Anal Sex?

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Anal Sex?

Postby ButtHurtBurt » 01 Mar 2012, 13:40

I have never seen a post here about the topic but am intrigued to know the consensus. I find it fascinating that someone who can be violated on a regular basis has no signs of fissure, where we have a little corn and a 10 gram of fiber day and are split up the middle. Is it possible that they are just working out their rectum and we are the ones doing it wrong?
I am jealous in a weird way, albeit more like a hemophiliac would be jealous of a cutter. Does anyone on the board partake in this exercise and just grin and bear it, or is this about as pleasant a thought of passing a movement after a week of constipation?
On a lighter note I am 2.5 weeks blood free, which is the first time in 6 years. My personal best before coming across this site was 48 hours, and I 100% attribute my success to MiraLAX. I hope you all find that one thing that improves your quality of life. Keep posting and keep smiling :D
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Re: Anal Sex?

Postby workingonit » 01 Mar 2012, 14:48

There's a guy who used to post on the yahoo af group his thoughts about anal hygiene. He figures the problem is society and it's taboo on anything anal. If we all gave our lower orifice half the attention we gave our mouths...
He was one of the first I read about doing self anal dilation to get rid of his af. He also liked to do regular enimas, which I don't know if that would truly be helpful. But for those of us who are perhaps a little 'small' or maybe we hold too much tension there, maybe self dilation is the answer. Keeping the muscle stretched...
It's something I keep coming back to anyways.
-Tanya
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Re: Anal Sex?

Postby Rallire » 02 Mar 2012, 12:39

Hello, young gay male here, let me enlighten you. I'd advise anyone who’s against homosexuals not read this post. However anyone considering anal dilation might find some of tis useful.
Right, I had my fissure before I ever had anal sex, however it likes to heal and come back at random times, generally with constipation. I have ripped previously from anal sex, the first guy I was with was also a virgin and I bled afterwards quite heavily. However This did not result in me having a fissure episode. I've had sex without having my fissure act up as well, as little as a month after an episode, and we should all know a month after healing you're still VERY liable to rip again.
I also know of several other gay guys who’ve suffered from fissures through my best friend in whom I’ve confided, It's not a common problem though as one might assume.
A lot of stuff I’ve read online about fissures and anal dilation in particular seems to read like "All these small BM's I’ve been having have lead me to have a small hole, so any big BM will rip the skin" . It's simply not true. Learning to relax is one thing that I think has helped me heal much faster. I'd also attribute anal sex ts self to aiding in healing any breaking that occurs, more blood flow, widening of the anus would also help the next day or two's BM's to pass without doing more damage.
Hell even I guess my perspective to some simple things like applying medicine differ from those who have hang-ups about their rear end. If i try to apply my Rectogesic as normal it's tight, it hurts like hell. Rubbing beforehand however lets the blood flow and relaxes the muscle allowing me to apply the cream without any trouble and really helps reduce the pain at the same time! It also can’t hurt for me to have a more positive outlook on matters of the rear end helping me relax emotionally more.
What Workingonit said about enemas may help. I've not tried them to help in the healing process, but right now I am getting the feeling that the itch symptoms may come more from contaminates irritating the wound than the tearing does. An enema would clear the debris out. After all we all strive for a soft BM, however a soft BM does leave behind a lot more than a firmer stool does.
So don't envy those that enjoy anal sex without issues (because believe me to not have any pain/problems it takes a lot of work), at least you're not getting depressed because of personal reasons on top of just having AF pain Image
I apologise if I’ve made anyone uncomfortable with this post, I kind of went on a bit, quite theraputic though. I just think I have a unique perspective on some matters than others.
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Re: Anal Sex?

Postby ButtHurtBurt » 02 Mar 2012, 13:50

Wow, I wasn't expecting an answer, but that was a great response. In my mind I imagined a non stop bloodbath with regular penetration, but am surprised and happy that it's not doing any more of a disservice than a tough movement.
Remember there are always people much worse off than you and the fact the you have an internet connection and an active sex-life puts you in the top 1% . Hope sunnier days are ahead and you heal up quickly!
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Re: Anal Sex?

Postby workingonit » 02 Mar 2012, 15:28

Hi Rallire,
Thanks so much for your insight!
so you're saying that self dilation (and anal sex) might help because it helps to relax things down there. And not because it is making things stretch out more?
Or a bit of both?
Sorry personal issues are getting you down too. :(
May I ask what kind of lubricant you use?
I am thinking of self dilation, and was thinking coconut oil might be good...
-Tanya
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Re: Anal Sex?

Postby Rallire » 02 Mar 2012, 16:24

Right same rules as my last post, but this is going to be a bit more graphic so again, if you dislike me mentioning these things disregard this post.
During sex if any damage is incurred the muscles close up FAST. The best thing to do is to leave anything in there, in there, pulling out will always damage so if anyone’s applying oils or creams, leave it in there and try to relax, It's possible to train the internal muscles somewhat to relax as well with a finger up there, I pretty much try that constantly during a BM.
As for relaxing thins down there, it's a hard call, the muscles can stretch to accommodate a fist, it doesn’t require loads of stretching over years like a piercing does or anything like that. It does much the same thing a vagina does during child birth, if the muscles relax completely they will stretch an insane amount. You can relax the area by massaging it, that generally makes it more accepting to a lubricated finger, but once in pulling on the wall (not where you have the fissure opposite side) will gently stretch the anus just a bit, and while the effect will die down fairly fast from just a small stretch (and the short duration), but if you did this before a BM it will have pretty much pre loosened things.
I'm still not 100% sure on anal dilation but i know that if someone keeps a butt plug or dilator (I’ve seen the same items branded as both names) in there for long periods every day it can make the anus more accommodating to faster stretching like during a BM. I have the same "dilators" as someone on here, though bought for a different reason heh, they were having problems with the small one, but if they warm up the area, then gently stretch with a finger I don’t see why the smaller ones wouldn’t be able to be used off the bat with anyone, but the same thing with anal sex is, the person MUST MUST MUST relax, if they're too scared of the pain they will do more harm than good (and if anyone has fingernails they have to go and use a finger cot as well just makes it so much easier)
As for lubricant, I'd say use something specifically for sex, if you're going to go up there use something designed for the job essentially, coconut oil can be applied topically for healing and moisturising but anal lubricant has a certain, I'm not sure, texture or something that makes it very good for the job. I'm tempted to try coconut oil 3 times a day as well but probably applying it after dilation.
I guess I'm in a bad boat thanks to the AF's, I never started dating or anything till I was 23 a year ago, so I have so many hang-ups about having missed out and no one wanting me. Throw AF's into the mix and I can empathise with someone just finding out the have HIV thinking they're never going to have a sex life.
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Re: Anal Sex?

Postby workingonit » 02 Mar 2012, 18:05

You know the vagina has stretching limits too, as I found out 9 years ago. In fact, my espisiotomy scar tends to become less elastic if I don't have sex with my hubby regularly. (sorry TMI)
I mentioned the coconut because I had read about post menopausal women using it as a vaginal lubricant.
You're still very young. Don't get too down. it will slow down your healing! :)
-Tanya
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Re: Anal Sex?

Postby Rallire » 02 Mar 2012, 18:14

Well you can give the oil a go, I've heard that its fairly easily absorbed into the skin so I'd advise using a lot of the stuff, just keep an eye on how much has been absorbed as the oil on the dilator inside will absorb much faster than the oil around the dilator and the sphincter and you don’t want it coming out without enough lube!
And don’t worry about the TMI, I passed that bridge then blew it up Image You're right though, anal sex is somewhat similar which is why anal dilation works, muscles take longer to go back to a fully tensed state so relaxing them and the skin around will help and also allow more blood to flow as its not being squeezed as much. I assume there may also be some form of muscle memory at play too.
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Re: Anal Sex?

Postby workingonit » 02 Mar 2012, 18:47

Good point about the coconut oil. I was using it on my lips for a while and it does absorb pretty readily.
Some people on another forum used olive oil mixed with 1/4 vitamin e oil. Sounds so messy though.
Is a silicone based lubricant better? I've read they are thicker consistency. Something else to buy I guess.
I gotta say, I have quite the cabinet of creams and stuff now! lol
-Tanya
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Re: Anal Sex?

Postby Rallire » 02 Mar 2012, 19:03

Silicone from what I remember off the top of my head is the type of stuff that never dries and requires clean up to remove, Normally that’s not nice but for a AF idk it might be nice and ease the next BM by keeping it all lubricated heh.
They make a lube in the UK called anal ease, it is a water based lube and has a numbing agent, I can see that being excellent for use dilating with AF, I might check with my GP about using it with the potential for mixing with blood, though I'd assume give bleeding can be a occurrence in anal sex it's already safe.
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