Hi, have been in agony with anal fissure for 8 weeks. Doc first thought it was piles, as did I, but pain was so intense she sent me for endoscopy. He couldnt find tear or fistula, just piles and thickened swollen inflamed tissue (which I'm now thinking was the possibly a tear with scar tissue healed over it??) so referred me for mri and also rectal exam under anaesthetic.
To cut a long story short, my mri came back clear and a couple of nights ago I was in so much pain my partner called out doctor and he put me into hospital as my appointment for the rectal exam was not forthcoming and he could see I had reached breaking point. I'm not ashamed to say this but when doc arrived and said how can I help? my first reply was "well you can if you have a gun in your case". Yes, terrible to say, but I now feel I have no life whatsoever except pain every day - and not just any old pain but bloody awful pain!!!! Pain that makes you cry like a baby, makes me scream like I'm being murdered and has turned me into the grumpiest person ever! I have had days so low I just wish I wouldnt wake up. I told the doctor who called out to see me that I would happily never poo from my bum anymore and wanted a stoma/colostomy. He actually DID NOT LAUGH and commpletely sympathised with this.
Anyway, got to hospital the next day and the surgeon found a huge fissure which she injected botox into (why had endoscopologist not found this - had it been hidden by scar tissue?). I was pleased for a while as the spinal anaesthetic had caused my bum to be numb for a few hours and it was a pleasure to be alive again - until I awoke in hosp at 3am in extreme pain (anaesthetic worn off!) and felt so stupid because I expected a miracle cure! The consultant came round the ward the next morning and he said I was to be given cream (dilitazem) and I asked him how long it would take for the full tear to heal. His reply was "how long is a piece of string?". I asked him if it was possible to have a stoma as I could not bear the thought of pooing from my bum anymore and he laughed and said no-one had ever asked him for one of these before and that I didnt realise just what this would entail. That's where he's wrong. My dad had one when he had bowel cancer. I know to him it may sound a little OTT but to me it's the only solution as I honestly dont think I can keep this up for much longer. I was already living a hellish existence before this fissure came long so it has been the final nail in the coffin for me. His attitude just lowered my mood immediately. After he and 3 other doctors left my bedside I drew the curtains round my bed for 2 hours and sobbed - not one person in hosp even noticed, that's how busy/caring the NHS is these days!
Surely I am not the only one - now that I have found this support group - who has not pondered the possibility of defecating from another area in their body? I know stomas are obviously kept for very ill people with bowel cancer/disease, but even a temporary one which may allow the tear to heal or at least give us, the sufferers, a chance to get our life back isn't too much to ask? I'm getting to the stage where I may just produce a gun to a surgeon and insist on a stoma or I take him out!!!!!!
Anyone else feel this strongly or am I just a big fat wuss??