Hello all,
I started reading here and figured I might as well share my story too. I hope its OK to get a bit 'personal' in my introduction. My whole life I've never been constipated, nor do I usually have hard/large BMs, but I have been known to strain to get fully empty. I'm not much for eating vegetables but am a big water drinker so I think that really helped keep me 'regular.' Then about 2.5 months ago I saw a drop of blood and started getting some pain and discomfort and was hoping whatever it was would just heal. BMs were a bit uncomfortable and I had to make a 'donut' out of a blanket to sit at my desk. But life was reasonably livable.
Then about a month ago just when things seemed to be getting better I did have something large to pass and it must have ripped/cut something inside. Sitting was getting more painful and there was constant but not killer pain. Unfortunately it just got worse and worse. For the last 10 days, life has been hell. I can't sit at all, the pain is constant and comes in waves from medium to killer. Driving is a nightmare - I have to brace my left foot on the dead peddle to lift my body off the seat. I have a stick shift so I've been clutching with my right foot and only using 1st, 3rd and 5th gears. My daily 'constitutional' each morning is torture and sets me up for 10-12 hrs of pain. It kills me even when its 'soft and loose' and the worst part is when I clinch back up again. (Has anyone else had that? It hurts badly even when I finish urinating and clinch my pelvic muscles back to 'hold' position.) By evening I can lay on the couch with my feet up and relax a bit with only mild pain, but when I fall asleep the pain can wake me up as more 'material' gets ready to exit. So quite a few mornings I'm awake at 4 with no chance of sleeping again.
I put off going to a Dr because I was laid of last year and have been living off savings while working for a 'not yet making money' startup company. I finally pleaded my case a few days ago to my previous Dr and they very nicely saw me for only a co-pay amount. I got Recticare Lidocaine cream and Hydrocortizone acetate suppositories and was told to use 800mg ibuprofen. I have noticed ZERO affect of the 'numbing' cream and ZERO affect of 'pain-killing' ibuprofen. Unless I suppose it would be worse without them.
Today I went to a Colo-rectal surgeon specialist (out of pocket for $120) and he used a numbing jell to quickly examine me and I almost shot threw the roof!! There was NO numbing at all and it hurt like hell! He said it looks like a "nasty" fissure and for the last 10 days I've also got a small hemorrhoid starting and maybe thats where the fissure is. Thankfully he had a sample of Rectiv for me, as I've seen prices are astronomical. He said to see if it starts healing and come back in 3-4 wks. I cant imagine living with this that long!
I always thought I was good with pain - I've hammered my finger, had badly bloody knuckles from working around the house, burned myself working on hot car engines... One time I sliced my finger and fingernail on a table saw. I just taped it with a napkin and electrical tape to stop the blood from getting on my project and kept going cause I wasnt done yet. But this is UNBEARABLE! Both the colo-rectal Dr and his nurse told me to sit up on the table to check me. Huh???? IF I COULD SIT DOWN I WOULDN'T BE HERE!!!!!
{sigh} ... Well, I am sorry for my LOOOOOONG rant and being such a downer. I hope I didnt spill TMI but I think it should be ok on a 'butt' forum. :) I'm just sure you are the only people who would actually understand what this is like.
If anyone is still reading, I did have a few questions :
1) How successful is Rectiv in healing these things? How quickly is there SOME semblance of progress or reducing of pain?
2) What is the cost of surgery and how successful is that? I'm almost ready to tell them to cut me open (at full price) if it can stop this...
I've taken to not eating on some days (or eating very little) - I have about 20lbs I can afford to lose. And when the pain gets really bad (for no reason the pain just spikes - is this the 'spasm' I've read on here about?) I've started punching my thigh to give my brain some different pain to deal with (tops of thighs can take a beating before bruising... strangely, buttocks bruise pretty easily.)
OK, thats enough. Sorry for spewing all over your nice forum..
CJ