So i have nearly had this fissure for a year now, and it has effected my life in a big way. along with other problems i havent gone out drinking in a long long time, and dont go to the gym or play football. because of this i have lost quite a few friends.
I have only told 2 friends that i have had long term problems, and only one of them i have gone into detail.
The majority of people i hung out with i realised werent proper friends, and i just saw them on nights out or at football or at the gym, so once i stopped doing those things my social life drastically reduced.
I have also not told anyone at work. i have told my boss i am having tummy trouble, and was always very vauge. thankfully my GP wrote a subtle sick note and so my recent time off after botox didnt have to be explained. ever since i got the fissure i have taken quite a few sick days, so god knows what people think is wrong with me..probably not doing my future employment chances any good either!!
I have just been hoping that once everything is better i can slowly get back my old life, but some people i havent seen in like 10 months now so i dont think it will be that easy. i did get a girlfriend around 1 month before i got the fissure so i assume most of my friends just think i became one of those guys that ditch everyone when they get a girl.
anyway , just curious to see how everyone else has dealt with work and friends. Looking back i have not dealt with it well at all.

To be honest, I don't think ANYONE can deal with a fissure very well! After my first CRS visit (at which my bottom was FULLY inspected by a complete stranger) I completely lost all my pride about these things. To be honest, I no longer care who knows. I've actually been surprised at how many people I know who are going or have gone through the same thing.

My female colleagues I'm closest to. My boss is convinced it's some 'women's' problem and really doesn't want to know. My sick note simply says 'post op recovery'.
My girlfriends know but not their other halves (or at least I've not told). I'm less worried about who knows but not totally relaxed about it. Story of my condition not being totally relaxed.

Hi, andy -
I absolutely tell the truth. I realize that's probably not an option for every person, in every situation -- but I think it's terrible for any of us to be embarrassed about a very common medical problem.
If we could lift the "shame" off this condition (anal pain, fissures, problems, surgery) -- if more people would freely discuss these matters, then none of us would be embarrassed.
So, though I haven't discussed this with everyone I talk with, every single time - I do openly discuss it with everyone I personally know, if the situation calls for it. And sometimes, I'll discuss it with people I don't know.
A few weeks' ago, right after my LIS and fissurectomy, I hobbled into my crs's waiting room, and VERY carefully sat down (on my side, practically) to wait for my appointment. A lady sitting next to me carefully inquired as to whether I had had back surgery. I said, "No, I had surgery on my rear end." --- You could have heard a pin drop in that waiting room.
Well, anyhow, I completely understand your hesitation in discussing it, and I don't blame you . . . but my m.o. is to openly discuss it, with anyone who asks about my medical situation. Just this morning, a high school friend asked if I had torn a leg muscle. I said, "No, I tore my anal area," and I went on to give her a few details. This was all via email - but I really don't care.
I've been in enough pain - with the AF and now the recovery - that I really don't care what anyone thinks.
Please don't get me wrong, I TOTALLY DO understand your reluctance to discuss it -- and it's not your fault. Somehow, we're made to feel ashamed of that part of the body . . . but I just refuse to hide it.
I've been in enough misery - and I just don't care to add "embarrassment" to my misery list.
BTW, hope you feel better, soon.

coudn't have been better put, Bugaboo,
I initially was embarrassed, ashamed and squeemish when mine showed up last november, a few weeks after my boyfriend and I moved in together. it immediately blew open any doors of modesty between us. but i did keep it from most of my other friends and colleagues as I quietly tried to manage/suffer thru healing it conservatively. It started to get pretty unbearable in january and bcz it was affecting my work, I couldn't really keep it from my close colleagues/supervisor at work - but was immediately relieved once I opened up about it. I ended up having botox in january, and my self-comfort gradually increased as I dealt with the pre-op and post-op discomforts. Unfortunately for others, I'm a big ole wide-open book now. But people's reactions to it (relatives, colleagues, friends, friends' boyfriends) have been incredibly supportive. I'm learning that my friendships aren't dependent on me going out to meet up with others as plenty have come to visit and hang out with me if i'm not well enough to leave my apartment. It's amazing how many others have confided in their ass woes. My story telling has evolved from a whisper-embarrassed, bare details to "I had surgery on my asshole" when friends inquire - helps to bring a little humor in it - and maybe it's bcz of my own sick sense of humor, but I find the reaction amusing - people initially will think (or hope) I'm kidding bcz honestly people can not fathom what we go thru. It is all per your comfort, of course- but in the end I found it to be incredibly helpful to be open about it and find a way to bring humor back into my life.

ps, i do have to put a caveiat (no clue how to spell). i work in health care, so it's much easier for me to be open about it at work bcz we are clinicians and it's easy to find compassion amongst my department - it's what we do, plus it's oddly fascinating as a medical practitioner. and there are others who are more in the periphery of my life that i do keep the details vague and they probably think it's an obgyn-thing

For me my excuses started with a lower back pain hence all the shuffling around on my chair. (my employer bought me a chair back support to make me more comfortable!!!)
This excuse dragged on for a while and then i started say i had a tear in my bowel (which isnt technically incorrect)
My workmates being as immature as ever translated this to me having a ripped ass and so thats what stuck in the end!
Davo

It seems as though sailorgal's sick sense of humor and davo's immature friends are closest to how I explained this issue, whenever asked What happened I led with "I ripped myself a new asshole" and then would elaborate from there. It is what it is, and I've always been an open book with those around me, I find it therapeutic to share the good with the bad, whatever that may be. I'd say just stay within your comfort level though, if that's saying you have a stomach problem then so be it, no need to cause yourself any unnecessary stress or anxiety over it. Best wishes, angel

I've told all my friends and my boss, but all my co-workers know is I have an internal injury.

I used to be pretty reticent about it & just said I was having "back problems" when everyone at work wanted to know why I was sitting on a yoga ball. As it's progressed I've gotten a bit more open about it though there's still such a stigma to talking about your butt! If anyone asks why I havent been out I usually start with "You really want to know?" & take it from there. Best wishes on your recovery.