feeling hopeless

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feeling hopeless

Postby jlm1 » 09 Jul 2014, 11:30

Hi all,

I've been dealing with this fissure for 6 weeks now and using rectiv (nitro cream) for 5 weeks now. I though it was very slowly getting better but of course my entire life is revolving around when I have to have a BM and then my "routine" after. I soak, sue the nitro, out hot water bag and then hope that I can go about my day. Of course, somtimes I have to have a BM more than morning and night and then my day is rules by this. Also, I started using more than the dosage guide of every 12 hours because, honestly, sometimes if I have a BM in the middle of the day the nitro is the only thing that helps.
So now it's week 5 of this and after 2 doctor visits and a phone call he told me, in a very unsympathetic way, that it should be healed by now. That's it. It should be healed. As if I'm doing something to prevent healing. I am currectlt vacationing in Florida with my family and this trip is just ruined by the pain Im experiencing. The doc wouldn't prescribe any pain meds over the phone. I know they can be constipating but I am desparate and am trying to make it though this trip and possible enjoy it a bit.
The doctor said that he would have to sedate me and look at it again. I am not going back to him. he is a gatsro and, like I said, pretty unsympathetic. I made an appointment with a colorectal surgeon for Monday. I was really hoping that the nitro would have worked and healed this by now. I can't take care of my 19 month old and am generally becoming a miserable person.
Has anyone used nitro cream for 5 weeks or longer? Has it taken anyone longer than that to heal? My diet is great. ( and I have to say that it just sucks to be on vcaation and not be able to eat anything good) I'm using stool softener, mirolax when necessary, prune juice, lots of greens. I have manuka honey but I don't think it's doing anything and dr wheatgrass. I also just purchased an expensive fissure heal kit from optimal health center. Anyone else use this?
I am so afraid of what will happen next. I feel like hopeless, depressed and like I can't take this anymore. Thanks for reading this. I guess I'm just venting......This is the worst thing I have ever been through and it seems like it is no where near over. I just want to crawl into a hole with pizza and cry......
fissure May 2014
nitro, diltiazem
botox July
fistula surgery, piece of skin tag removed Oct
fissure declared healed Dec
currently have burning/pain-told it is nerve pain
physical therapy, sitz baths, valium suppositories
hoping I am healing
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Re: feeling hopeless

Postby Roidsfizzman » 09 Jul 2014, 14:03

Hi JLM,
The purpose of the Nitro is to relax the interior sphincter muscle, so it is much easier to pass a stool. If you are not getting this benefit, the Nitro is not going to work. When we have a BM if we need to push to exit the stool, the stool is pushing to open a closed interior sphincter muscle, and we have no control of this muscle.
I did the creams for 5 weeks and I would have got the same results with water, except I would not have had a headache.
You are making the correct decision in seeing a CRS. I know it is scary taking the next step, but do not delay too long as it is much easier to heal a young fissure.
I wish you the best and I hope that you can get in a couple of good days on your vacation.
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Re: feeling hopeless

Postby Apes » 09 Jul 2014, 14:43

Jim, your doing everything you can, don't eat the pizza. I also had a vacation with family n FLA I couldn't do much, it was very depressing. I used nitro for about the same and switched to nifedipine neither helped. If you are not getting better it will be time to go to the next step, LIS or Botox. I went with Botox as it was less invasive and could always have LIS later if the Botox didn't work. I'm glad your going to see a CRS. keep taking good care of yourself it will eventually pay off. This forum has been a great relief to many, unless you go through this horrible affliction you don't know. I felt like I went through hell and wanted to ended it all. Keep the faith you will heal, it's a long slow process. I'm over 60 days into Botox and feel like I'm healed/healing but have plateaued. Have a very annoying sentinel tag that causes spots of blood after a BM, BUT COMPARED TO WHAT I WENT THROUGH it's not that bad. Good luck
Fissure 2/13/14 from Colonoscopy
Nitro no help
Nifedipine no help
Botox 5/5/2014 work in progress
HEALED 10/2014
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