by TubDweller » 21 Jun 2019, 08:31
A handful of factors:
A) The pain. If an anal spasm with an active fissure was a 10/10 on the pain scale, the pain in the first week after the procedure was 9/10. For context, my fissure spasms had me uncontrollably sobbing, crawling through my house to reach the bathroom. I have a high tolerance for pain, having worked two days with a broken hand, shredded my palm while trying to open an old plate glass window, and sliced a 2” laceration into my calf with a machete, wrapped it in duct tape, and finished the job. None of those injuries caused me to miss a step, but the AF and LIS/hemorrhoidectomy recovery had me lying in my side. I will say that the surgical recovery was, overall, much easier than living with the AF. The pain was really only during and immediately after moving my bowels. Most of the time it was a tremendous sense of relief (so long as I was relaxed).
The pain before/after surgery was very different. Before surgery, the pain was sharp and shooting, with intense peaks that would stop me in my tracks. As if someone was stabbing me. It was debilitating. After surgery, the pain was (at times) dull and achy, as if someone had kicked me square in my anus. I had a lot of bruising. Passing the surgical packing was extremely difficult for me, and caused a huge hemorrhoid to swell up, but it did not clot and thrombose (thank god).
It took me two weeks to really stand and walk around. Five weeks to return to work (standing desk) for half days. And six weeks for full days. I only recently stopped feeling minor discomfort about 80% of the time.
B) The fear. I was in a constant state of fear. Fear that my stool would be firm. Fear that I was going to be incontinent. Fear that I would get an infection. Fear that my recovery would be long. I still have anxiety related to my condition, but it has gradually subsided.
C) The complications. After four months, I developed an abscess. My doctor misdiagnosed it as a hemorrhoid and sent me home with cream. The abscess burst that night, making a huge mess, and causing 10/10 pain... again. Hello anxiety. Fortunately, I felt immediate relief after it ruptured. The recovery from the abscess also lasted weeks. I'd go through cycles of reduced discomfort, and then the area would get inflamed until more discharge. There was speculation of fistula formation (I still think I have one), but I never received a diagnosis. The hole I think is a fistula is very close to my anus, so it is difficult to see. You have to pull the skin in just the right way.
C) The time. As I mentioned in the pain section, my recovery happened on a time scale of weeks, not days. Immediately after surgery, you'll have pain and mucus. Oh the mucus. Mucus for days, filling gauze pads, making you wonder if you're OK (you are). A year later and I'm now at a point where I feel unaware of my condition 90% of the time. I've learned that this could change next week, but for now, I feel great. I feel more confident in what I can eat, and going to the bathroom is anxiety free. I still occasionally have some irritation (always later in the day, not during BMs), but I think I may have some other kind of IBD going on. Maybe Crohn's, I'm not sure. I don't really want that diagnosis until I'm at a point where I *need* a solution. Right now, I know that I can't eat too much fiber, or I get inflammation. This is challenging, because all the doctors will tell you "eat more fiber, eat more fiber; bran, psyllium". Just know that you'll be responsible for figuring out your own body, and that is a hard thing to do. Our bodies aren't like calculators where you enter your inputs and get results. It can take days for your body to equalize. Just give it time and make small adjustments to figure out what's going on. If you figure something out, and you've tested it, be confident when communicating with your doctor. If your doctor doesn't listen, find another one. I had to change doctors twice. I now travel over 2 hrs to see a really great CRS (who has tons of experience) at a large hospital.
Even with all this, I would do it again. I lived for years with an AF that I did not understand. Since my LIS, moving my bowels is an easy and relaxing experience. I cannot remember a time (pre-op) where this was the case. I always had some sense of anxiety over moving my bowels because it always involved straining. The LIS changed my anatomy in a way that makes it work more normally, and that has made a huge difference, even if other aspects of the recovery sound difficult.
I wish you luck, and remember that everyone's experience is different. I've met other patients who had none of the issues I faced, and recovered fully in four weeks. You are you, not a statistic.