Butt blog Update: day 27
Today was another fantastic BM.
Bristol 6. Not much pushing. Still a little sensitive but nowhere near the early stages.
It's all down to diet. I'm being so good, I'm even surprising myself. No crisps is easy.
Although I am happy with the lack of pain and the thought of healing my fissures, I'm a little concerned about my BMs being anything other than a Bristol 6. Once it's healed down there is approx 8-10 weeks, how do you build up to larger stools? Has anyone got that far yet? I don't want my sphincterino to get tight and lazy!
WelshWorry x

Hay heres one, Baby wipes are great, I can debate so we can keep our pipes clean
Oh that was so bad...:roll: lol

Haha, that was so bad, it was... Kinda good.

Hi Welsh,
Great news your really doing so well :) 
Loving the humor  

The building up to larger stools is definitely a question. The problem is that let's say everything goes great and the fissure heals in 8 to 10 weeks. It's going to take far longer for the area to build up strength, and actually it will never be as strong as it was pre-fissure. so, what to do?
When the area has had a lot of time to heal (several months at least), you could continue on with the Bristol 6 stools but begin to do some massage of the anal muscles as well as some gentle dilation with rectal dilators or even just a finger. This way you are completely controlling any and all pressure on the area and helping the muscle to "exercise" and to remember how to relax without the stress associated with passing a BM. Over the ensuing months you could very slowly and gradually begin experimenting with stool consistency, (emphasis on slowly and gradually).
It's not an easy call, really. Having been dealing with fissures for so many years now I don't ever want to try to pass anything big.

Butt blog update: Day 28 - 4 week mark!
Today I woke up and pooped. Perfect poop. But unusually early for my usual 10am or 1pm poop.
It was a pain free/ blood free poop but it also made me late for work. Damn you!
Had another one at 12pm which fell out with no pain and no blood either. This is excellent and I'm starting to feel some normality finally.
Just need to keep up my diet. I've had 5 consecutive days of beautiful pooping. Fingers crossed I get another 5 days.
As for massбging my anal muscle - how does one do this Jr2? Anal dialation just sounds so horrific (but then again I'm had fissures for 4 years so what's a little bit more discomfort eh?) I won't be trying this any time soon though.
thank you all for your support and specialist knowledge in all areas of healing - you guys have really had an affect on my life and I really appreciate it
Come on 4 week healers! Let's get rid of these gateways to Hell for good! I cast thee back to Satan!!
Welsh4Weeks x
Edit: So I just went to the Doctors to ask for more Diltiazem and Movicol. Saw a random old Doctor who explained there was no difference with Movicol & Laxido. I explained once I'd take Movicol, I was in a good place but as soon as I switched to Laxido, I regressed a week with my progress. He then asked how many I was on and I replied 3. This meant he gave me loads of Movicol to start because I'd go through a box in 10 days. And it's on repeat!
I then asked for more Diltiazem as I was using a tube I'd been given by my CRS 3 weeks prior to my operation and I'm running low. As he was looking for it on his screen, he exclaimed "wow that's an expensive cream!" I asked how much it was. Ј96 it costs the NHS.
He then said "well I guess it's cheaper than surgery for the NHS".
I made sure he knew that I'd had 2 other creams AND surgery AND that "it's exactly what I pay my taxes for" since I've been suffering for 4 years an was willing to go private to get my life back.
He then read some info on fissures from Patient.com on his screen as I was explaining (instead of listening & sympathising) then printed it out and tried to give it to me, I then told him I'd already been give that and I'd been taking all my advice from an amazing forum online.
That showed him.
 

The dilator is only scary the first time you do it, and you start out very very small.
As for massage, it's a good thing to do now. Very easy. You don't even have to get close to the anal sphincter muscles at all. If you are taking baths you can do it in the bath. If not, just get a dollop of your favorite kind of soothing cream or coconut oil or whatever. There are muscles down there that encircle the sphincter muscles. Again, you don't even have to get close to the sphincter. Just gently massage those outer muscles in a circular motion. It will bring added relaxation and circulation to the area. Gentle massage of the perineum is also helpful. We tend to focus only on the sphincter when we have a fissure. Eventually as your healing progresses it is a good idea to expand the gentle massage internally to include the sphincter muscles.
relaxation and improved circulation may help prevent re-tears.

Butt Blog Update: Day 30
So the past 4 weeks have hit a few bumps in the road but ultimately have taught me a lot about myself and by god have I learnt real self control.
Yesterday I had a BM just after waking up, then another 12 hours later, both a bit more formed than the usual BS6. Slight itch after but I guess itching means healing right? Still happy with my progress though.
 
Unfortunately I have just ended it with my partner of 5 months because I didn't feel anything for him and whilst going through surgery and recovery, I pushed those thoughts deep down to try and concentrate on me and my healing. He was so supportive during the whole thing and I couldn't have asked for a more understanding boyfriend to go through it with me. It would've put a lot of stress on any relationship, especially with there being no intimacy for the last 2 months because my sex drive was non-existent.
:( 
It was such a hard decision to made, but once I made it, I felt a weight lifted because it was right for both of us. He deserves a lot more than what I can give him, as he gives so much. I've been so lucky to have him, but deep down I wouldn't have been happy so it was unfair to continue and my happiness is very important after the last 2 failed relationships.
I'm hoping that having done this right now won't impact my stress levels too much to change my routine because it's all going so well. I dreamt last night that I went and binged on food, not chewing it properly and I woke up in a panic. This is certainly a lifestyle change and it starting to show how worried I am about not living a careful life.
Thanks for your input JR2 - I guess once I've had a few more weeks like this and eventually go and talk through my option with the CRS in Sept, then we can decide the best step to being fissure free for the future, as much as this guy knows about how to fix it, it'll be interesting to see what his thoughts are on preventative measures.
I hope you 4 week LIS & Botox bums are doing well too.
 
I've also had an upgrade from Salt bather to Proctosphincteranalogist!
 
WelshDownButHealing x

 Dear Welsh. Keep your head up high,   the sun is shining and your the best, because.....

awwwwwwh our wee welsh!!! what a day you have had! i think you have done the right thing pet you have been very brave. thinking about you! :-) xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx