have made. I woke up in the middle of the night at two weeks post-op, Sue and I think I counted about 15 wrappers the next morning of Reeses peanut butter cups!! :oops: I was half asleep, hadn't ate anything sweet in months and just said the he** with it!! LOL
Thank the Lord, it all came out just fine. Miralax is fantastic! I only wish I would have listened to all the other boardies before I had my surgery and made the switch when I was suffering with my fissure before surgery. It may have saved me a lot of pain... That's the thing about fissures though, we are in so much pain that the fear of things getting worse keeps us from doing things that will make them better- like surgery, Lol.
I am so freaking Happy for you! I can't wait to hear from you at two weeks post-op with things going as well as they are for you right now. You've done great, you've stayed calm and realized there's going to be some swelling and bruising when they operate on your butt- just like any other place on our body! I just think you have been so realistic with your healing and that makes all the difference. Enjoy not having those darn spasms!! Isn't sleep great after those are gone?!! I think that was the most enjoyable thing to me after surgery. It's so crazy how the simple things we take for granted mean so much when they are taken away.
Take care and keep posting! I know you are helping so many others who are on the fence and I do check in often and always check to see how you are even if I'm a little late posting, LOL :) Hope gives excellent advice too. You are in good hands when she gives advice!