Yesterday I had a difficult time with bm. Consequence - re-tear. Four years ago I had 2 fissurectomies and a LIS which didn’t work. I have since had Botox twice which the process of doing gave me more fissures. By the time the fissures began to heal 3 months later the Botox had worn off. Not much point going through that again. I take Movicol everyday. So what to do now?
Since yesterday, which I spent mostly with my head in my hands, I have decided that there is no treatment that will actually help me other than letting time and nature do it’s thing. There is also nothing I can do to prevent this either even though my life is geared around doing just that.
In the meantime I am trying to come to terms with this affliction which I believe I have suffered with most of my life. Need to just accept it. This is my life and this is my affliction. I have to learn to accept it not fight it, get on with my life, don’t lie around waiting to be cured, healed or “normal”. Not sure I know how to do this but don’t feel there is much option. Am I resigned, despondent or just depressed? I honestly don’t know what to do or think anymore. Can anyone relate?

Hi I've had my fissure for 4.5 it does feel like you have to live with it sometimes an can be very depressing, are you seeing a specialist or crs about your options? Also just personally I read a book by Louise hay called you can heal your life it mite help you to heal some stuff on the inside I found it really helped me sort out some of my baggage so I wasn't weighed down by past stuff an a current fissure it mite help you it mite not but worth a try. I've only had Botox but I'm to scared right now to have lis because every surgeon or doctor I speak to seems to think it's a very dodgy last resort an only if you can't live with it anymore an it's recking your life which is hard for me to gauge because what does that mean to them? To me I can't plan trips away with family or friends or book anything in advance it feels like I'm passing Razer blades but I've lived through it for this long does that mean its not bad enough to be recking or stoping my life there for not in the lis catagory to them? Since they think it's such a last resort an freak me out about it like it's very invasive

Lube

Lube up the rear end with KY Gel before bm, it helps.

I've been on and off this board for 10 years....have not had surgery or Botox but can relate to the despair you may feel.

This fissure thing is chronic for some - look into pain clinics in your area. That's my next step.

Thank you missy moo and hurtinend for your replies and advice. It is such a relief to be able to hear from like minded people who completely get it. I think my family have got a bit tired of it all now so I try not to mention it. I think I will get hold of a copy of the book you recommend missy moo. My head is needing attention as much as my btm! I haven’t used the lube you recommend hurtinend but will as my skin is super sensitive and that stuff should be ok being water based. Good thinking! I’m usually such a positive person except where my issues are concerned. Think I have just lost my way a bit recently.

Please please don't lose hope if I was you I would be working very closely with a specialist an I've heard of people getting lis twice if you do I would most certainly get it done by someone else just to make sure the first one doesn't get it wrong again maybe he was just too reserved with the lis? There are still options for you. Where do you live? I'm in NZ 29years old with two kids 1year an 4years life can be challenging at time I've been through my fear share it really helps to compare lives in a good way to know others around the world in the same settings as you also have this issue if you know what I mean : )

not 4 life
I suffered 4 years and was fixed follow these steps
- Go for magnetic resonance - this is a must so doctor can see exactly whats happening - fissure fistula abcess or combitation
- find best sergeant possible - not any - the best money can by - read good comments for him before you choose - find ppl in your area who suffered from the same and ask them whos the best if needed

Hugs - you're definitely not alone in your feelings of desolation and hopelessness. I've been dealing with this for 4 years. I'll never forget a very bad day in 2014 for me where I almost ended it because of my pain and lack of hope. I, too, had LIS 4 years ago. I just had my 2nd. My CRS explained that they try to make as conservative a cut as possible to avoid incontinence. Unfortunately, some of us are just really tight and it isn't enough. If you like and trust your original CRS, and I would highly recommend going back to them if you need another LIS. I felt confident with mine, and appreciated that she knew exactly where she cut last time and how much.