Hopetoheal, you've been so brave getting through all this, you definitely deserve a medal! I don't know if I could mentally and physically be able to take all of what you went through. If you have any more surgeries in that area I hope the doctors give you the sleep gas! I know I would probably need it as well if I need to do another surgery.
At first when you said all you lost was 15 lbs, I was thinking you're lucky! But 15 pounds is a lot if that's about as much % in your weight!! 25 pounds or more that I lost has made me feel a bit weaker and vulnerable too. Just remember that it doesn't matter if we're losing weight and muscle, but that we're solving our problem, and it'll be over soon. I'm just glad we're not losing weight because we choose to!
Are you still using the stool softeners hopetoheal, and if so, when do you plan on stopping/ do you plan on stopping?
My bm's have been getting better and better everyday as I have said, but yesterday morning's was kind of hard, or felt that way, maybe because my eating schedule was off while I was at the beach.
I think as long as we can clean ourselves properly and efficiently after a bm, we can go anywhere and do almost anything we want as long as we make sure our bottom area is not disturbed. Going for long walks, to the mall, or any store would be a fantastic way to get out, as long as we have cold water bottles near by, either in a cooler with ice or at a store for sale, and as long as the ride home isn't too long, so we don't sit on the bottom too much.
At least I have some things to do this week, and next, that I usually DREAD doing, but any excuse to get up and out of the house during these times feels like a blessing lol. But if you feel more comfortable staying at home hopetoheal you do just that. Being stressed the tiniest bit makes it worse I'm sure we all know. Just the other day my dad did something annoying, and my usual response yelling to him actually hurt me! It's gotta have something to do with the blood pressure.
Here's a couple funny stories anyone can laugh at, I did when I realized how clueless I could be.
The day of the operation, when it was over, before I went home, I had a few hours of errands to run. When I got home, I was interested to check my bottom with a mirror and see what was done to me, as I couldn't see at the crs office. When I spread my cheeks, I seen what looked EXACTLY like the shape of my former abcess but red like the skin colour around it! I was wondering where my my old butt was! How was I going to have bms! But after about a minute of worrying, I remembered they put a cotton ball there! It was squeezed in therd for so long and sponged so much blood it actually looked like a huge abcess lol.
The other funny part is when I read that if the pus has a funny, foul smell, it may be infected. Well, last week, low and behold, I smelled something funny. But it went away, only to come back again the next day! I was worried again. But I regained my sense once again, and realized the smell was my breathe! Because I just started taking up onions in my diet! Lol

ROFL!! Ha Ha, Adam! Your stories are too funny!
Thanks for the laugh - I really need that!
It really sounds like your recovery is going brilliantly. That's fantastic!
I'm still working on getting out in the world. I'm on anti-depression and anti-anxiety meds because a year of this has pretty much turned me into a basket case. My butt still hurts a bit, so I'm not too mobile, although I can do light housework and go for short walks. But the real issue is anxiety. You are quite right that stress is bad for the butt! I haven't been able to get angry at anybody for a very long time now and everybody thinks there's something wrong with me because I'm being so nice! I am getting out more now, though - I'm just taking baby steps.
I haven't used the Restoralax for about 10 days now. The stools were getting too loose and I even had diarrhea a few days ago. I started eating oatmeal and drinking lots of water, and so far that has helped.
The good thing about Restoralax is that you can modify the dose. Are you using Restoralax? Some folks find it helpful to take their doses twice a day, like once with breakfast and the other after dinner. For a while I did 1/2 dose twice a day, and then 1/4 dose twice a day, and then no dose. I found breaking the doses up to twice a day was better than taking a full dose once a day for achieving the "Goldilocks poo" (not to hard, not too soft, but just right!)
A change in diet would certainly change the stool consistency, so maybe you will go back to normal with your good diet. I think it will take a while before we figure out what combination of off-diet food and stool softener will work. I'm still experimenting myself.
Walking around in an air conditioned mall sounds like a good idea. I'll try that next week. That way I can get some exercise, stay cool and hydrated, and not get stressed out. I really need to get some muscle mass back. I used to kick ass until my ass kicked me!
I hope you have a great day with no pain and good BMs! And I hope you find new joy in the errands you were dreading! :D

Aww hopetoheal, you're not alone with the anti-anxiety pills; my sister used to have to take them, and may still take a few here and there. My mother takes them as well I believe I know she used to. I think anxiety is a hereditary thing, maybe 6 or 7 years ago I used to have really bad anxiety, it was embarrassing to be having the anxiety in public, but I just didn't want to take meds for it, I wanted to get through it myself. And I did through believing in myself.
But I have to admit, after the first few days of realizing this problem with my butt was serious, I got depressed and had to snap out of it at work. It's hard not to be depressed when it's so hard to talk about the problem to other people!!!
As for the stool softener, K was never offered any by my doctor, or given the idea. The first week of stools were still hard for me, until learning the only wayto keep my stools soft is to have a fibre 1 cereal for breakfast, and a bowl of chicken vegetable soup for lunch and dinner, and to have apple sauce with a nutrigrain bar or pitted prunes as snacks in between.
Yesterday's bm may have been hard for me because I wasn't able to eat every 4 hours as I have been. The only other change was at the beach I brought cherries. I'm sure the beach and it's uv and humidity had something to do with it grrrr..
Yes hopetoheal, if you feel comfortable going to the mall you should in the morning/afternoon on a Tuesday or Wednesday when there's not as many people to bump into you or bug you! And don't travel too far either, the less time sitting in transportation the better. It will bring you back to a pleasant reality! Just don't break the bank!
Just had my bm today and it was soft as ever hopetoheal thank you! You have a restful fantastic day as well :)

Thanks so much for the comfort, Adam. I'm a naturally high-strung person, but I've never been this messed up before. I resisted taking the meds for a while until I realized I should accept any help offered. Quite a number of boardies here also took depression and anxiety meds to help them through, and I completely understand why! Public anxiety attacks are no fun at all - I've done that! :)
I'm so glad the BMs are getting better for you. It takes a while to find the right combination of food and fluid because everybody is different. It's great that you're getting that sorted. The important thing for me seems to be staying hydrated, so I drink a lot of water. I suspect you are right that the beach trip may have been a bit premature, but it's good that you figured out what you need to do to correct the problem. You're really on the ball!
There is a shopping mall about 10 minutes from my house, and you're right, weekdays are much better than weekends. I think I'd have a full-blown anxiety attack if I had to deal with major weekend crowds right now! My mom or my husband will take me and I'll go very slowly.
I can feel that I'm moving closer to joining the world again. There is less pus when I stretch the wound and things are a bit uncomfortable, but not actually painful. I can walk short distances and sit for longer periods of time. I get the odd very mild 'zinger' (there are some other posts about 'zingers' too, which are actually quite funny), but mostly it feels like the healing is happening.
I'm just a bit anxious because my next follow up is Friday and I'm dreading the possibility that the doc will say I need surgery again. So far I don't think I have any rational reason for this fear, I've just gotten so paranoid over this last year with all the ups and downs, it will probably take a while before I have faith that I'm actually ok (told ya I'm a basket case!). A good follow-up on Friday will make a HUGE difference to my state of mind.
It is really great that your state of mind is so healthy. I think that will make your recovery a breeze! It's great that you are a strong and positive person - and especially that you were smart and got your butt fixed before things got bad enough to mess you up. You did everything right and hopefully future boardies and lurkers will see that fixing butt issues asap makes a big difference to how life goes. :D
I hope you have excellent BMs and a great day. :D

Hey hopetoheal, it's really good to hear you're recovering well. Yea, those anxiety attacks really suck but you just gotta know to be confident with everything you do, we're all just as good and important as everyone else and everyone has their problems.
We both had the surgery done now, so there is no need to worry anymore! We just have to make sure we keep it clean in the ways we were told by our crs. You'll be just fine for your next follow-up. Just make sure, even if the pus stops for a while, that everytime you clean it you make sure you're spreading your cheeks as much as you can! Even if it opens the wound more, it's doing more goos than harm, until the crs tells us to stop opening it. It doesn't sound to me like you'll need another surgery at all. Now that we've both had the surgeries done once, now that we've changed our diets and have become aware of what causes this problem, we shouldn't get it again if we're careful. And even if we do, atleast we know what to do about it right away, and we won't go through weeks of pain and fear again!
Yesterday I unexpectedly had 2 bm's!! One in the morning as usual, then late at night for some reason I felt the urge. I think it was because I had too much soup lol. The bm was beautiful though - so soft like diarrhea but wasn't diarrhea lol.. I had an appointment early this morning though and was worries I wouldn't have my bm in the morning because of the one the night before. I sat on the toilet for a little before I woke up, but nothing. I was confindent to go out because there was no urge at all. I'm still at the appointment no urge.
I'm sure you'll have another follow-up after the one on Friday. It's good to know your crs cares and had you come back early to check up on you. My follow up isn't until next week. I can't wait to hear the news.
I, and I'm sure you, see the light at the end of the tunnel!
Have a great day and make sure your stretch that sucker open!

Hope,
I think it's a great idea to get out if only for a hour and feel like a normal person again:) I was almost 3 weeks post- op when I went on my first long shopping trip. I walked slow but I shopped all day with my daughter, had a decaf latte at Starbucks to end the day. I couldn't believe how good it felt to just do something so simple and to feel real again. I think even a short outing can do wonders for our state of mind!

:O Dawn! A cafe latte?! You're insane! Lol just kidding... How didthe cafe latte effect your bm may I ask?

Wow Dawn! A latte! You're very brave :) I will do my best to be confident when I go out. I know the psychological aspects of all this will take a while to deal with, but it sure helps to get so much support from the folks here!
Yeah, Adam, those unexpected BMs do kinda suck! :D I've had a few of those too, Soup would definitely do that to me lol. I'm glad you didn't have any trouble making your appointment and that your BM are generally beautiful (where else can we brag about our lovely BMs?)
I'm taking your advice and stretching the butt and keeping things clean. Some pus and blood came out this afternoon, but not a lot. I'm off to soak and stretch a bit more. Oh, I am going to be soooo happy when I don't have to torture my ass anymore! lol
i hope you both have a great evening. :D

LOL, Adam! I was about to cry when I drank that latte, haha! It had been 8 months since I had let anything but water touch my lips!! :)The BM was just fine! Since it was decaffeinated, I wasn't all that worried, but I kept up my normal water intake. I've had a tea everyday w/ caffeine since the early weeks of my surgery w/ no problems. I just drink plenty of the water too.
Oh I almost forgot-Congrats on that beautiful BM too!! Ha,ha!
Hope, It will get easier. Your recovery has been very long with getting that stupid fistula after LIS. It's just made your recovery twice as long as it should have been! That had to really take a toll on you , not to mention the traumatic experience with your LIS. You really deserve a freaking break. I think just having a fissure can cause us to go crazy w/ anxiety...LOL!
It is no wonder you need some help with the anxiety right now. Many people take anxiety meds for much less than you have dealt with. I was scared to death to take anything for fear it would have constipated me or I would have taken something w/ my fissure. The valium was a life saver for my mind as much as my spasms those first 2 weeks I used it in my recovery. You will gain confidence with each passing day as you heal. I hope the CRS's report will put your mind at ease:)
Take care! Y'all have a good night too!:)

pss...
Adam, you may enjoy this- What drove me besides pain to get my LIS was the Holidays coming up. I didn't want to miss out on all the food and Starbucks Seasonal Pumpkin Spice Latte was on my mind. That was the 1st latte I had after my surgery.