DO what ever you feel help,s you. I to was watching a YouTube Video of this man about 62, with an Ostomy bag (sorry If I spelled it wrong)
He had to for sever health issues or his life would be over.
My was he ever upbeat, such an attitude, just so relaxed, explaining the procedure of removing and cleaning.
It takes him about 45 minutes for the morning bathroom routine..I know now to stop complaining if it takes me a little while to thoroughly clean my butt after a BM.
I,m glad you are going for the scope in two week's, get it done and over with, take care and have a relaxing evening, take a Epsom salt's bath, I find they usually send me to la la land..

Thanks alot Please go away.
Yeah i still don't accept it that i'm so messed up but i kinda have accepted it. So i'm not crying as much. At least i'm going to the doctor next week and surely something can be done to help me.
i just become depressed because i feel like I will not be normal again and then i fear i will need a Ostomy bag and all of that have my colon removed. That's scary.
I"ve been trying to sing alot to forget but in my case i think i have Tenesmus too. (feeling like i want to poop or feeling some pressure and weird tenderness) and that really feels weird and bad. So it's hard to forget that i'm not normal.
But i'll keep singing and being strong.