Like every good corrputed Julie Andrews, something I do to pass the time and amuse myself while wallowing in self-pity afer tough bms when I can't get my mind of my rear is sing to myself. Only I don't use the regular lyrics to the songs. Instead, I use ones that are fissure inspired, if you will. So I thought it might be fun to share some and see what others come up with.
first one:
based on the old Iced-T song "pimpin ain't easy," mine goes "Poopin ain't easy"
"Poopin' Ain't Easy"
Poopin ain't poopin ain't easy man [repeat 4X]
Poopin ain't poopin ain't easy man [repeat 3X]
Poopin ain't poopin ain't easy..
you Break yourself ouch!
Poopin ain't poopin ain't easy man [repeat 3X]
Poopin ain't poopin ain't - poop or die baby
Poopin ain't poopin ain't easy man [repeat 3X]
GRAB YO BrITCHES!
Poopin ain't poopin ain't easy man [repeat 3X]
BIG PooPIN JUMPIN OFF!
Poopin ain't poopin ain't easy man [repeat 5X]
GRAB YO BrITCHES!
:lolflag: hehehehehe....I've amused myself very much even just now....

I'll take your word for the hilarity, Chris! Maybe if I were more familiar with the original. Maybe that should be your morning mantra!!

The original is a super macho tough song. It was acutally in the movie Godfather, if I remember correctly. Bascially, I just exchanged pimpin for poopin and added the r in britches. it does make a rather good mantra.

Ice T must have sampled the original, then? I don't recall any rap in the Godfather... :)

I think the original was Big Daddy Kane.

This is too funny-I can't believe I missed this the first round!
I do wacky things like this all the time. I crack myself up though my husband things I am certifiable! I can see I am not alone!
Sidenote: I actually saw Ice-T at Lollapalooza and love him on SVU!

I'm glad I'm not the only one. I was beginning to feel like a bit of a loon.

You and me both, sista! High five!

i've got a fissure
(sung to madonna's like a virgin)
i got a rip in my ass
somehow i tore it up
didn't know how bad it was
until i took another pooh
i found blood, bright red blood
i felt glass, i felt razor blades too
you'll never know how it feels
yeah, just how it feels
so painful to pooh
it's called a fissure
hurts when i shit all the time
i've got a fissure
now i can't sit
or live my life

Yey! Happyass. I love it. This is hilarious! and catchy. I might just have to start singing it while sitting on the porcelain throne.