I just really wanted to have a good birthday today. Told myslef even if I had pain I would try and enjoy my day and use my massage coupon my mom gave for Christmas. Instead it started in pain after a bm and the constant soreness I've been having for weeks. I eneded up spending the morning crying and screaming at God and soaking in the tub. I am a Christain but this has taken every last ounce of faith and endurance. I had no idea what lows a person can hit. Sorry, I just needed to vent even if no one responds. Will I ever have a nice bm again? Last birthday was much the same- I actually felt better a yeat ago I think.
:(