alx,
Sounds like you are doing great. It got easier for me to hold the bm's a little longer as I healed. I would imagine the botox and the valium could be adding a little extra kick to the relaxing sphincter.
I cut the valium in half and just took one early in the morning right before my bm's which became very predictable, after my LIS.
Keep up the good work with the diet for along time! It won't be long and you will be able to eat some new food along with your high fiber!