I've had a problem for the past 3-4 years. I'm too embarrassed to ask my doctor again. Last time he referred me to a specialist when I described the issue to him. I'd really love to know if there is something OTC that will make it go away. Thanks guys!

Hi Prithvi,
You really ought to reconsider seeing a specialist for your problem, especially since you've had it for so long. A doctor who specializes in the colon, rectum, and anus is not embarrassed about it at all. It's no different than going to the orthopedist for a knee problem. A specialist can give you a better idea of treatment options available to you, and is also better equipped to diagnose you.
General suggestions for at home care include softening stool to avoid constipation/straining. This is probably the trickiest part, and also the most important, as everyone is so different in this regard and it takes a lot of experimentation with diet, stool softeners, supplements, etc. The forums here are full of great diet tips and products to try.
For pain relief and to relax the area, you can try an over the counter numbing cream with benzocaine or lidocaine in it, but don't use for longer than a week or two as most people develop a skin reaction to these types of things with longer use. You can also try warm baths several times a day and coating the anus with Vaseline prior to a bowel movement to protect the area a bit from stool and further abrasion or irritation. Don't use dry toilet paper to clean up. Either use baby wipes or moistened toilet tissue or even jumping in the shower to clean as an alternative. There isn't really anything you can apply that will make it go away, but applying emollient creams or aloe vera can soothe the area.
I really do hope you will reconsider a visit to a specialist. It really isn't as bad as it seems. Best wishes to you!