Ah, The Burn... Hurts So Good

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Re: Ah, The Burn... Hurts So Good

Postby rasmith3530 » 15 Feb 2012, 00:11

Well, the walk turned out to be a pain, literally. I may have to have more injections before the sciatica calms down. I certainly don't want to have the disc removed and the vertebrae fused.
Started the treatment for my other issues today. It seemed to go well.
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Re: Ah, The Burn... Hurts So Good

Postby workingonit » 16 Feb 2012, 16:36

hey Rasmith,
How's it going?
10 days to go til your LIS?
-Tanya
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Re: Ah, The Burn... Hurts So Good

Postby rasmith3530 » 16 Feb 2012, 23:33

Hey Tanya, thanks for the shout. My fissure has actually been behaving somewhat the past several days, save for the "afterburners" (spasms). Not sure if I mentioned it, but I went out on the web over the last weekend, looking for info on Nucynta ER and successful/completed suicide. I guess lucky for me it's a real new drug that doesn't appear to have caught fashion with abusers yet. I ended up calling a crisis line due to my frustration over my neuro/psych issues and a couple days ago I entered a "day hospital" program where I could deal more intensely with the losses I've suffered due to what is going on with my head/nervous system.
Yesterday I saw my GP and explained that the psych cocktail I'm currently on has not helped my original symptoms at all, that I've in fact gotten worse, and that they also seem to be ineffective for the resultant depression and anxiety I'm experiencing. My doc confided that he has never felt my head and tremor issues were psych related, which was why when the first neurologist recommended pointing the investigation for a cause toward cardiovascular system, he sent me for a second neuro opinion.
When both the second neurologist and the counselor who performed my neuro-psych eval both pointed toward psychiatry, he conceded.
I'm glad that I am in this new situation, I am beginning to get listened to. My primary has stated that once the LIS is done, we are going to start the process to get my case examined by the Mayo Clinic.
So, all in all, it's been both good and bad. Sometimes, that's the best you can ask for.
I hope everybody's fissures are feeling better. No living creature should ever have to suffer as painfully as an AF.
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Re: Ah, The Burn... Hurts So Good

Postby workingonit » 17 Feb 2012, 09:42

That Awesome Rasmith!
It is so frustrating when you can tell doctors aren't really listening to you. They just seem arrogant... Like what do you know? It's only your body!
Not too long til your LIS! yeah!
Will they start to ween you off some of the meds you are taking in the meantime?
Mayo Clinic would be great!
-Tanya
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Re: Ah, The Burn... Hurts So Good

Postby rasmith3530 » 18 Feb 2012, 02:56

Tanya, haven't found out about any Med changes yet, but I'm gonna be pushing with the psych folks to do something regarding the Prozac, Klonopin, Cymbalta "cocktail" they've had me on, for it hasn't altered any of my neuro symptoms after three months, and I've actually been feeling more depressed/anxious since they've had me on it. It seems that every time I turn around, another wall is being erected. I just found out today that my insurance has approved for eight, half days in the day hospital program I'm now in. If they've found nothing in seven months, I have little faith in just over a week.
In my youth, I lived vicariously and threw caution to the wind in all things, whether it was street rracing autos, blasting around on my motorcycles, getting into fights, or abusing chemicals of all types. I was a diciple to Timothy Leary, and never figured that I would make thirty, let alone almost double that. I figured that if I didn't die from excessive mind altering, death by miadventure would get me.
I am thoroughly of the belief that it is the excessive mind altering which has come to haunt me. Both a psych that I saw twenty eight years ago as I was cleaning up, and a neurologist that I saw only months ago had the same answer when I posed a question regarding the long term effects of all the chemicals that I had put into my body in fairly large quantities up until I turned 30. They both replied that they did not know, and that there was no body of information upon which to draw any reliable answers from.
I do hope the Mayo route bares fruit, but I am not getting my hopes up too high.
Now, onto my butt. The pain during the BM has reduced a fair amount. I can see the appearance difference in my stools. It is those darned spasms though which are still plagueing me. It is they that currently have me still awake at almost three AM local time.
As the 27th draws more near, I find myself bouncing back and forth between a sense of pending joy that the surgery will close the page on my fissure, and concern that my other health stressors will somehow sabotage my recovery.
Oh yes, last but not least, I had to do some hiking today in order to get my reduced fare card for regional transportation. My sciatica was in full form. I may have to get a couple more rounds of injections, and even then, it may come down to surgery.
Hope every one is doing well out there.
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Re: Ah, The Burn... Hurts So Good

Postby workingonit » 18 Feb 2012, 10:58

Hey Rasmith,
I'm sure the LIS will work out fine.
You'd think there would be some information somewhere about long term effects of LSD. I mean it's not like you were the only one. Perhaps they will know more at the Mayo?
Did you read Baba's information about how dilation was helping with her spasms? "another newbie" topic.
I've read of this from others too. But have yet to try it myself. Just a thought.
Well I guess if you can tackle your problems one at a time, it can only help.
Have a good day!
-Tanya
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Re: Ah, The Burn... Hurts So Good

Postby rasmith3530 » 18 Feb 2012, 15:16

Tanya, as I grew up in a very liberal part of Chicago's North Side during the late 1960s and 1970s, drug use was quite common, and experimenting with different chemicals was actually encouraged among the crowd I ran with. When I talk about using psychedelics, understand that my use was on a weekly basis or more frequently, including a month long acid trip at one point. I have abused chemicals you probably never even heard of, as well as common substances that you might be surprised to find that one could get high off of. I've gotten "high" off of things that are currently classified as poisons (eg. Belladonna).
I today consider myself to be extremely lucky to have survived what I did, and feel blessed that I can even write an intelligible sentence. As much as I can clearly remember from that period, there is maybe twice as much that's been lost to the fog. As they say, "If you can remember the Sixties, you didn't live them." I took Dr. Timothy Leary's outcry to youth to, "Tune in, turn on and drop out" quite literally. I was a wild man with a thriller death wish who thought nothing of driving and riding motorcycles with insane, wreckless abandon, and thought pretty much the same regarding confrontation with others. I have the scars to back it up, both inside and out.
I was actually elated to find that my primary care physician agrees that my problems which became apparent at the end of June in 2011 are not of psychological origin, but rather, are organic in nature.
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Re: Ah, The Burn... Hurts So Good

Postby rasmith3530 » 18 Feb 2012, 15:37

For those familiar with Chicago, I should note that over the course of a few short years, I moved from "Uptown," affectionately known at the time as "Hillbilly Heaven," and a dumping ground for patients from the infamous Reed Zone mental health institution, to East Rogers Park, one of the hotbeds of '60s Hippy culture. It was like stone greaser morphs into hippy, morphs into 1% biker. It was, as the Latinos say, "Living La Vida Loca" (the crazy life). I learned to be tough and vicious in Uptown, learned about drug culture, the anti-war movement and the fight for civil rights in Rogers Park, and then my basic gearhead background led me eventually to an M.C. (Motorcycle Club).
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Re: Ah, The Burn... Hurts So Good

Postby rasmith3530 » 18 Feb 2012, 15:45

Tanya, I haven't read up on dilation and not quite sure how it works or the technique to achieve it, but I am quite willing to learn anything which might help.
Also after reading my last two entries, I should note that 28 years ago, I got clean & sober, and in the years since, my life has once again morphed into something far more spiritual in nature. I can today walk down a street without people wanting to cross the street in avoidance. Miracles DO happen!
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Re: Ah, The Burn... Hurts So Good

Postby workingonit » 18 Feb 2012, 18:40

They say that all your cells in your body have changed about every 7 years. I wonder if this includes brain cells?
I wouldn't assume your troubles are from that time in your life. You don't want to limit your thinking to just that explanation.
-Tanya
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