by StarrySky » 13 Sep 2020, 13:26
Thought I would update this:
Still not doing well. Fissures are still there. I get blood sometimes, too. Pain is off and on. Bowel movements are sometimes painful, despite my soft stools.
Still feeling hopeless and depressed. My oncologist has absolutely no sympathy for me and did not want me to stop the Lupron, but I did. I was supposed to get another shot a week or so ago. Now I just have to wait for the chemicals to leave my body so my estrogen can come back. I am hoping and praying that that will help me.
I am thinking of switching oncologists. It seems like she has no patience for this issue and is not empathetic or really willing to help me much at all. When things are going her way, she's great. But if things get difficult, she distances herself and doesn't want to help. It's frustrating and I can't deal with it anymore.
I started seeing a therapist to work through these issues. It seems to be helping a bit, but I'm still frustrated at the lack of help I'm getting about this issue.
I am still taking Tamoxifen (alters estrogen in the body so it can't attach to breast cells and feed cancer), which I started last year. It seems like my problems started when I started taking that. I am afraid to stop it, though, since I am afraid of breast cancer coming back. Many online at certain breast cancer forum I frequent said I should take a break from it. If getting the Lupron out of my system doesn't help, then I will do that. I don't see my oncologist for 6 months to discuss that. I'm sure she will say no, but it's my body.
I'm waiting on referrals to another colon and rectal surgeon and a gastroenterologist. I'm not sure what else I can do. I'm stuck. Covid-19 has made the waits even worse for specialist referrals. The CRS at UCSF is not taking new patients due to Covid, so I was recommended someone up at UC Davis.
Someone online suggested I see a urogynecologist. I'm not sure what they could do, but it's worth a shot. Apparently they can treat fissures, too? I wasn't aware of that. If anyone has any idea how they could help, I would appreciate it.
I'm willing to do anything at this point. So tired of not healing and tired of dealing with pain every day and fearing the toilet.
I'm still taking Nifedipine, although I will have to switch back to Diltiazem ointment since my insurance will not cover the Nifedipine and it's $100 a tube, which I cannot afford. It does the same thing, so I am switching back. It's better than doing nothing.
Wish I had better news to report, but that's where I'm at.
I hope everyone is doing well and healing. I hope I can get there eventually.
Take care.