Sooo, I am back !! Some of you know my story, I had posted my AF journal here in the forum.
I am back because I am getting the recurring bad days and need advice from people of experience to take my final decision whether to go ahead for LIS or not. Thank you so much to Grateful Al, Bambi and BillUltra for giving me strength and hope.
Quick summary: I got the fissure 4.5 months back ( I hate how this number increases every time I write about this somewhere

Now:
After 2 weeks of my "Success story" post (oh, how naive I was !), I am still here, so you guessed it right ! After strictly following my fissure diet for a month, I slowly started incorporating small quantities of 'normal' (still soft) food into my diet, and my old friend is not liking that. I have had set backs 3-4 times after that post, nothing major, a max of may be 2 out of 10, that too only during the BM and nothing after that. So, the main reason I am here is to get the opinion/advice from people of experience in taking my final decision of how to put an end to this episode of my life. I WANT TO EAT (sorry for the yelling .. )
I consulted my CR at the beginning of this month, she is a very experienced surgeon (45 years experience) and she suggests that I have the surgery to tackle this for once and forever. But, she had suggested the same when my pain level was 6. The thing is, I feel so proud of myself being able to bring down the pain to this level and being able to have continuous pain-free weeks (provided I keep my fissure diet). BUTTTTTTT, my biggest concern now is that I cannot continue to live on this minimal fissure diet any more.
Questions regarding surgery:
1. Can any of you (who already had lis) please describe the exact nature of the LIS external cut ? I am slightly confused. Where does it start, where does it end , how long and in which direction of the anal dial ? or does the position differ according to the position of the fissure ? does it end at the anal opening or is it slightly away from the opening ?
2. I currently use coc oil suppositories before BM. After surgery, did you use any suppositories/oil pre-BM ? Or, did you apply Vasiline/coc oil at the opening to make cleaning easier ? Are we not supposed to do that after surgery ?
3. What did you use to clean the area after surgery ? soap/lotion/savlon etc ? I use unscented female cleanser now - can i continue that on the fresh surgery site ?
4. I read about using ice packs and hot packs post surgery. Can any of you please explain how to use them on that area ? I mean using both on that tender area really scares me !
5. I am a Yoga Instructor. How long do you think I should wait after LIS to get back comfortably to such advanced stretching routines ?
Questions specifically to women (sorry men readers!):
6. I haven't had babies yet. Me and my husband were planning to start a family right when this lightning hit me ! My main priority (or should I say dream?) at this point in my life is to be able to be healthy enough to conceive, carry and deliver naturally. What do you all think about my situation ? (especially you mommys out there). I am sure you can understand my woman "hormones" talking. My CR says, if that is my plan, I should not prolong the surgery any longer. She says, eventhough, you feel that you are healed, it will come back when you are pregnant due to the preg-constipations and she cannot perform surgery on a pregnant woman. She tells me that I can try to conceive as early as 3 months post-LIS. Do you think that is possible ? How long do you think it is better to wait to try post-lis ? (I know it is different for person to person, but would love to hear from people of experience). My fear is, will the weak anus post-lis be able to survive the trauma of natural child birth ? Half of me says, wait, you will feel better all by yourself. But then the other half stares at me and says dont listen to your stupid half ! (I know AF can lead to madness ?)
7. Post surgery, during the first periods, do we strictly have to use tampons to avoid infection from the period blood ? Or, are the sanitary pads better ?
I have my next CR visit at the end of this month, and she said come only after deciding on surgery, meaning like a pre-surgery visit. So, I am using these weeks to weigh in my options. I know I have suffered enough, this is the fifth month, but thankfully, the progress so far has been very good. At this point, I really am lost about what to do. On the bright side, for the first time during the journey, I am mentally prepared for the surgery, but waking up every morning with my fingers crossed. I really want to avoid lis, if you ask me (but who woudn't?)
I know you guys will not judge me or anything. Honestly, I was telling my hus the other day that this forum is my new facebook !!! I am socially inactive for several months now (yeah, as if they would hit "like" button for my daily fissure concerns and poop stories , phew ! ). So tell me guys, I need your Opinions and thoughts. I truly remember all of you in my daily prayers.. Hoping for big happy smiles on all our faces. THOSE days will come for sure ... I am optimistic.

- Angel