3 months, 2 days: So I had a bm this morning, and with out thinking I 'pushed' it out. I felt a little sting..... Thought it might have been just in my head, but I just had another bm then, and it stung - but no blood. From not having any pain at all in 2.5 months, I'm extremely worried that it's coming back.

The only thing that has been different is the use of toilet paper instead of wipes... But that shouldn't really make me tear again...

The Botox has well and truly worn off by now, and I felt completely healed and safe until this morning. I'm hoping this little sting won't eventuate into anything more... But it's so discouraging. I'll start on the Rectogesic again as soon as I hop out of this bath!

So worrying!!!

Try not to worry! Just eat carefully today and keep everything crossed. Hope it's OK for you!

3 months, 8 days: I have now entered the bleeding stage...My stools have been perfect, GTN applied twice daily, however the fissure seems to be getting worse each day.

I have an appointment with my CRS mid April. Not sure whether I'll need another dose of Botox or start thinking about going down the LIS path. I guess I'll soon find out.

Pain is 3/10 on bm - no burning - yet..

So sorry your pain is back. They are evil these damn fissures! I'm over a month on from my botox and I never had any relief from it. So disappointing. Am probably going to have to go for LIS now, which is a pretty scary thought. But so is living the rest of my life like this!
Good luck to you and healing vibes.

3 months 2 weeks: Ok, things have started to get back on track after that setback!

I only had the one day of bleeding, and the pain has now dropped to 1/10 the last couple of days - however my stools have been very small which def helps. It doesn't feel like ripping, just slight scraping. The anxiety to go to the bathroom is back in full force, obviously.

I'll continue using the Rectogesic for 8 weeks again to make sure I nip this little re tear in the bud. My goal was to come off the movicol in June but this might be a bit unrealistic now. Ugh.

I'll keep my CRS appt for now, but hopefully I'll cancel it if all goes week over the next week - just to save myself a very expensive conversation.

xx

3 Months 3.5 weeks: pain has completely gone since I last posted, I don't feel as healed as I was before the set back, but I feel somewhat normal down there again. I'm still afraid of a retear each bm though.

I canceled my CRS appt as I healed really quickly, however I'm still using Rectogesic until I'm more confident that I won't have another retear. And of course I'm still having my friend movicol.

So I'm hoping I'm all back to normal and continuing along my path of full recovery. :)

4 months 3 weeks: Since my last post with the set back I had, there have been no further issues, however this morning I felt a tiny pinch of pain

Again like last time, there have been no changes to my daily routine to bring it on, so I have no idea why it's trying to come back.

I'm away from home for 2 months with uni, so I'm hoping it doesn't get any worse! But again, I'll start Rectogesic and hope it passes quickly!

So I'm beginning to think that the little bits of pain I had the other day arnt actually set backs, rather they are just the scar tissue stretching a bit to much..

I think this might be the new normal for me now, and I think I'm ok with that!

This story cheers me up!

6 months and 3 weeks: Wow 6 months!! That went quick! Since my last post I have had one more 2-3 days of pain - like 2/10, then it heals itself again. I'm pretty happy with that. I'm still taking movicol daily, however tomorrow is the day I am going to start taking 1/2 a sachet, and see how I go.

I'm still very much aware of my butt and take my time each time I go and pray that it doesn't over stretch.. Considering I have only had probably 4 set backs that have lasted only couple of days the past 6 months I would say that the Botox has been a success. However things could easily change when I start reducing the Movicol.

I honestly feel like it's the scar tissue opening up and hurting if it stretches too much during a bm, so I feel like weening off the movicol will do some damage but I never planned to be on it long term.

Well, I'll see how my butt goes and keep my dairy updated!

xx