23, gay, fissure since October... Absolutely terrified

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23, gay, fissure since October... Absolutely terrified

Postby Newbie2727 » 21 Jan 2013, 09:16

First I just wanted to say how thankful I am that I was able to find this forum and I'm hoping this may lead to a bright and better future for me going forward, it seems like not many medical professionals know enough about this issue that I've been suffering from for so long. I must also warn that if you are uncomfortable with the topic of homosexuality then please move along.
I am a 23 years old and I got a fissure in the 12 o clock position just before my 23rd birthday. This thing used to cause me extreme pain and bleeding and although the pain has subsided for the most part, I still know its there and I still have to be especially conscientious when visiting the washroom not to let a movement pass too quickly in risk of having it reopen. I have been to the specialist twice already and have another follow up with him in 8 weeks, if it isn't completely healed then surgery will be on the list.
I have changed my diet to include lots of fibre and tons of water and for the most part it has helped, I haven't had any pain for over a week and a half an I was really beginning to feel normal again... After this weekend and some bad food choices I can feel that pain returning ever so slightly and now I'm just waiting for it to let me know that HEY, shag you!! I've reopened again and there is nothing you can do about it!!!
During this time, around the same time I got this fissure I started seeing a guy and anal sex has come up in conversation but we have yet to do anything because of this condition I'm facing. I feel like this is a roadblock in my relationship and I'm scared of where things will end up if I don't heal...if anal sex wasnt already a big enough burden to deal with, I now have this fissure that just doesn't seem to want to go away! I was thinking that once I healer I could start introducing small butt plugs to use myself for the purpose of stretching my anus so the act of anal sex wouldn't be so painful he first time, but now with this fissure I'm scared to do anything in fear that it will just reopen!!!
After reading some of the posts and some of you poor people who have been suffering with it for years, I don't know how you do it, I feel like I'm losing hope and this thing is stopping me from living a normal life, you all know how frustrating it is I'm sure!
Any other gay fissure sufferers out there? Is there a light at the end of this tunnel? Do you advise surgery dilate the anus?
So lost on this issue I just want it to go away :(
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Re: 23, gay, fissure since October... Absolutely terrified

Postby owmybum » 21 Jan 2013, 15:10

Hi newbie2727,
I would advise you to get a referral from your dr to see a proper colo-rectal specialist. They will be able to check you over and see what is going on down there.
You sound like you are doing all the right things for now with diet and drinking plenty of fluids.
I can appreciate this has really affected your quality of life and who you are.
Hang on in there, you sound like you have a supportive boyfriend who isn't pushing you for anal sex whilst you are so sore.. That's great!
Keep us posted
OMB x
fissure after hem banding and tag removal feb 11
Pelvic floor therapy
Diltiazem
Botox June 13
Nitro
Internal flap July 14
EUA and polyps removed Nov 14
Diagnosed with neuropathy Jan 15
Diagnosed with HS EDS type 3 (causes poor wound healing )
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Re: 23, gay, fissure since October... Absolutely terrified

Postby Newbie2727 » 23 Jan 2013, 21:53

Thanks to those offering support. After almost 4 months of suffering with this fissure I think I found a solution that may work. I got prescribed a nitroglycerin ointment that I apply to the area, and it apparently dialates all the blood vessels in the area, allowing an increase blood flow to the area to heal the cut faster. After 3 days it feels like its not even there anymore! Ill be seeing my specialist in 5/6 weeks time and I am going to continue with this ointment until the day I see him. Oh I am just hoping to god it doesnt open again and he gives me the go ahead to live my life...
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Re: 23, gay, fissure since October... Absolutely terrified

Postby delasama » 23 Jan 2013, 22:03

did he give you any stool softeners or recomend certain foods? im still waiting on a referal to see a gi specialist
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Re: 23, gay, fissure since October... Absolutely terrified

Postby Newbie2727 » 23 Jan 2013, 22:07

He did but I stopped taking them after 15 days. I dont want to get used to them
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Re: 23, gay, fissure since October... Absolutely terrified

Postby delasama » 23 Jan 2013, 22:12

thats smart. there are too many natural foods that get stuff moving to have to take medicines
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Re: 23, gay, fissure since October... Absolutely terrified

Postby PIA » 24 Jan 2013, 00:03

:roll: Hi Newbie, I think you need to use what works best for you. We are all a little different in the way our gut works. The most important thing is to get some consistency with soft regular BM ideally once a day. Some people on this forum feel the need to take stool softeners every day to achieve this others don't. You need to find what works for you. It can be very disheartening to have all your hard work go down the toilet so to speak with a Constipated BM. I for one know that if I change my enviroment, I need to be proactive and add a laxative to my night program. Travel and change means constipation for me sure as the sun comes up. Prevention will aid the cure.Learn to pay attention to what YOUR body is telling you and work with the things you have learned. Great that the cream is working for you.XXPia Image
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Re: 23, gay, fissure since October... Absolutely terrified

Postby jr2 » 24 Jan 2013, 00:44

PIA has given really good advice. Everyone is different. If you can heal your fissure and keep it healed with nitroglycerin alone, that is the best news for you. However, keep in mind that relapses with fissures are very very common. This is because the area is very fragile, like tissue paper, and one bowel movement that is just a little too thick or a little too hard will set you back to square one. Many people who have had their fissures for longer periods of time find that diet and topicals are simply not enough, and a stool softener is needed.
Also keep in mind that once a person has had a fissure, they are at increased risk for developing fissures in the future, so it is really important to keep up with regular, easy-to-pass bowel movements and a healthy diet on a permanent basis.
Good luck with your healing! It is great to hear you are feeling better!
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No need for Homonegativity Delasama!

Postby Ouch-Oz » 28 Jan 2013, 03:47

delasama wrote:u need to keep soft diet and do what doctor tells you.organic unrefined virgin coconut oil is a natural anti inflamatory and helps lube inside anal area before bm.you shouldnt put objects in your bum. thats what girls are for Image

Buddy ignore Delasama...Anal sex can occur once you have healed.
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Re: 23, gay, fissure since October... Absolutely terrified

Postby Ouch-Oz » 28 Jan 2013, 03:51

Hi buddy,
Thank you for sharing your story. I am new here also. We have similar stories.
I am so glad that the cream is working for you! Unfortunately I am at a loss as the cream is not working for me.
With regards to you relationship...I sympathise. You are certainly not alone in that situation. I am in a relationship but have been dealing with my fissure since we started dating. We are now living together and have for a year...I have been unable to be a btm the whole relationship. But the key is we talk about it and discuss it with each other. We are a bit older (i'm 32) and I guess these things become easier to talk about as you get older (he is 48). But have a go talking to him I am sure he will understand. And as I said above, once you are all back to normal there is no problem having a try again, slowly and of course with plenty of lube.
Hope this helps.
best of luck!
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