Thank you for the support, Ever the Optimist, as always. I just like to read about others' experiences with the surgery and recovery so I know what to expect, should I need the surgery. I do agree that most of them are horror stories, though, and most people don't post anything if they get through it just fine.
I haven't had any therapy recently, since I really can't afford it right now. I will have enough trouble getting enough money together for another CRS appointment, let alone surgery. Any books you can recommend would be helpful, though! Thank you for the quote website, too. I'm a bit of a quote fanatic myself and they do help you get through difficult times. I'm also trying to do deep breathing, but I'm not sure how much it helps. I might be doing it wrong.
I'm still hoping I won't need surgery, but only time will tell. I will be seeing the original CRS I was referred to by my GP, but I have to wait a month or so because he's so busy (hopefully he will have a cancellation). Didn't you heal naturally after a year or so? I know everyone is different, but that does give me some hope.

Yes please listen to ETO, luka and George..With your issues, reading to much in this situation can just play trick's on your mind, Just keep saying to your self, I am just going for a consultation, and confirm it with the front desk at the doctor's office (for the CRS or new CRS).
I know with my IBS, it sure does havoc on your BM'S. Why don't we try to do something positive, like look up diet's for IBS sufferers.
How about , luka starting a new post on what IBS people with fissures should eat, Good research for you too and fun.:D 

Hi Luka,
I hope you are feeling better today x
Yes, it took me a year & 5 months to reach full healing and trust me, I went through the same as you, where there were lows and discomfort again, which brought back all the stress, anxiety, negative thoughts again. It's not nice but I knew that things were getting better because nothing was ever as painful as it was in the beginning and as the months passed, I genuinely noticed (slow) but definite improvement down there. Every time I went to the toilet, I became braver and talked to myself (sometimes aloud if there was no one to hear!) to reassure myself that nothing was going to be bad and it wasn't!......I do believe the more you reinforce positive thoughts into your mind, (even though you don't fully believe it) just that act of doing so, changes something in your brain to react accordingly.
Deep breathing is very straight forward once you know you are doing it correctly. In bed at night, I lie flat on my back (more on my side though when the fissure was truly painful) and place my right hand on my lower stomach, just below the belly button. The other hand is positioned above the belly button, a little higher up. As you breathe in (through your nose), do so deeply right from the bottom of your stomach and you will feel your stomach balloon out and your hand will raise higher than the other. Just hold it for a few seconds and then exhale through your mouth slowly and deeply and make a bit of an "Aaah" sound as you do it. I do it about 10 times and I know when I've hit relaxation as my body feels like it's physically sinking into the bed and you feel kind of detached from it! If you're doing it properly & regularly, it really helps your general stress levels because you learn you can apply that same sensation when ever you're feeling stressed. There are loads of self help CD's on the market that will also take you into deep relaxation/ positive thinking. I like Tony Robbins' stuff but there's lots of others out there (definitely worth a go!) .....I'll send you some stuff on the books too. :) 
Please - I'd be also interested in the IBS + soft stools diet as I also suffer that too now & again!! It's something I keep meaning to do and devise new recipes from the recommended foods! Just not got round to it yet :) 

Thanks for the advice, everyone. I'm feeling a little better today, although the burning and stinging is still there, especially at night. Hopefully it will ease off in the next week or so like it has before.
Ever the Optimist - I haven't hit the 1 year mark yet, so your story of healing really does give me hope. I guess setbacks are very common with this problem. I was doing so well for a few months with hardly any pain and just a weird feeling in that area. Then the pain came back (not excruciating like in the beginning, but still enough to disrupt my life and upset me). I so hope I am not back where I started because I had come so far and have been doing everything right to heal it.
I couldn't imagine living with this for years! I'm so tired of the rollercoaster ride already and couldn't imagine dealing with this for 4-6 years like some people... even more for others! Ouch!
I'm trying to work on my positive thinking, although it's been a struggle. Some days I'm just so depressed that it's hard to think anything but negative thoughts like "oh no, I'm doomed, this is never going to heal without surgery." : ( It really sucks and I have to try my best to focus my mind on other things and get rid of those thoughts.
I'll give the deep breathing another try, too. I think I've just been doing it wrong. I think it would really help with panic attacks.

Hi Luka, how are you doing so far?
I have the same birthday as you, and similar concerns as well :)  I had my fissure started in Jan, the most painful experience I have ever had, and with GTN and fissure diet I was able to get it recovered slowly(up and down) until last week. It retore after a harder BM, and it is not doing good till today.
I too afraid of surgery but I have no option this time, I have to get myself healed in 3 week time for my wedding, so I will be going for LIS on Thursday, I will let you know how I feel when I am back :)( I too google a lot and scare myself most of the time)
Hope we are all well soooon

Hi blesstech,
I am doing okay. I have my ups and downs. There will be days when I have almost no pain and am doing great, then others when I'm having mild to moderate pain after BMs (it's the worst closer and during my period). I'm just so tired of the rollercoaster ride that this is and have no idea if I'm even close to fully healing. I still want to give myself until the end of the year to heal, but after that, all bets are off and I'm going to get LIS and end this once and for all.
I'm going to see another CRS next month. I'm really scared about what he'll say or do, but it's something I need to do. I'm tired of being in the dark about all this, not knowing what is exactly going on down there. I don't have health insurance, so, financially, this is going to be very difficult for me. I do have some savings, though, in case I need the surgery. I have no idea what that would cost without insurance, though.
I wish you luck with the surgery and your recovery! Let us know how it goes. I'm really curious to hear about it when it's done. It's not an easy decision, but enough is enough at a certain point and you just want your life back.
I wish you well and hope we are all well soon, too. : ) Also, congrats on your wedding! I hope you are completely better by then.

Hey Luka
Good to hear your feeling a little better nowadays. That depression on top of having these fissures plus shy bowels are no joke and can break even the strongest willed person.
Please though Luka, hang tough, keep pressing on. Whenever you get those very down days where its "hard to think anything but negative thoughts" than please reach out to someone.
Call up your bf or a pastor or mom or dad, fire up the computer as you have done in the past and vent here. We will always welcome a shoulder to cry on. But please do not linger too long on the negative depressed feelings as they will just eat at you from the inside out if you know what I mean.
Perhaps you could join a forum (if you haven't already) for those with depressed feelings, that will help you and give you more tips and tricks or books and other resources to help you.
P.S. Hope your managing on your shy bowels, I do hope you looked into ( and or knew about) those resources I sent.
Bless you and good luck in your upcoming decisions on LIS

Hi Luka, Buttastic, has great advice, so stay strong, I had a set back too, I know it is different for all of us, our issues and health but remember it will pass.
Your doing a great thing by seeing another CRS, that's a good step, a positive step. All our best... 

Thank you buttastic and Please-go-away for the support. : ) I'm so grateful for this forum. I'm trying to remain hopeful. It's tough sometimes, but I'm trying.
I've looked into the shy bowel thing multiple times over the years, including those links you gave me, buttastic, but since it's a psychological issue, there's little I can do. I'm already on antidepressants and I can't afford therapy, so it's something I need to manage on my own. I may just have to tackle it after this fissure problem is solved, whenever that will be. It's just too much for me to tackle all these issues at once.
I think I will feel a lot better after seeing a CRS again and having him look at it (by pulling the skin back... no anoscopy, as I could not handle it unless I was put out completely). At least then I will know what my options are. As of now, I'm in the dark and that just makes me more stressed out not knowing what is going on down there. I try to look at it myself, but I don't even know what's abnormal and what's not, so I need a professional to check it out.

Hi Luka, just checking this thread and wondering how you're doing??