Hello, young gay male here, let me enlighten you. I'd advise anyone who’s against homosexuals not read this post. However anyone considering anal dilation might find some of tis useful.
Right, I had my fissure before I ever had anal sex, however it likes to heal and come back at random times, generally with constipation. I have ripped previously from anal sex, the first guy I was with was also a virgin and I bled afterwards quite heavily. However This did not result in me having a fissure episode. I've had sex without having my fissure act up as well, as little as a month after an episode, and we should all know a month after healing you're still VERY liable to rip again.
I also know of several other gay guys who’ve suffered from fissures through my best friend in whom I’ve confided, It's not a common problem though as one might assume.
A lot of stuff I’ve read online about fissures and anal dilation in particular seems to read like "All these small BM's I’ve been having have lead me to have a small hole, so any big BM will rip the skin" . It's simply not true. Learning to relax is one thing that I think has helped me heal much faster. I'd also attribute anal sex ts self to aiding in healing any breaking that occurs, more blood flow, widening of the anus would also help the next day or two's BM's to pass without doing more damage.
Hell even I guess my perspective to some simple things like applying medicine differ from those who have hang-ups about their rear end. If i try to apply my Rectogesic as normal it's tight, it hurts like hell. Rubbing beforehand however lets the blood flow and relaxes the muscle allowing me to apply the cream without any trouble and really helps reduce the pain at the same time! It also can’t hurt for me to have a more positive outlook on matters of the rear end helping me relax emotionally more.
What Workingonit said about enemas may help. I've not tried them to help in the healing process, but right now I am getting the feeling that the itch symptoms may come more from contaminates irritating the wound than the tearing does. An enema would clear the debris out. After all we all strive for a soft BM, however a soft BM does leave behind a lot more than a firmer stool does.
So don't envy those that enjoy anal sex without issues (because believe me to not have any pain/problems it takes a lot of work), at least you're not getting depressed because of personal reasons on top of just having AF pain

I apologise if I’ve made anyone uncomfortable with this post, I kind of went on a bit, quite theraputic though. I just think I have a unique perspective on some matters than others.