by happyass » 15 Jan 2008, 10:44
hi juney.
what concerns me is that you are having liquid BMs. and the goal is to have like oatmeal soft to semi-soft but formed stools. i know what works to keep the pain away is best, but having liquid BMs in itself is not something to aim for forever.
i think as you strive to be less tight down there and have all sorts of expectations - which yes, after having surgeries and doing certain things, it would be normal to have expectations so that's not the problem - but when you get stressed out or very disappointed in not having those expectations met, your body takes that in and reacts - perhaps it does by tightening all your muscles including your sphincter, so there is a rigidness.
talking about rigidity as well, you may want to find ways to undo that for yourself. i know you have been dealing with this for a long time (as i had been dealing with it for about 44 months or so) so yes i can feel your frustration.
but stepping back from everything that you have done so far juney and with what you are feeling today, i wonder if there is anything your body can tell you that will resonate with a different plan of action?
i know we all tend to say we've tried everything but in reality we haven't. and perhaps you still have not found a way to deal with everything on your plate that is making your condition more of a long term challenge than you want.
maybe this isn't even fissure related although that is where all the stress and residue of your issues are ending up in - your tight sphincter which then produces other difficult daily functions and just day to day satisfaction.
i just hope i can encourage you to step back for a bit and look at the big picture and maybe quiet down the disappointed, the disillusioned, the stressed, the uncomfortable juney for a bit and see if your body will tell you something else.
i know this all sounds mumbo jumbo but i feel that you must look for a new direction and see what other issues in your life are not being resolved.
as far as sticking fingers up the butt, especially when there is a problem present, it would probably be best not to since you risk undoing the healing by reopening or disturbing the irritation.
i am not sure if you are squatting or if you can try, but i would recommend that along with some yoga (get some dvds by yoga journal or gaiam) and macrobiotics. (i just don't remember if you have IBS or Crohns juney).
i also picked up the following books:
if the buddha came for dinner
the rice diet solution
the rice diet solution cookbook
you can have all 3 for like $26 and free shipping on amazon.com.
the rice diet solution seems to be in line with macrobiotics so it was a good way for me to explore other approaches in eating healthy. the buddha came to dinner also helps you identify with ways in which you nourish your spirit along with your body for a healthy life.