Hi all-
I am up in the middle of the night, so that can't be good, right?
Day 2 (yesterday) after botox was all still good- I had it on a day when things were already finally looking up a little. Then today, Day 3 started with an unpleasant "bang". I woke up at 6 AM and had an unpleasant bowel movement that caused some bleeding and pain. This shook me up and rattled my confidence. However, I think my expectations were not in reality, since from what I understand, the botox can take some time to start helping. Went to acupuncture and that helped my outlook on life, if nothing else! Tried to be good with water and food. Right before bed, I had a soft bowel movement that was pretty painful. I'm not sure if the pain is a little bit of bruised feeling from the shot- it feels somewhat different than the typical pain.
It was a strange day in general, as we had an appointment with a financial advisor who wanted to talk to us about life insurance. Because we were starting an underwriting process for that, he was filling out the paper work and asking us questions. One of the questions was who our primary care Dr. was and we answered that. The next question was, when was the last time you saw a Dr.?- I asked, do you mean our primary care guy or any Dr. and he said "any Dr.". To which, I replied, well- I know that for sure because it was Tuesday. Then he asks (he and his insurance friend)- do you mind if I ask what that appointment was for?- So I'm sitting there thinking, I can't believe this has come up and I'm in this situation and of course I said, well actually I'd rather not say. As you all know, it would be a little hard to explain- well you see I had botox in my anus.
I was so embarrased and yet thought it was a strange, kind of cosmic joke trying to tell me to lighten up.
Bambi

The bruised feeling sounds about right for Botox. I had that for a bit at the injection sites. Maybe for like a week or week and a half, actually. It should pass with time, and I'd say if the Botox was effective you should start noticing within the next 1.5 to 2 weeks from now. Fingers crossed!

So I should try and calm down and not expect so much only on Day 4? I am feeling very discouraged in general- I think my advice for newbies would be to not wait as long as I did before doing something like Botox or surgery. I regret all the time I spent convinced I could cure myself with a million different things, all the while the thing is getting so entrenched! So thank you NG- I will try to "chill".
Bambi

Hey Bambi,
Day 4 is still way early yup :) Hang on a bit and I'm sure you'll see a difference soon.
BTW I changed your name for you as we discussed. Hopefully you're still able to login okay.

Thanks NG! I just logged on- no problems. I really appreciate it. And I'm concentrating on hanging in there. Started a journal today for my own sanity and because I realize I lose perspective on what happened when. Thanks again!

Hi Bambi!
I hope things start feeling better soon! I myself have been thinking about Botox, but am also very scared! How was the procedure itself?

Hi fissureflghter-
The procedure was really pretty easy for me and I'm definitely a chicken! He did it at the outpatient surgery center because of insurance reasons, but he had said otherwise it could be done at the office. So basically I had no prep, could have driven myself in theory and he said I could just go back to work after. i'm very fortunate to be retired, so I didn't have to do that. I self-medicated myself with an Ativan my husband uses when he flies. NG had said he thought that might be overkill- I think it helped me to be calmer.
The Doc had me just lie down on the exam table and pull my knees up. He did two injections- the first one caught me a bit off guard because it was more of a slight "punch" than I was expecting. It hurt, but what I would consider a minor hurt compared to what we have all been going through. Then when he did the other side, I could feel a slight stick and I felt a little sting when the medicine went in. I had some packing he put there that I didn't realize I had until I came home. That was just mainly on the outside. I didn''t have any bleeding from the procedure and that afternoon I had slight soreness , but nothing bad. Since then, as you have probably seen, my course has still been very up and down but I am hopeful. If I were doing it again, I wouldn't waste much time worrying about it- I go to acupuncture and sometimes those needles sting more when they do points on your feet or somewhere like that. And I would do it sooner than I did, just to get the ball rolling. I have had the fissure since March and am pretty much at the end of my emotional rope. It is not bad in my opinion and if it may help, it is certainly worth it. I don't know if it has totally "kicked in" in terms of relaxing the muscle- I still have had pain and bleeding- but I also have had no difference in my control of gas or stool and I was very worried about that. A GI Dr who did my colonoscopy in the summer and said that some people do botox and he guessed that was something you could consider but he would never do it because you might end up wearing a diaper for 4 months. My CRS was shocked that he said that and claims he has never had anyone have difficulty afterwards. Hope that helps. I'm happy to answer any questions.

Hi Bambi!
Thanks so much for the detailed info! :) I have been reading some of your posts, and I am rooting for you, and that this Botox will help you!
I am at about the same place on my emotional rope as well. Yesterday I had the most excruciating bm, as my 10mth old son climbed our entire flight of stairs for the first time.. And I missed it because I was having a sitz bath :( Then, I was unable to take him to his swimming lesson afterwards because the pain lasted thru until this morning. I want my life back, end of story!
I hope you find some relief soon, so you can also get on with your life, and enjoy it again! :)
I might consider the Botox before I go for the surgery now after reading that its not the horrible traumatic experience I have been brewing up in my head, and as you put it, compared to what we deal with, it doesn't seem quite so awful. I will mention it to my surgeon when I see her next, and see what she says!
Please keep me posted on your recovery, and the progress you make! :)