Hi
I have had a fissure for about 2.5 years on and off since becoming pregnant and having serious constipation (I never suffer from constipation usually). During labour I also developed haemorrhoids, but these have never been severe. I have had 2 operations (Botox) and the Diltiazem cream and have learnt my own coping strategies which usually allow me to get on with life, but since I had my last botox and banding of the haemorrhoids operation (6 weeks ago), I have been in excruciating pain and I cant understand what's changed.
I am so down, I cant think straight when I am in pain, none of my usual coping strategies are working, I have a 18 month old boy and its just affecting my life so much. I dont know what to do next.
I was in so much pain and crying on Thursday that my husband called the ambulance, which I wasnt sure about at first, but to be honest the relief I felt when they gave me morphine and gas and air was worth it, just for a small bit of respite.
Every day is the same, and I just haven't got the mental strength to fight it now.I cant understand why it is worse than its ever been now after the last operation. My stools are like liquid - so to have pain as well isnt usual? Soft stools usually make the pain go away?
Does anyone have any experiences of things getting worse (a lot) after operations?
The spasm used to last a couple of hours, now its 8/9/10 hours and its awful.
They are now talking about an advancement flap, but I'm not sure if this is a good idea, if anyone has a similar experience I would love to hear from you.
So depressed, just want it to end now, I cant live a normal life.

Hi my fellow sufferer,
You poor thing, how could anyone who has not had what we have begin to understand the pain we suffer, every day.
Check out my post "Second time around " to read my history.
.When I had the Botox done in 2003/2004 there followed the worst part of my life, a living hell. I totally get the whole ambulance thing. For me it went on day after day with one so bad I was literally crying and crying beacuse nothing worked. My Doctor came out and gave me diazepan because of the state I was in.That knocked me clean out and like you on the Morphine I was so glad of the rest from the pain. They said I might have been allergic to the Botox which is why my bum went mental. I also wondered if they had cut round the fisure to promote healing which made the whole area even more tramatised. The thing is though I did heal , one day it just felt a bit easier and the next abit easier and so on. I think it was at about 6 weeks after that I finally started to heal and you are there so lets hope you will be the same. I have remained so for nearly 7 years.
Got it back now due to a chain of circumstances as expalined in my post earlier today.
I wonder.... my Consultant has given me Diltiazem cream which I have only used for three days but I am finding that I have more pain and for longer with it. I wonder if you are experiencing a similar reaction to the cream if you have surgery wounds. Might it be an idea to revert to a lidocaine ointment or even Rectogesic for a few days just to check. Today I had the most severe pain this morning after appying the cream despite taking ibuprofen. After three hours I had a bath to get it off, three more ibuprofen tablets and applied the Rectrogesic and within half and hour felt much better. Who knows what works and what doesnt. I felt better when the pain eased but tomorrow I will feel exactly like you again, depressed, and wanting my life back so I understand completely your sense of hopelessness.
Hang in there it has to get better!
Sx

I really feel for you.
With children it is so hard as you have the added guilt that you're not engaging with your bub enough or being loving/fun. I am in the same boat with two. I am grumpy for half a day, every day. My pain isn't even that bad, it's just the endless cycle and relentlessness of it that really has me down.