Dear Jerseygirl,
So sorry that you are in pain, but we know exactly how you feel
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You do not want to eat too much fiber, or you will just aggravate things further by having big stools. A woman needs about 30-35g of fibre a day, and there is a good link on here showing that info and the latest on low fiber:
http://anal-fissure.org/t4808-low-fiber-diet-latest-information-mayo-clinic There are also some good bits of info posted by members on the link before you actually look at the Mayo Clinic site.
You need to drink water – at least 62ozs a day. That is about eight average sized glasses. Very important.
I would recommend buying a Sitz bath, if you do not already have one. This you can fill with warm water and it helps to soak after a bowel movement, to stop the pain of spasms (this is all our big bug bear on here – the spasms of the uncontrollable inner sphincter). I have found, after much experimenting, that the bath on the loo helps. Any questions on it, feel free to ask.
Cleaning: dab with wet loo paper (the softest and best you can get), never rub. Clean as best you can, as residue can irritate and cause itching. Don’t use soap. I use Vaseline, a less than pea-amount after all is dry. Nothing else. I am sensitive and really learnt through trial and error. I finish off the cleaning (again dabbing) with damp Johnson and Johnson gauze pads. I have had this mess for over two years now, so believe me I have been there, tried it all and bought the T-shirts.
Did your doctor not suggest using nitro? Here is another link on here, with info about nitro that you might like to wade through:
http://anal-fissure.org/search?search_keywords=nitroThere are, of course, links here to info about botox. A few have had success (there is one story on the Success Stories here) , quite a few have not. Of course there may be many who have had botox, and been very happy with it and never even thought to come here (there are statistics on the internet that 50%-80% heal with botox) but a lot of people on here have voiced their sentiments about it.
There are so many different stories on here. Mine is just one. After trial and error, I have resorted to self-dilation to loosen the sphincter, without having surgery. Many others have had surgery, and after their recovery period gone on to fissure-free life far from here!
Hopefully, others will come with their suggestions. We are here for you.
All the very best.
Sav