On the 27th August I had my beautiful baby girl Arwen. Two weeks later this nightmare began.
I have another topic introducing myself and explaining my state of mind but it will probably get touched on again in here.
A brief timeline -
27th Aug - Birth - Traumatic labour with ventouse delivery. I had three code blues called, multiple black outs, oxygen loss, massive blood loss and big episiotomy.
6th sep - Bum started hurting - thought it was because of episiotomy
8th sep - Because of iron tablets RE massive bloodloss I had a very large, very black BM. Hurt the AF that I already had (didn't know that yet) Took ibuprofen thinking that the pain would go away.
9th sep - had a feel around down there and felt a lump. Researched on the net and assumed was hemorrhoids.
Went to pharmacy and got Coloxyl stool softeners and Hemocane cream. Upped my fibre intake.
(At this point i treated with the cream and stool softeners - overdid it on the fibre as most of us do at the start and probably made EVERYTHING worse - still thinking I had hemorrhoids.)
30th sep - things were still bad but i had read about bowel dependance on the colace so frightened myself and decided to stop taking them for a week or so. Probably not the best idea. At this point had been a month and was pretty ropable.
6th Oct - I couldnt take the pain any more, i was having a BM in the morning and then being stuck in bed until at least 3pm. At this point if I had had a job i would have been fired. I went to the Dr who was ignorant of AF (and at this point I still thought I had a hem) he was rough with me and looked inside with a very painful instrument (I KNOW he made my AF worse.) He said i had a couple of tiny hems inside and nothing to worry about prescribed me Proctosedyl and that was that.
I left feeling crap - how can I be in so much pain if there is nothing wrong - I thught I must have something wrong in my head. I was in horrific pain for days with no letup after that visit.
10th Oct - I had a panic attack due to the pain and due to being scared that this will be a forever thing. I feel ripped off of time with my daughter and learning to play and grow with her. At 11pm having a panic attack i woke my hisband up and made him drive me and my baby to my mums. The top of my head had gone numb and i was shivering (from the PA) - mum took the baby, rugged me up and made me sleep.
10th - 30th Oct - I stayed at mums for 20 days. I had another 2 drs visit as i felt the first didnt help me at all. First dr had a look externally while i broke down in his office and said he could see a small tear (this was the first time anyone had mentioned a tear to me) and was more worried about me developing PND. I couldnt explain that I was sad and upset because of the pain I am in and not PND. I left there feeling more crappy and desperate as it appeared that the diagnosis was Man up essentially. The next doctor had a quick external look and declared there was nothing there and pain was in my head (THE FK)
I started self treating from this website and other websites. Things included -
Hemocane
proctosedyl
Ice (but have learnt that's the wrong way to go)
Witch hazel for my hems (no idea if that's good or bad for fissure but lord did it sting)
Rectogesic wipes
Cotton balls (wet) for wiping
Drinking 3-4 litres water per day
coloxyl (have stopped)
Lactulose (have stopped)
prune juice in morning and before bed
Complete diet change to high fibre
Probiotic tablets
Vit e - healer of skin and promoting skin strengthVit c (swallow capsules) - stable immune system
Garlic capsules - purify the blood and promote healing
Zinc- again promotes healing
Coconut oil
30th Oct - now i felt i had to go home so for the last month have been battling this demon at home alone for most of the day. My house has gone to sh*t. I cant do any housework and hubby works long hours and doesnt help. Baby is high needs and doesnt like to be put down at any point. People seem to be really annoying and all just say "it'll take time, it'll work out" which is all well and good for them to say but its not helpful AT ALL.