Hello again!
Well, the good news is the week before my scheduled surgery (surgery was scheduled for last week), I seemed to finally heal through using diltiazem, cutting down on my fiber supplement (I was "blowing out" my system) and cutting out cheese. I was so happy, I had 2 pain/bleeding free weeks! It was amazing! My surgeon cancelled surgery and I was so happy.
Then this past weekend, I tried to get all my fiber but was on a trip for Easter and couldn't take baths and ate lots of binding food I had stayed away from over the last few weeks. Sure enough, Monday morning my BM was too large and my fissure is now back. It was SO disheartening!!!
I can't even explain how bummed I am now.
So I’m back to having the fissure but I have hope I can self-heal again. I will consider surgery again but probably not right now since I had healed before, plus i'm trying to get prgnant. I am going back on the diltiazem (until I am pregnant- it is a class C drug so when I am pregnant I will stop it) and will continue with my good eating and 2 baths a day.
Just wanted to update all the people who have been so supportive to me over the last few weeks. Thank you!!! I'll still be on here- thought my problem was solved but it is back.
Suzy

That is discouraging. I have had periods where I thought I was on the right track and then it opens up again and I feel like I am right back where I started.
But you will heal. It sounds like you have the right idea and just need to go back to what works and hopefully you will see improvement very soon. Having to baby a fissure can be such a chore. I feel like I can't deviate from my baths, cream and diet. It will be nice to not have to be so strict all the time but for now it is all I can do since I am not a good candidate for the surgery.
It is a good sign that you have two good weeks like that. I am sure you will be back to that soon. Is the fissure in the same spot? Has your doctor taken a look at things?
Lecia

Sorry to hear that..I have had that happen to. Mine was feeling better than a couple days ago it seemed to open up again on three sides. I am scheduled for next week and hope that will take care of my problem. Good luck to you hope it heals up!

It's amazing how the same "dramas" play out with different people who have AF. I thought my AF was healing and almost cancelled my surgery.
I think we all have to realize that two, or even three weeks, is really not long enough for any real healing to occur. After an LIS, we are told the fissure should heal in 6 - 8 weeks. The same should be true for non-surgery folks, also.
I can't remember, Suzy, how long you said you've suffered with AF. But I do think, and it's just my opinion, that once a person has had AF for more than 6-9 months, it's probably not going to heal on it's own unless conditions get perfect and stay that way.
Regardless, my heart goes out and I'm sending healing vibes your way!
Kim

Thanks so much to you all for sharing your experiences and giving such encouragement (and good health vibes!!)
An update of sorts: I talked to my dr's office today and just went ahead and scheduled surgery again. I wanted to get a date on the calendar because they have a long wait for bookings. Luckily there was a cancellation, so I am scheduled for the end of the month. I have a dr's appointment late next week (first I can get) to go in and see him.
Lecia, I think the fissure must be in the same spot, it just seems to keep re-opening up. I sympathize about the schedule, i just feel so bound to my special routine (baths, regimented -and no fun-diet, dependant on the diltiazem). It is quite frustrating.
Kim, I agree with you, after 6-9 months of the fissure coming back I think it is time to commit to surgery.
I have had my fissure on and off since last February, so over a year now. I has healed with diltiazem 4 times, then come back 3-6 weeks later each time. VERY frustrating! I think at this point, even if it starts to heal again, i will need to just go through with the surgery. However, i was in this EXACT situation last month and ended up cancelling surgery, upon the dr's advice, because i felt so much better. Just a bummer to be back to square one.
Slight monkey wrench, I had been trying for a pregnancy, so if i do find I am pregnant (wouldn't know for a week or so), then obviously i won't have surgery. However, i have decided that if I am not pregnant now, I will have surgery at the end of the month. I'm feeling confident about the surgery and so ready to "take care" of this once and for all. I'm exhausted by the game of trying to heal myself---plus the diltiazem works for me but then I have to keep going on it once i tear again. I think I just need the extra surgical help to heal myself.
I'm feeling hopeful and want to feel better soon. I feel so down when I start to hurt again, and it is nice to have a board where people can be there to share similar experiences!
Noelle- sounds like you and I have the same problem--- an AF that keeps re-occurring and now are finally turning to surgery for a permanent solution. Please keep us posted on your surgery experience and good luck to you!! I know how awful and hard mentally it can be
Thanks again to you all!
Suzanne

Does your CRS know that you are trying to get pregnant? One thing with pregnancy that you will have on your side is that you will have more blood flow to that area so it might help with healing if you are pregnant already. But of course you have to watch out for constipation.
What is your pain level like now? Do you get spasms?
Sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time, Noelle. I bet it makes surgery easier to face knowing that it will help you. You'll have to let us know how everything goes.
This all just sucks, doesn't it? I can go for a few days and think I am on the right track with healing and then like this morning have a toilet bowl full of blood. It makes me wonder if this is ever going to go away-so I can sympathize with all of you.
But we just have to keep our spirits up and that this too will pass. Prayers and hugs to you all!
Lecia

Thanks Lecia, very encourgaing to read your post! I do try and keep my spirits up which really helps!
I have stopped bleeding again and the pain has stopped again, but I am still getting discomfort during the day. I don't know if I have spasms- during the day I have discomfort, sometimes sharp pains and often itchiness. Maybe that is spasms?
I did talk with my Dr. about getting pregnant and when I had previously scheduled the surgery it was because we thought I should take care of this problem before getting pregnant. That is really interesting to think about the increased bloodflow aspect, thanks for that tip!
I think what is making me feel better now is being back on the diltiazem. I was on it 4 days and the pain went away, but I can tell the fissure is still there. Now i'm back to the same dilemma- try and self heal thogh use of diltiazem (which i have done a few times before), and then just try and be really careful for a while not to re-tear; or just do surgery. I'm worried about needing to go on diltiazem while pregnant- the oral version is a class c drug, although this is just a 2% topical i know you absurb a little into your system. I see my dr. next week, will keep you posted.
thank you again for your kind words! Hang in there as well, i know exactly what you mean about feeling you are on the right track and then worrying when you get off it!!
Suzy

I know what you mean Suzy-I can't really tell if the pain I have is a spasm-all I know is that it hurts. Like a burning, open wound. That is great that the diltiazem is helping you already.
I guess you will find out soon if you will be hearing the pitter patter of tiny feet so I guess for now it is out of your hands about what to do regarding the surgery. I was wondering if you could be on the cream since probably not that much would absorb in the bloodstream but since it is so close to the womb I don't know if that would make a difference. They may recommend that you stop for the first trimester at least.
I have been informally looking to hyperbaric treatment. They use it a lot for wound care so I wondered if that would be an option or not. It doesn't sound like a routine treatment for fissure but not completely unheard of either.
Keep us posted and glad you are doing better. I wonder how long we can stay on the cream and maybe even use it as a prevention for retear?
I am seeing my CRS next week for a recheck too.
Take Care,
Lecia

Thanks Lecia! I have a dr's appointment at the end of this week so I will know then what I am going to do. I do agree that I should probably stay on the medicine longer this time to help it heal fully. Also, i agree that probably not too diltiazem is absorbed so i may be able to use it while pregnant, but I am so cautious! I will just have to wait and see on a few things before i go forward with surgery - mostly what my dr says after examining me this week.
Thanks again!!
Suzy