I don't know where to start. My thrush has come back ten times worse than before, and I have just been to the loo and have extreme knife stabbing pain in a totally different place to where my fissure has been identified. It feels like it's on the outside but you cannot see anything. I am now worried I have 2 fissures, one new one which has torn open this morning. I have 16 days to wait until my NHS appointment and it feels like an eternity, that is only a follow up so would have to wait for more treatment. I cannot stop crying, and wish this would all go away. :( After 5 months I can't take anymore, and go to bed wishing I won't wake up in the morning. I'm so sorry to write this, but I don't know what else to do. I am sobbing with the pain, and my Mum wants to take me to hospital, but it's bank holiday and they won't do anything anyway. I didn't think it was possible to feel any lower than I have been but it turns out I can feel even worse.

Sue, 5 months ago I was like you and I didn't know what was wrong with me? I went in the end to casualty and was admitted to a surgical assessment ward. That is where I met my 1st crs. They took me to theatre the next day and did the sigmoidoscopy. I was grateful at the time even though 5 months on I am now waiting for colonoscopy? and then botox. If you can't manage the pain and you sound desperate, then now is the time to get yourself to A&E. Be strong with them, as you only see the house docs first in assessment but Sue, tell them you demand to be seen by crs in the SAU (surgical assessment Unit). God bless and don't be fobbed off!

sue, i really really know how you are feeling. not a day goes past when i just wish that i could wake up and not have pain in my anal region. sometimes i cry half the day because the doctors take so long to get in to see in this area. i just wish i could be normal again and not have to deal with this problem. i am just glad for other people on this forum to talk to..

Aww Sue,
I'm so sorry you are having a horrible day. The stabbing pain is the worst It brings back so many awful memories for me. I remember feeling the same way. I just wanted to die. Please know that you aren't alone and this will pass I know two weeks is an eternity when we're in pain. I remember it all too well.
I never could see my fissure, only my CRS saw it. The pain just seemed to be everywhere and I couldn't tell where it was. You may not have two fissures. One can feel like a million with all the nerves in that area.
I wish I could advise you better. Normally I would say take as many warm baths as possible to help with the darn spasms, but with the thrush... Have you tried a heating pad or something of that nature to help with your spasms?
I am from the US, wish I could help more with advice on getting seen quicker. I had to wait weeks for appointments and it was horrible. It's hard to fight when you are in so much pain. I said things to my CRS's office that would have never come out of my mouth on a normal day. Be aggressive as you can and make them aware of the pain you are in.

Hang in there..
You'll get through it..
Been there..believe me..not wanting to wake up for years.
Please look into seeing if you are magnesium deficient.
And also see if you have a food allergy such as Gluten Intolerance.
For me personally I stopped eating gluten and started absorbing Magnesium and my 5 years of hell went away..
Yes.. 5 years...

I was the same Sue - laying screaming in agony with spasms and telling my hubby I wanted to die! It's unbelievably horrible.
Have you tried valium? Or someone mentioned codeine is good for the spasms (but be careful with constipation with that.)
I had a hot water bottle under my bum for the whole time - it does help!
Hang in there, you will get better!

Thank you everyone, think it was just a bit of a shock. Haven't had pain like that for a few weeks, and stupidly thought things were getting better. I'm getting pain in the gynae area I had problems with too which is bothering me, the pain I had with that was worse than a fissure at its worst (is it possible?!). The thrush isn't helping either to be honest, after fighting that for 5 months this morning I have discovered my skin has cracked its so bad. My doc just says it will go eventually, that doesn't really cut it anymore. I've had a bit of a reaction to codeine before Val, do take co-codamol on the odd occasion but that then means I don't go to the loo for a few days (even just one tablet). I did relent and had a bath, first bath for about 2 months because of the thrush! Think I'm just worrying as meant to go back to work on Thursday and don't really think thats an option, really scared of losing my job now too as been off for so long. Thank you again for your support, it really helps just reading your messages, makes me feel less alone

I never took codeine - just remembered someone else saying it was good! I did take valium, which does help, and also helps with keeping calm, which is just as important as stress really makes things worse!
I always thought that the spasms felt like being in labour - rather like extremely bad period pains? And the whole underneath hurts, so it might not be gynea pain, just fissure pain.
Are you feeling a bit better now?

I don't know what it feels like to be in labour! But I do have pains like period pains again, although I have today had in between bleeding. Have told my doc before about this as have had it for a few months but she seems unconcerned so I'm not thinking about that. I know the pressure and pulling underneath is now related to the fissure which is a positive, less to worry about. Have decided not to stress about work and focus on myself and getting better. I have been stressed again yesterday so that has probably contributed to it. Have sat and talked things through with my parents, am going to my appointment on 13th and if no joy they are paying to help me get botox to see if it works. I am feeling a bit better, it has calmed down some (and so have I!)although still can't sit for long at all. Sort of semi-lying on my sofa on a pillow again! Thank you Val, you are a star

I'm truly not saying this to worry you - you have enough to worry about, and I obviously dont know anything about your gynae history, but when I was 19 I was bleeding between periods and the docs didn't take me seriously. I eventually had a smear test and had CIN111. It had got to that stage because they dismissed me for a year. My motto - if you believe and feel that there is something wrong, follow your instincts, and demand to be tested. It's your body, and it's your life, and you deserve to be taken seriously and be treated for whatever is wrong.
I'm glad you're feeling a bit better! That's great your parents will pay for you, at least there is an end in sight, of this pain.