Two months in -- How do you guys do it?

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Two months in -- How do you guys do it?

Postby HoserBum » 06 Feb 2013, 15:34

Hey all. 40yo, married, from Canada. My fissure started in early-December after a rather difficult BM. I have an insanely stressful job and some anxiety issues so they all came to head around this time. Saw a surgeon in early-January who gave me a perfunctory spelunking and diagnosed a fissure. He prescribed Nifedipine, which seems to be helping a bit.
I'm pretty much on a liquid diet, yogurt, soy milk, smoothies, because I am simply terrified to eat solid food. Somehow I still keep having solid BMs that tear me anew, even with stool softeners.
I realize in the big scheme of things a fissure is more of a nuisance than anything else. I was reminded of that recently when a coworker, my age, was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Really kind of put my ass in its place.
Nonetheless, this is starting to get to me. My wife is very supportive but I can sense her frustration because going out for dinner was our big thing and we can't anymore. I'm on the verge of a panic attack before I eat anything solid. I'm tired of feeling like I am healing, then bam, one solid stool and I am torn and ripped and bleeding. I don't think I will ever get used to the sight of seeing blood in a toilet bowl. It still fills me with horror. I use a donut pillow at work because I am in a car most of the day. I have to make up lies to coworkers about why I cant go for lunch, what the round donut thing is in the pillowcase I carry around with me, why I am so cranky today. why the limp?
Some of the stories I read on here make me want to cry. People who've lived with this for 5-6 years. My god how do you do it? I'm two months in and my life has completely changed.
Worst thing of all: I am so hungry lol
Thanks for reading my rant.
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Re: Two months in -- How do you guys do it?

Postby hopefulbutt » 06 Feb 2013, 15:50

HoserBum, nice to meet you. I am been doing this a year. It was much worse for me in the beginning. I actually have had a few great days, even weeks! But it or different ones keep coming back for me. Hopefully the cream will work for you as you caught it early! Miralax has become my bestfriend, hot baths, magnesium, and I avoid grain fiber like the plague (though it seems to help others). I take it daily and will even when I do heal. I still believe I will heal.
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Re: Two months in -- How do you guys do it?

Postby HoserBum » 06 Feb 2013, 15:53

Thanks. When you say grain fibre do you also mean ground flax seed? There are so many health benefits to it I don't want to give it up.
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Re: Two months in -- How do you guys do it?

Postby CrackinUp » 06 Feb 2013, 16:24

Do you have spasms? I suffer from 4-12 hour pains after a BM. It's worse than actually going which is what I used to think was scary. Spasms scare me way more.
I'm seeing a surgeon tomorrow to find out what my fate is. If he thinks GTN will heal me I'll continue. If not, he might as well book me in for LIS, as like you, I want my life back!! I miss red wine and being able to eat anything. I'm living on veg and fish which is great but a little boring 7 days a week :(
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Re: Two months in -- How do you guys do it?

Postby hopefulbutt » 06 Feb 2013, 18:45

No, I eat ground flax seed. I should say I have a hard time eating anything with too much flour. Bread, cereal, crackers, buns, pizza crust, etc. even healthy ones make my bms large and hard.
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Re: Two months in -- How do you guys do it?

Postby Tighty » 11 Feb 2013, 10:30

Hoser, I also felt like my life completely changed when this happened to me. I completely stopped lifting weights, which was huge in my life, and stopped eating meat completely. After I found a regimen that worked for me in 3-4 weeks, I was able to introduce those things back into my life, lifting weights, while being very careful with diet, although I also started introducing small amounts of meat, cheese, alcohol, and coffee back in. I found that as long as I stick with the regimen of magnesium, lots and lots of water, citrucel, things were okay (however, when I stopped that, the fissure re-tore, which I found out this weekend : ( )
As far as your diet, have you tried cooked vegetables? Also, have you tried applying vaseline to the area before a BM? Once the fissure heals a little and there are no spasms, you could try applying a little up there before a BM to help things go smoothly.
Also, I know a lot of people on this board take a spoonful of coconut oil every night before bed, which helps with BM's in the morning.
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