I have had my AL for over 3 years now. It started after the quite traumatic birth of my son. (Although there is mixed opinions that that's what caused it)
I am really struggling now, frustrated and feeling so down and alone. I have a very supportive family but they just don't understand how sore I get.
I have had great spells where it feels like it has healed but more lengthy spells with it playing up.
I have had the diltizem, laxatives and one set of botox, i was due for a second however fell pregnant again. During my pregnancy the AL didnt really cause a problem which i thought it would due to the extra pressure, and even after the birth Ii was fine,,, however 8 weeks down the line I feel like i am right back where i started. I am so tired of it all. I am terrified to go to the toilet because i know the 8hours after are going to be hell. I had a BM recently and have now been left with either a haemerroid or 'the end of the fissure' sticking out and i really dont know what to do.
I am currently waiting on my next appointment and my 2nd lot of botox but
Im now at the point that i cant see this thing ever healing.
Sorry for the rant but i am just so fed up with this now.
I

Hey mummyof3,

I am so sorry to hear of the agony and struggle you are dealing with. You have found the right place to vent and get some good advice. Many of us on this board share your frustration and your pain and our hearts go out to you....dealing with this condition is no cake walk...it is downright awful!!

Sounds like you have been dealing with this for quite some time. Have you had the opportunity to get checked out by a CRS yet....if not, I would recommend that be on top of your list to arrange for yourself. It is always a good idea to have someone poke around and look around up there to determine what is going on and help you decide next best steps (as horrible as it is to have someone up there...the piece of mind and the direction they will give you should be really helpful).

Also sounds like you know many of the tricks to deal with this -- are you taking a stool softener (not a strong laxative) -- if not, I would highly recommend Miralax/Restoralax. Also, to deal with the pain I have found it helpful to sit on a heating pad, take a sitz bath after each bowel movement, increase your water intake to at least 1 liter but try for closer to 2 liters a day. I would also highly recommend you look in to getting some of the diltiazem or nifedipine and start using it again.

As for the sentinel pile or hemmi hanging down...any idea what colour it is, does it bleed, does it get enlarged and/or hurt at specific times? The more info you provide with that issue the better advice you will get from others who have dealt with this specific issue.

Again -- welcome to the board, so glad you found us and so so so so sorry you are suffering. Until you have dealt with this you just dont know how bad it can be. You are not alone is being frustrated, scared, angry, tired, fed up and lost....we have all been there and totally understand where you are at. You will get better...take it one day at a time and know that each day you will apply more knowledge and understanding to your situation and you will overcome all of this.

Best - Canadabum

Hi Mummyof3

I can't add much more than Canadabum but you are not alone, it's good you are due for another appointment for another round of botox. Instead of measuring healing day by day I had to look at it month by month and be really strict with diet and fluids - are you keeping a food diary? I now take magnesium every day and it helps keep the stool soft and doesn't do any long term harm like dependency which laxatives can do.

Feel free to vent, rant and post away on here - we all know where you are coming from and understand.

FF x