Unfortunately, I had quite the scare this morning. I felt a brief stabbing pain, not as bad as I've felt before. But, I realized I was bleeding a lot more than I ever have. It was bright red blood and it bled for about 5 minutes. Weirdly though, I don't have a lot of soreness. Before, I would have pain throughout the day.
I have switched from diltiazem to nitro. I was really hoping this would be effective but I worried I just ruined all my progress. I told myself to take a shower and when the shower was done that I would stop feeling sorry for myself. It is finals week and I have a part-time job, so I don't have time to mope like I normally do.
I really consider going back to that CRS and just getting the surgery. But I can't get over how awful I felt after meeting him. I plan on making an appointment this coming week to meet with another CRS before I leave for my trip. I decided that I will get the surgery late June after I return from my trip. Unless this new CRS does botox, I feel like it's my only option. I start grad school in the fall, and I would really like to have this resolved.
I'm hoping when I look back at my last weeks as a senior, I don't have this in my memory. I feel very lucky I even graduate on time, but I'm too upset with this to be happy about everything. I like to think I'm a positive person, but this has been going on so long that I'm so discouraged. Just venting…