Stressed about my stress

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Stressed about my stress

Postby Bambi » 27 Apr 2011, 14:19

So the title pretty much says it I think. Some of you have seen my posts from several weeks ago about my husband having a recurrence of his bladder cancer after 9 years of it being gone, but always lurking. You have to be very vigilant with bladder cancer and have frequent checks. During the time when I was trying to decide about LIS and was pretty preoccupied by my own a--, he started having occasional burning with urination. Long story short, he had surgery a week and a half ago to remove and biopsy the suspicious areas and to have a chemo agent instilled. We were still hopeful it would be the superficial, low grade type of tumors that are not too scary, but on Monday at the follow-up, we learned that several areas of his bladder that looked normal came back as positive for carcinoma in situ, which can be aggressive. As his Dr. put it, combined with his grade 3 tumor that was removed, this is "very worrisome". Since Monday, I have run through a million emotions. Monday we were in shock. Yesterday I was up at 4 and have found a great Dr. locally and we have a second opinion set up for Monday at the local cancer hospital. We also know we can fly down to Houston to MD Anderson and it is on our insurance. I haven't been on as much here lately and feel badly not to be offering the support to those who just had surgery. I hope you are all doing great! Things have been better for my physically the last few days. I have been taking acidophulus and finally have stopped having so many loose stools. Today I had a slightly firm one to start the day and then went again a while ago and it was a little irritated feeling. I feel like my anxiety level is so high and I can't even be realistic about my own body right now. I am just trying to hang in there, drinking extra water, went to Curves to do Zumba, eating well, etc...I had my 6 month dental cleaning yesterday and the hygienist was very surprised that I had little "buildup" but my gums were bleeding more than they should have. She asked me if I had been under a lot of stress?? So stress can cause inflammation of tissues like your gums? How am I going to get a handle on the stress in my body right now so it doesn't turn on itself and make my fissure come back? I need to be strong for my wonderful guy right now! Trying not to panic, but panic comes easily to me...
Bambi :(
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Re: Stressed about my stress

Postby Deleted User 579 » 27 Apr 2011, 14:51

Bambi, I am so very sorry. Image
I was so hoping that the tumors were superficial. I can't imagine the emotional rollercoaster you have been riding. There is no greater stress than what you are going through right now, so it definitely makes sense that your body is a bit out of whack. That said, I doubt very seriously that your fissure will return. The most significant original condition that caused it is not present now - your butt is looser and less likely to tear. I really think you should take that worry off the table, since it's so unlikely. I know that not worrying is way easier said than done. But if it makes you feel any better, I'll tell you that I've had dentists ask me if I'm stressed out because my gums were bleeding since I was in my early twenties - way before I got my fissure. Those things are not connected.
Just continue taking care of yourself as you have been because you are still healing ... and don't forget that you are healing. I've read all your posts from the beginning and have seen the evidence that you are actually getting better, bit by bit. Stress can delay healing and can make it seem like you are not healing, but your really are.
I'm so glad you found a good local doctor and that you have options for good medical treatment. I have had family and close friends with cancer and so I think I have a bit of an idea of the struggle you are facing - words are not sufficient. All I can say is I feel for you and you and your husband are in my prayers. Image
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Re: Stressed about my stress

Postby Bambi » 27 Apr 2011, 15:32

Thank you hopetoheal for giving me hope. You are so kind. I know this really isn't the part of the forum to voice all this. In the future, I'll post in the off topic section about his updates. But thank you so much for the good perspective about my fissure. I know you are right and I really have seen some nice changes even over this week. Today is more stressful than yesterday I think because we still have not told our adult daughter (23). This is her last week of classes in her graduate program and she was already overwhelmed by everything, particularly a presentation she is giving as we speak. We plan to call her when we know she has arrived home later and her husband is there to let her in on what is happening.
Basically, the Dr. Monday said that he will need to come in weekly for 6 weeks to have BCG instilled. BCG is a chemo like agent that has some tuberculosis relation. After the 6 weeks is over, she wants to wait 3 months to see what this has accomplished. If things have not changed much then in late September, she would recommend removal of his bladder. Not words anyone ever wants to hear, but I think
particularly difficult for a man. There are different options for reconstruction, all with pros and cons. None are like having your real bladder and require some time and work to get used to of course.
Because of this board, I went on a search for a similar board for bladder cancer several weeks ago. It is because of those great people (like you great people!) that we found out the go to person in our area. We are lucky she can see him Monday. Our plan is that if she agrees with our local Drs treatment plan and the staging of everything, he will just go ahead with one of them to do that. But if she should recommend removing his bladder now, for example, because she thinks things are more progressed or too dangerous to wait, we will probably fly down to Houston and go to MD Anderson for a third opinion. I grew up near there and on the bladder cancer board it comes up over and over as one of the places to go. My sister has talked to several people in the last few days and already has some people for my husband to talk to if it comes to that and we know of at least 1 great Dr. there that has treated several people our parents knew or we know from childhood. It is a small world sometimes. Anyway- like I said, in the future I'll post in the off topic. Thanks to you all for the support and I will try to not panic about my own healing. I have a sense that if I can avoid letting my body get too crazy in the next couple of weeks I will really turn a corner. Today was the day we were supposed to meet my sister and brother-in-law in Las Vegas for a getaway and I had to contact our home exchange guy in Miami as the treatments begin the day before we were to leave for there. I do think I am learning a hard lesson through the anal fissure wars and now the bladder cancer wars that you really have to still fight to have joy and fun in your life and to work on that every day. I am focused on that right now for my husband and since our travel plans (we were looking at finally going to Italy in September but probably that is not going to happen now either) all got messed up we will probably grab our chances when they come up to go do things as he feels good enough. He has a very sympathetic one in me as I certainly know what it is like to feel insecure about bathroom matters!
Thanks for listening
Bambi
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Re: Stressed about my stress

Postby Deleted User 579 » 27 Apr 2011, 16:04

Bambi, I am so glad that you were able to find a forum with great people to offer the support you need. We are here for you too - anytime, of course. But it does help to talk to people with practical advice and information and experience with bladder cancer. I'm so glad that you have such a great network that can help you get in touch with good doctors and medical facilities. That makes such a difference. I know it's going to be tough breaking this news to your daughter. But she sounds like an absolutely terrific young woman - and her husband sounds like a great guy, so it will be good that you will be able to support each other.
I think you are right that you will be turning a corner very soon with your own health. I can see the trend, and if you already feel it yourself, you are probably right. You are also right about illness putting a lot of things into perspective - namely, how important it is to fight like hell to keep the joy and laughter in your life.
Please do let us know how you are doing - I'll be checking off-topic regularly and praying for your family. Image
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Re: Stressed about my stress

Postby Elphie » 27 Apr 2011, 17:49

think hope said it all, Bambi but know we r all behind you I will pray for your husband as well. I know you can get through this, it will be hard but, as you know, women are always surprised to find out just how much they can handle. Stay strong and positive and dig in your heels for the fight!
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Re: Stressed about my stress

Postby cherylk » 27 Apr 2011, 18:05

Bambi,
I'll share all of this with Dwight. We will both pray for strength for you and your husband as you try to decide on his treatment. Image
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Re: Stressed about my stress

Postby alpinestrawberry » 27 Apr 2011, 20:23

Oh Bambi, I know this isn't what you hoped to hear from the biopsy results. I am so sorry you and your husband have to deal with this. Image It does sound like you have some great options for finding treatment, and if it comes to removal of his bladder...at least that's an option. I know I'd feel terrified if it were me or my loved one going through this right now. Please feel free to vent and update us here anytime!
I am sorry about your trips too, but I pray that you'll get back to a place in your life where everyone is well again.
I think once when I was stuck in a doctor's office, I read an article about Keith Richard's wife, who had bladder cancer. She went through the removal and reconstruction and now she looks beautiful and healthy. Doctors are amazing people, and I'll be praying that you find just the right one for your husband.
Image
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Re: Stressed about my stress

Postby ss616 » 27 Apr 2011, 20:50

Bambi - god speed to health to you and your husband. You will overcome and be happy. Have hope and courage.
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