Self inflicted Two year fissure + hem embarrasse and ashamed

living in foreign country with a fissure, my story

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Self inflicted Two year fissure + hem embarrasse and ashamed

Postby oops » 24 Aug 2014, 10:55

Two years ago, I stuck something up in the area there and hurt myself (Yes, idiot). I had bled a lot after a BM. I have been examined 4 times since the incident. The first time, I went into a walk in clinic. I was too embarrassed to tell what happened. They prescribed me some ointment. I was supposed to apply it for a month. It didn't seem to do anything. I went back to the clinic and spilled the beans. But the doctor said he couldn't examine further into the anus. He said he didn't have the tools. So I went to the GP doctor which I was trying to avoid because I thought the clinic would be faster.

So I went to the GP doctor. I clammed up again. Too embarrassed to say what I did. The first doctor at the clinic said that it didn't matter how a fissure happened because it is a cut and would be treated the same regardless. But I'm thinking now maybe that is wrong? Anyways, the GP doc never asked me how I got it. I just told him "anal fissure" and he kind of shrugged his shoulders and went to get to the tools. The receptionist also never asked about the history of this. It's hard to bring this stuff up on your own. The GP used an anoscope. He saw some small tears, but he said he didn't think it was a real fissure because it didn't hurt when he put the instrument into the anus. At this time the majority of the fissure pain had subsided. So I'm feeling a lot better because I needed to fill out a physical form for my visa ( I was getting ready to leave the country) and needed to write on there if I suffered any serious injuries.
Fast forward 10 months. I'm out of the USA now. I ate some really spicy food and pooped green for three days straight. The fissure never felt too bad during this time, just some itchiness, no bleeding. But I did bleed a little bit when I pooped green after this really spicy meal. So I went to the hospital. I tried to explain my issues, that I was pooping green and then I mentioned I had a fissure because it seemed wise to mention it since they were probably going to go down there. Again, they don't ask me any history so I clam up again.

The doctor ended up giving me a sigmoidoscopy that same visit, probably more worried about the green bile poop I was experiencing. They never found anything except the small fissure which was actually two small tears. The doctor said they were not serious. And he said that I didn't need even need any ointment, although he said he could write a prescription if I wanted. At the time, I feel pretty much like today. I have virtually no pain, only some slight itchiness now and then and minor discomfort during some BM's. But overall basically nothing.

The last time I was at the hospital was early April. I had a hemorrhoid which I think I developed around last Christmas when I went back to visit home. I was also not serious according to the doctor.

So my problem now is I'm feeling paranoid about this because I never told the docs about what happened (except the first one who did not examine the inside because he said he didn't have the tools). I'm worried that it could be worse even though it has been looked at twice. These days, I have almost no pain, only some itchiness. I had some slimy discharge which I think was from the hemorrhoid. I get that once or twice a month (rough estimate). Some days I can't feel anything at all. I have been feeling neurotic about it lately. I have had this thing for a couple years now and wondering when it will officially be over. My main problem is itchiness, but it isn't everyday.

And my other concern is my visa. It's been looked at twice and both doctors said it wasn't serious. But I feel like because I didn't tell what happened, it could somehow change it.
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Re: Self inflicted Two year fissure + hem embarrasse and ash

Postby Savaici » 24 Aug 2014, 13:16

:wel: to our forum. Really, I would not worry about what you used to get the fissure, and also do not worry about that and your visa, or be ashamed of any of it. Having a fissure is so common and doctors have seen/heard it all before. It is usually the size of a paper cut on your finger. Also, a sigmoidoscopy would have told them all they need to know. Please, do not needlessly worry about this. You have come to the right place for support!! :smilyhug:

P.S In applying for a visa (and I have one for Permanent Residence) I would consider a fissure in this case to have as much significance as having a cold/flu. Nobody's business but yours.
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Re: Self inflicted Two year fissure + hem embarrasse and ash

Postby Scientist2516 » 24 Aug 2014, 13:29

Savaici is right, Oops.
People get fissures in many different ways, and there is no need to be embarrassed by it. A doctor doesn't care how you got it, unless it's something that could cause it to recur (like Crohn's Disease). A physical injury from something inserted is likely to heal very well, so please don't worry. It sounds as though you are not in pain, which is great!

Itchiness is annoying, of course. It's likely to be from your hemorrhoids, so make sure your diet has enough fibre (not too much), that your stools are soft, you never have to strain on the toilet. Drinking plenty of water helps to keep your stools soft, and be regular on the toilet so they don't dry out in your rectum.

If it gets worse, be seen by a colorectal surgeon. But truly, as far as your fissure, it sounds like it healed. And about your visa - do NOT worry. You didn't break any law, and your health is your own business. They need to know about infectious diseases I guess, but this is obviously not infectious.
Nifedipine/lidocaine, no help
Diltiazem, effective, but caused major rash
Nitroglycerine, effective.
Topical estrogen for final healing.
Gentle heat to bottom - pain relief, muscle relaxant
Kondremul mineral oil
Time - lots of time.
Status - Healed!
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Re: Self inflicted Two year fissure + hem embarrasse and ash

Postby hurtinend » 25 Aug 2014, 10:48

never never never be afraid to spill the beans to a doctor - THEY DONT CARE about stories of how and why - they are there to help us, we pay them, use them - trust me, the person in the next room has an embarrassing problem too.
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Re: Self inflicted Two year fissure + hem embarrasse and ash

Postby owmybum » 25 Aug 2014, 13:00

I can't add any more than the others, except to say.... It's your body.. You can insert what you like where you like... It's nobody's buisness but your own. I really hope we have all given you reassurance and you can realise you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.

OMB x
fissure after hem banding and tag removal feb 11
Pelvic floor therapy
Diltiazem
Botox June 13
Nitro
Internal flap July 14
EUA and polyps removed Nov 14
Diagnosed with neuropathy Jan 15
Diagnosed with HS EDS type 3 (causes poor wound healing )
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Re: Self inflicted Two year fissure + hem embarrasse and ash

Postby msimon » 25 Aug 2014, 15:26

I agree with what the others have said. There is nothing to be ashamed about as far as your own body goes. You can do whatever you like to it. The nature of the injury really doesn't matter and it's none of their business anyway. You just need to move forward and try to forget what got you here.
Dec '13 Fissure from anoscope
3 X internal sphincter botox
'08-'15 Botox for pelvic floor dysfunction
Nov '14 LIS/sentinel tag removal
Feb '15 Deroofing of recurrent infection from LIS
summer '15-healed but still ongoing muscle dysfunction/pain
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Re: Self inflicted Two year fissure + hem embarrasse and ash

Postby oops » 26 Aug 2014, 07:17

Scientist2516 wrote:Savaici is right, Oops.
People get fissures in many different ways, and there is no need to be embarrassed by it. A doctor doesn't care how you got it, unless it's something that could cause it to recur (like Crohn's Disease). A physical injury from something inserted is likely to heal very well, so please don't worry. It sounds as though you are not in pain, which is great!

Itchiness is annoying, of course. It's likely to be from your hemorrhoids, so make sure your diet has enough fibre (not too much), that your stools are soft, you never have to strain on the toilet. Drinking plenty of water helps to keep your stools soft, and be regular on the toilet so they don't dry out in your rectum.

If it gets worse, be seen by a colorectal surgeon. But truly, as far as your fissure, it sounds like it healed. And about your visa - do NOT worry. You didn't break any law, and your health is your own business. They need to know about infectious diseases I guess, but this is obviously not infectious.


Well, the doctor I saw overseas was a gastrointestinal doctor of some kind. I don't know if he was a colorectal surgeon but he had some specialty in that area. I'm not sure what the difference really is? He said he thought the tears were very small and not serious. But I didn't disclose any background info as to how it happened as I described in the post.
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Re: Self inflicted Two year fissure + hem embarrasse and ash

Postby Savaici » 26 Aug 2014, 12:29

As we have all said, do not worry about how you got it :smilyhug: Fissures can come from no reason whatsoever. No doctor has ever asked me how mine came about.

A colon and rectal surgeon is much the best person to see about this. A GI doc is for what is going on in your colon. A CRS concentrates on the anus!! Usually...

Your sexuality has nothing to do with a doctor. If you have something else that you feel you need to say about your health, please send a PM and I will give you my visa experiences. Otherwise, please try to stop worrying :smilyhug:
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Re: Self inflicted Two year fissure + hem embarrasse and ash

Postby Jackie5678 » 10 Sep 2014, 14:40

Hi! My case is similar to yours in that it was my own dumb fault but was not intentional. I ended up sitting on a bottle of hair product. No lie. Swear on my grave. It's aweful and I'm so embarrassed. How long did yours take to heal?
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