Hi Manitourose,
I see that you are a fellow New Yorker - so I just wanted to say hello (I am fairly new to the forum)!
I know how hard it is to live with anxiety disorder and the fissure intensifies the anxiety to a whole another level. I always had bad anxiety to begin with before my fissure started. In fact, I am pretty sure I got the fissure after an extremely stressful month, which led to constipation, which led to the fissure. So I get what you mean when you say you wish for peace. I always wonder what it would be like to just be at peace and calm on a daily basis without having to feel shaky and worried about something. It really affects your quality of life and drains every bit of you.
I feel my tear gets worse when I am overly stressed. My body just tenses up, which isn't good for the fissure. I try to relax, but this is way easier said than done. I always feel like it's getting better, but then I have a BM and my hope starts to dissipate. But what else can I do but hope for the best that it will slowly heal in time. The slow process is agonizing, but I hope the end game will be rewarding!!
As cheesy as it sounds, it helps to surround yourself with people you love to cope. And when there's no one, this forum has been a true comfort to me so far. Keep busy even when it's hard!
I wish I had better advice, but I too, am taking things one step at a time. It can be very discouraging when this happens. I just want to let you know I understand and you are not alone.