I know the holidays can be hard. So glad to hear you are seeing a therapist lady. Having one of those helped me. Hope your spirits rise up soon. :}

booty_call wrote:I know the holidays can be hard. So glad to hear you are seeing a therapist lady. Having one of those helped me. Hope your spirits rise up soon. :}

I just need to have less painful BM to prove that things are healing
and that there is some hope to get my life back and do not end up with poo bag.....


each day I am going through memories of the past - what I had and how I did not value the most precious things in life
and how my life ended in the most scariest scenario I wouldn't imagine in a million years....
this is so scary and dark and sooooooo HEAVY to carry each day ...



and I am scared of each next BM - its like going into huge inhuman torture that I have to relive till I die
and how come - that to be alive its more scary than being death?????????'

I understand the dread of the next BM. That was my life for so many months.

Sounds like the physical and emotional are all mixed up. Are you trying to manage this all yourself? Do you have anybody helping you besides the therapy lady? Doctors?

One of my main lessons from my fissure experience is that sometimes I need help.

booty_call wrote:I understand the dread of the next BM. That was my life for so many months.

Sounds like the physical and emotional are all mixed up. Are you trying to manage this all yourself? Do you have anybody helping you besides the therapy lady? Doctors?

One of my main lessons from my fissure experience is that sometimes I need help.

i ve seen twice within 2 months my GP and he did not take seriously my anal stenosis fear nor looked seriously at pictures of massive scar tissues formations and prolapsing on each BM and impossible to fit finger inside...
all his concern was to place me on antidepressants.....

vasilisa wrote:

booty_call wrote:I understand the dread of the next BM. That was my life for so many months.

Sounds like the physical and emotional are all mixed up. Are you trying to manage this all yourself? Do you have anybody helping you besides the therapy lady? Doctors?

One of my main lessons from my fissure experience is that sometimes I need help.

i ve seen twice within 2 months my GP and he did not take seriously my anal stenosis fear nor looked seriously at pictures of massive scar tissues formations and prolapsing on each BM and impossible to fit finger inside...
all his concern was to place me on antidepressants.....

Probably stating the obvious but your BM needs to be bulky and soft. If you don't relax when having a BM you will never heal. Think back to when you were young and having a BM was an afterthought. You need to get back to that mindset. Any anxiety and tension are the enemy of a fissure healing. And taking stool softeners is a bad idea. It will make your stool too soft and loose. Your sphincter needs BIG BULKY stools to work properly. Otherwise it will get tighter and tighter. Then you will have to strain to have a BM. That can lead to pelvic floor muscle weakness, bladder dysfunction, a hernia and even a rectal prolapse.

You need to RELAX. Calm BMs. Yes, you literally may need to potty train yourself again. You are so messed up just thinking about what could happen that you unlearned how you should be going naturally. Relax. Breathe. Relax. Be calm. Take it slow. Let nature take it's course. You do not need stool softeners. Maybe use some petrolium jelly in your rectum to give yourself a little assistance. But that is it. Nothing else but calm thoughts and relax. Make your bathroom a spa if you have to. Anything to get you to not dread a BM. I am telling you it's mostly mental.

Thank you RICH for your reply!!!!
I am not taking laxatives and letting formed stools to pass through my anus that has multiple fissures

yes I am doing potty routine with MOO sound and relaxing, shoulder chin, back, praying and being as calm as I can....
During the day if I catch myself clenching my anus- I do deep breathing ....

I have a huge hem and multiple fissures created ring of anal mass that is protruding like a Cone tube on each BM- and left side of scar tissue gets micro tears on each BM visible afterwards .... I started yesterday 2 finger support on that area to redirect stools towards not painful side and it seems that its kinda working but is very challenging to apply right pressure so those micro tears wont form after each BM....


I do not know if I will survive all this and do you think that multiple fissures can heal and those scar tissue will not cause anal stenosis... thank you for any input







Probably stating the obvious but your BM needs to be bulky and soft. If you don't relax when having a BM you will never heal. Think back to when you were young and having a BM was an afterthought. You need to get back to that mindset. Any anxiety and tension are the enemy of a fissure healing. And taking stool softeners is a bad idea. It will make your stool too soft and loose. Your sphincter needs BIG BULKY stools to work properly. Otherwise it will get tighter and tighter. Then you will have to strain to have a BM. That can lead to pelvic floor muscle weakness, bladder dysfunction, a hernia and even a rectal prolapse.

You need to RELAX. Calm BMs. Yes, you literally may need to potty train yourself again. You are so messed up just thinking about what could happen that you unlearned how you should be going naturally. Relax. Breathe. Relax. Be calm. Take it slow. Let nature take it's course. You do not need stool softeners. Maybe use some petrolium jelly in your rectum to give yourself a little assistance. But that is it. Nothing else but calm thoughts and relax. Make your bathroom a spa if you have to. Anything to get you to not dread a BM. I am telling you it's mostly mental.[/quote]

vasilisa wrote:Thank you RICH for your reply.
I do not know if I will survive all this and do you think that multiple fissures can heal and those scar tissue will not cause anal stenosis... thank you for any input

Can’t you get a surgery like many of us did? I had surgery and everything has been normal ever since.

Rich44 wrote:

vasilisa wrote:Thank you RICH for your reply.
I do not know if I will survive all this and do you think that multiple fissures can heal and those scar tissue will not cause anal stenosis... thank you for any input

Can’t you get a surgery like many of us did? I had surgery and everything has been normal ever since.

I cant do this to myself- its beyond barbaric what they do ... each intervention will create more scar tissue and there are risks of fissures, abcesses, fistulas and even ending with anal cancer ( anal cancer survivors that shared their stories)....
I wanna give my body a chance to recover...naturally ...after medical injury ....