I woke up with that awful feeling of dread this morning... How will my poo be today?
I am super stressed about my holiday..3 days and counting. I can't stop crying. I feel I will be carted off to the loony bin. I told my husband I don't think I will be able to go. Talk about working myself up into a panic.
How do I calm myself down? I have already upped my dose of AD's.. Think I need a bucket load!
Sorry to be so down.... Just so fed up of being in constant pain.
Omb

owmybum...
gosh, we can all relate so well to these meltdown times. I'm so sorry that something so fun as holiday has become so stressful for you. Because stress affects any physical ailment, fissures included, it's really important to find ways to relieve it. Things that bring me back to the present moment and out of my thoughts and fears are really helpful. For everyone it is different, but music, reading, watching a favorite movie, deep breathing, and even just being able to vent your fears and get them out can also help relieve them. We all go through periods of being down, so don't add to your stress by beating yourself up too. You are doing the best you can during a really painful time. When the panic thoughts arise, try to catch yourself and turn it around into a non panic thought. So hard to do, I know. But I find that the worst thing I can do is chase those thoughts and let them lead me where they want me to go.
Vent all you need to vent. We're here and we understand what you're going through. No apologies needed.

Oh OMB - My heart goes out to you. When I was going back to work after the summer holiday I felt just like you - in a complete panic- !! how will I cope? What if... what if ...? But you know, going back to work has been absolutely fine - all that worry -and it was fine.
You have made all the right preparations for your trip- you know how to keep well. I get really anxious about travelling, period - even before I had my butt problems, so I can really relate to your feelings - your anxiety is getting the better of you at the moment, before you travel, but once you are on your way all that pressure will be off you - and you will be able to enjoy a lovely holiday. Fitch x

Thank you jr2 and Fitch for your kind words.
I think I have just worked myself up into a frenzy.... And yes, I am anxious about travelling. My youngest has ASD and the thought of a 9hr flight with him kicking the seat in front for at least 8.5 of them fills me with dread
I just don't want to spoil it for every one.. We booked it nearly a year ago.... Little did I realise I would still be in this mess!
You know what.... Yesterday afternoon I had to go work... I popped my painkillers, put a smile on and it actually did me the world of good.

OMB xx

OMB
You were one of the first to welcome me. I am so sorry to hear of your distress.
I know how you feel. I even cancelled a short break with a friend in this country recently. I felt I would not enjoy it but I was more concerned about spoiling it for my friend.
The forum has taught me to count my blessings. I.am not having such.a bad time as many others. I no longer have to work for example.
As.an anxious person myself I can only say what I am sure an intelligent woman knows already. That the anticipation of things is usually far worse than the reality. Once that journey is over and you.are there I feel sure you will enjoy yourself and wonder why you were so anxious. That's usually my experience at least.

OMB,
I'm sure that you will enjoy your trip to Orlando. So glad for you that the bad storm is not affecting Florida any longer. You will probably have a blast. Could you request a special seat/part of the plane for you and your son? If the plane is not full, the stewardess might be more than happy to accommodate your request--maybe at the back of the plane where he would be less noticed. Also, maybe you and your husband could take TURNS sitting with your son. That way you wouldn't have to put it with it yourself for the entire flight. Safe travels!! I love Florida--especially when it is colder here like it is now. That Florida sunshine can be very therepeutic and healthy!!

OMB,
Leave all your worries with us..and enjoy! Take care of yourself and your family. I know how it feels. I too hv a week-long travel coming up and I know I won't be able to maintain my diet and won't be the best thing for my situation. But taking it one day at a time. I owe a lot to this forum.
We are there for you...hope you have a safe travel.

Thank you everyone for your support. It's been great to get it off my chest. I don't know anyone in the 'real world' who could even begin to understand the pain and anxiety living with a chronic af can cause.
I am so glad I found this forum and all you wonderful people.
Have managed to keep a lid on things today...no tears or tantrums
Thank you all

OMB,
Post if you can while you are in Florida enjoying the BEAUTIFUL weather! Hope to be down there again this Feb. I understand fully your apprehension. We had to cancel a month-long planned stay to Australia and NZ in '07 due to my butt issues (thrombosed hemmroid--pre-fissure days).

Ok Cherylk, if I get the chance I will post an update. If not I will def post when I get home.
You seem to have been suffering butt probs for quite some time, you must have nerves of steel by now!

OMB x