Worst summer of my life

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Worst summer of my life

Postby twenben » 25 Aug 2011, 22:26

On a bright june morning, 2 months ago, I went to the bathroom. It hurt like hell, but then again, it had happened many times before and had never been a big deal, except this time it was. After a few days, I went to the clinic and a GP told me "Oh, this is nothing. You have an anal fissure. I see plenty of those every day. It's going to take a long while and it'll be annoying, but it'll heal if you take sitz baths and eat a lot of fiber". So I started doing that, religiously, only to find out that even if it seems like you're healing, it takes one bad BM for you to go back to square one... over... and over... and over again.
After looking it up online, I realised GPs know nothing of anal fissures and the chances of it healing on its own are next to null. I read about how people have to deal with them for years and even decades, and then most people end up going into surgery, which might leave you incontinent for the rest of your life.
Oh, did I forget to mention I'm gay and a big part of my sex life revolves around my anus? I've pretty much lost all the self-confidence I had, I no longer feel sexy in the slightest, and I feel like I'll never be able to be in relationship again (since I avoid men altogether nowadays because of the fissure). Could I even still have sex after it healed? What if it caused the fissure to tear again? I have found practically no resources on the internet for gay men with anal fissures and am in despair. I've been screaming and crying for 2 months and I can't bear to think about living like this for the next 60 years (I'm 22).
Does anybody have a bit of hope for me?
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Re: Worst summer of my life

Postby twenben » 25 Aug 2011, 22:39

Sorry for all the negativity in my previous post, I'm just so, so fed up with this pain and the psychological distress that comes with it.
I'd like to add that I haven't had spasms so far, is that normal? I mean passing stool has been HELL and there are times when I'm in pain for hours afterwards, but no spasms.
Part of me still thinks it's going to end up going away on its own if I eat healthy and don't strain... am I wrong?
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Re: Worst summer of my life

Postby val » 25 Aug 2011, 23:18

Aww, sorry you're in such a bad way, the pain of a little cut, and the impact it has on your life is awful. But you're here now, so at least you're not on your own.
First, you need stool softeners - miralax, movicol seems to work the best.
You need to ask your gp for one of the healing creams - diltiazem, or rectogesic. If you catch it in it's acute stage, the creams can heal it, but possibly don't hold out too much hope as you've had it since june, but it is still early days, so it could work. Worth a try.
I'm sure someone will be along soon, with more info about whether it will impact on your sex life for a long time afterwards.
Take care.
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Re: Worst summer of my life

Postby Deleted User 579 » 26 Aug 2011, 08:53

Welcome Twenben! I’m sorry you have to be here, but you’ve come to the right place. We all understand your pain and the psychological trauma. Fissures really mess up your life and can be physically and mentally debilitating! Image
I agree with all of Val’s advice – good stool softeners (Miralax/Movicol/Restoralax – the name depends on where you live – is the favourite here). And definitely find a good Colorectal Surgeon (CRS). S/he will likely start you on some kind of ointment, like nitro or Diltiazem, which promote blood flow to the butt to help with the healing. The reason fissures become chronic and fail to heal is usually because the sphincter is too tight and/or spasms, which prevents blood flow, which in turn prevents healing. Warm baths also help stimulate blood flow. If the ointments don’t work after a few weeks to a few months (depending on the timeframe you and your CRS decide upon), then surgery is usually indicated.
The surgery is a Lateral Internal Sphincterotomy. It involves making a small cut to the internal sphincter to loosen then muscle and stop the spasms. It is not unusual to not feel spasms, and sometimes they are hard to recognize (you know you have spasms if there is a throbbing/burning feeling). I didn’t have spasms that I felt until my fissure was almost two months old, and then I really felt them! Some boardies here didn’t ever feel spasms, but their CRSs told them that their sphincters were too tight and/or that their sphincters were spasming, but they just didn’t feel it. The LIS is considered the gold standard treatment. The cure rates are very high (like around 95-98%) and the complication rates are quite low.
One thing to note while you do your research is that many websites don’t distinguish clearly between incontinence to formed stool, incontinence to liquid stool and incontinence to gas. Incontinence to formed stool is pretty much unheard of. The most common form of incontinence is to gas – so you may f@rt a bit more. Some boardies here have had some minor leakage after the LIS, which is annoying and can irritate the bum; but, this usually gets better over time, and none of the boardies who experienced this regretted getting the surgery.
Another complication of an LIS is infection. I had an LIS in May. It healed my fissure in about two weeks. About a month after surgery, just as I was getting completely better, I developed a small abscess at the incision site. The incision wound healed too quickly in the wrong way and an abscess formed, which eventually turned into a superficial fistula. I had a minor surgical procedure to fix that on June 27th and now I am about 97% fully healed. Even though I had a complication, I still don’t regret the LIS. Fissures can get infected and/or form fistulas without surgery too, so I figured may as well be healing if something like that might happen! The LIS was scary as hell, but it gave me my life back.
Now for the most important thing: If you find a good CRS asap, then you have a very good chance of healing sooner rather than later. A CRS can tell you if your sphincter is too tight, and the pros and cons of different treatments, and especially the implications for anal sex. I will say this: you do not have to suffer for the rest of your life. There are treatments and the surgery, if it comes to that, with a good surgeon will not leave you with fecal incontinence. You will get your life back, and you will have an active, happy sex life again. There is definitely hope! Just go get yourself a good CRS. We are here to help and support you.
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Re: Worst summer of my life

Postby twenben » 26 Aug 2011, 09:14

Thank you for the kind replies :) I'm currently waiting on test results for unrelated health issues and am supposed to go see my GP next week. I will definitely ask her for a referral to go see a CRS. I will keep you guys updated in the general forum as I have more news :)
I'm really glad I found this forum, I don't know what I would've done if I was alone in this. :)
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Re: Worst summer of my life

Postby Bambi » 27 Aug 2011, 07:27

Hi twenben- I don't have a lot to add because others have already given you lots of good advice. But I wanted to add that I also never really felt what others have described as "spasms" (thank the heavens!). My pain was centered on when I had a BM and I would have some burning afterwards but not for hours on end. I finally had LIS surgery Feb. 17th after almost a year of trying other things (Nifedipine, 2 rounds of Botox, many things on my own before seeing the CRS). Afterwards, the CRS told my husband that my muscle was "very tight" and "very spastic" so there you go. So like someone else said, it can be happening without us feeling it as much as others- I don't know why, but I am grateful for that.
I'm sure your CRS should be a good resource for you in terms of how this would impact your sex life down the road and maybe some ideas of how to prevent it in the future. Sorry to not be of help there, but I bet someone will respond to you about that. Get that referral as quickly as you can and "get thee hence" to the CRS!
Bambi
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Re: Worst summer of my life

Postby Ouch-Oz » 26 Jan 2013, 20:14

Hi twenben! I know it was a while ago that you posted above, so i am wondering how you got on?? I am also interested in how whether your worries about anal sex came true of if you have had no problems?
I am new to this forum and like you am gay and have recently had an anal fissure found. I am actually in a relationship but because of my pain i have not been able to have much sex in a year. Image
My CRS has given me the cream. It has not worked. I am going back now and he said i can choose BOTOX or LIS. What do you think? I am worried LIS will reduce sensation down there!! Which is why i am asking you as it sounds like you and I may have the same concerns with that!!
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