I've been bed bound since February 2nd. I am 29 and I've had fibromyalgia since I was 17. I have been laying down only getting up to use the bathroom. Needless to say I feel like my life is over and it is taking a steep decline downhill since July 2015 with out of these weird chest pains in my sternum which can best be described as a 'chronic heart attack'. Yes... I know there is no such thing, but I feel like I am going through it all the time!
So, on to the sphincter... I've been chronically constipated since I was a little kid. We were poor and fruits and vegetables that didn't come in a can were a rarity. I grew up drinking Pepsi mostly and hardly touching water. So to my young ignorance I brought all my suffering on myself. My goal is to become a vegan, cutting things out of my diet one by one. Pepsi was harder to quit than any drug I have tapered off of. Ever hear of Effexor? That was hell coming off of... but still pop was harder to quit for me. So all the damage I have, I have done onto myself.
I had a colonoscopy at the beginning of March, and was only able to get an appointment with my gastroenterologist today finally, the 29th... to hear about how the procedure went. Does that sound about right to you guys? Did they make me wait too long??? I did the Miralax prep with blue Gatorade. All was fine an dandy until about 3 o'clock in the morning when my blood sugar was very low. I got really shaky, scared, nauseated, overall terrible malaise, followed by a flare up... I did not sleep the night before. Then I had to ride 2 cities away to get my procedure done. In order to travel in a car I STILL have to put the front passenger seat down, put a couple of couch pillows under my belly, a few pillows to keep my head up, a pillow on the side for each elbow, and I pull the seat belts all the way down in the back and hold on so that I do not apply any pressure on my rectum. Then I use a wheelchair by placing my knees where my butt should go and stuffing some pillows around my rear encase it so much as touches the side and I hang on to the bar that I am being pushed by. I have not been able to sit without my sphincter clamping shut and the pain level on that thing is right up there with the sternum pains. Any of this sound familiar to you guys? Because when I explained this stuff to my General practitioner last week he said to me, "Have you thought about seeing a psychiatrist for this pain? Because I have never heard of sphincter spasms." >.>
I have PTSD so they had to medicate the crap out of me for the procedure. I'm immune to Valium, thanks psychiatry. I found out today what they gave me for anesthesia....bah, I lost the paper work... I'll find it in a bit and put that information up, something like like 50 mg of benadryl (why?) and 2 other things. My gastroenterologist said, "Oh, wow, we gave you something we call a hurricane, which is the maximum dosage of what we are allowed to give a patient going under." I thanked him because I had the best sleep of my life for a week, heh... Seriously, I toss and turn all night in pain.
He said I had a fissure that was healing in the back... it tore open again just this last Sunday because I went a day without taking my daily double dose of Miralax. My poop is as thin as a sharpie marker and as I was going to mention that to him he beat me to it, "Your sphincter is real tight." He went on saying, "Now, not to scare you, but the next step is surgery." I shrugged it off because I'm numb, I keep myself numb and dissociated on the matter right up until the procedure, and then out comes a tsunami of anxiety. It is a self preservation mechanism of mine that is quite automatic.
I told him I have been bed ridden, except hobbling to the bathroom since February 2nd and he says to me, "That sounds long enough to me." And he didn't say what type of surgeon he was referring me to. I am assuming a colorectal surgeon........ I do not trust the surgeons in this area. My mom and dad worked at hospitals, cleaning up the operating rooms, watching the operations in progress, and they told me the multitude of ways that the Drs and nurses cover their arses when they mess up during surgery, and then they blame it on the patient with some other underlying condition, like their weight. So... I don't know what to do... but I need my butt fixed. He mentioned that cream that starts with the letter N, but he mentioned headaches and I am a whimp when it comes to headaches. Give me spinal pain instead, I seem to handle it better. But my headaches always lead to nausea and nausea is my other weakness... but the knife pains I get up my rear have to stop for my life to continue. I can't even pleasure myself with without spasms Talk about tension, irritability and rage!!! Anyways, he referred me to the surgeon and we'll see what he wants to do. I should get a call later on in the week about setting up an appointment.
Any advice???? Should I try anything before trying out the surgery? Anyway to lesson this sphincter pain? What can I expect??? Is the pain this bad for you guys or is my fibro just making it more intense on me?
I go in for a CT scan Thursday because my general practitioner was very puzzled by my condition. This will be my first CT scan, I wonder do they just give it to the one area or do they do a CT scan all over? I hope they do it all over since the dye I am going to be ingesting will be all throughout my system. They might be able to find some other underlying condition that I might have in regards to fibromyalgia... But I think this tight sphincter is messing with my pelvic floor because now a few weeks ago I started to get shooting pain in my cervix off an on.... I've really been looking into euthanasia and Sweden... it is just so expensive though...
Anyways, I've give anything to be 'normal'. I lost all my friends all young age because I couldn't keep up with them. And no matter what friends I make, they always go away because they have no patience or understanding for anyone in pain. Pain has literally taken my life away. Most Drs can't do anything so they blame me. I feel like I am a huge burden on my boyfriend and society. I'm already the walking dead.