Go Galamat!
Fabulous reading!! Keep up all the good work.....
I am so happy for you to read this and fingers crossed, this just gets better & better for you until a time when you don't have to worry any more......
Yes, I can totally relate to that "pressure" sensation too and the fact that if you create enough distraction, you totally take your mind off it and feel SO much better. I'm a great believer in the mind-body connection and I do so believe that a healthy positive mind has a HUGE impact on physical recovery and certainly, the ability to bring yourself into a state where you can deal with things so much more easily and effortlessly until you reach a stage where things are a lot better and life is a lot easier and happier again. If it's any consolation, I too have been prone to some terrible bouts of depression and anxiety in my life-time and it also runs in the family. When I was going through the worst of this, I fell into such a black hole, I went back to my GP who strongly advised I start taking Sertraline again because I was in such a state. Well, no matter what people think of ADs they are there for a reason and they were my saviour in helping me pick myself back up and restore all the faith, strength and optimism I needed to fight this thing head on. I think you are completely wise in your decision to give yourself some time but look at how far you have come!!!
If you need to see your GP to discuss it all, do it, but my feeling is if your healing continues the way it is, you may not even need to do that because you will feel so empowered from the very fact you have been dealing with a huge challenge and yes, you are beating it!!
The spasms will eventually disappear as your healing gets better and better and you simply relax so much more, but you are completely correct in adopting a "get on with life" approach in the meantime. ...
Yes, the fear of a re-tear will always be there (with me too & probably forever to some extent and I think that probably speaks for all ex & current fissure sufferers ) but the further you progress, the stronger you get mentally, and don't forget although still delicate, the actual fissure area is also toughening up and strengthening too.
I think you are doing brilliantly! and don't ever stop those morning walks now - they seem to be doing you the world of good!!
Thanks so much for sharing - just keep up all the great stuff that is helping you, stay positive, relaxed and focused and no, absolutely never lose hope!!! ........