Beyond desperate

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Beyond desperate

Postby K1988 » 21 Mar 2013, 12:37

So first of all please don't judge me, as the title states I am beyond desperate and am only sharing all of this info to try and get help otherwise I see no way of carrying on with my life. I am a 24 year old female and my problems first started about 5 years ago after having anal intercourse (biggest mistake of my life). It first started off with a hemarrhoid, which didnt bother me too much and didnt cause me any problems for 3 years. Stupidly I carried on having anal sex and one day 2 years ago now I knew something was not right after. When I looked with a mirror the only way I can describe it is the skin had split all across the top, when I say split I don't mean a fissure or a cut, it's like the skin has given way. Since then I have suffered with a recurring fissure. However even when the fissure has healed Whenever i go for a BM everything looks normal for about 10 minutes, but after those 10 minutes is when it gets bad. Its as if it relaxes too much and where the skin has split that area swells and feels extremely uncomfortable. Having a shower, bath or even just standing makes it flare up. I have seen 6 doctors, including 2 CRS and they don't understand how I can be in so much discomfort 24/7. I've been prescribed ointments, suppositories, creams, laxatives, everything but nothing has helped. I have also completely changed my diet but again seen no real improvement. I am in complete despair, this is ruining my life and I just can't see any way to go on anymore.
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Re: Beyond desperate

Postby hopefulbutt » 21 Mar 2013, 13:31

K1988, no one is here to judge anyone. We are all in the same boat. Do you mean that you have a skin tag? Or does the fissure area actually keep hurting even though it's healed? (sorry I am just trying to understand).
Don't give up! I've been to 3 different CRS and none truly have me figured out either.
Sorry, but can you explain a little more for others to help you? Does the CRS say you are tight at all? Is the pain external or internal? Is it red and swollen? May sound strange, but have you seen a dermatologist? If it is external and healed, they might be able to help you.
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Re: Beyond desperate

Postby hopefulbutt » 21 Mar 2013, 13:33

it sounds like you are not "too relaxed" but probably "too tight"
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Re: Beyond desperate

Postby K1988 » 21 Mar 2013, 13:52

Thank you for responding. No I don't have a skin tag, I'm not entirely sure how to describe it...at the 12 o'clock position it's as if the outside skin has come away exposing what should be inside (sounds horrendous and it really is). When the fissure has healed in this area either side of where it was swells. It's not painful just extremely uncomfortable. However when the fissure is present I will be in pain all day and the area swells even more so than usual. The pain is external and when it is really bad is a dark red or sometimes almost purple colour. The CRS didn't mention that I was tight, I'm more worried I'm too loose as sometimes when I use the toilet it feels a bit wet and when I have looked in the mirror it looks more open than it should (I really do apologise for the detail). And thank you again for responding.
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Re: Beyond desperate

Postby hopefulbutt » 21 Mar 2013, 14:00

K1988, don't be embarassed about telling how it looks. I regularly look at my poo and my butt. It's just how it is for now. It sounds like the CRS should be able to see whats going on. It's crazy that he/she hasn't taken you seriously. Is it possible for you to try a different CRS? Can they stitch it up? It sounds like you have a fissure that keeps opening and then healing. The CRS need to see it when it is open. Are you in usa?
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Re: Beyond desperate

Postby K1988 » 21 Mar 2013, 14:07

The first CRS I saw was completely unhelpful, just told me it was something I had to live with. The second one I paid to see private and he really did try his best to listen and to help but it seems no doctor has seen what is wrong with me before. He could see I had a fissure but couldn't see why the surrounding area was causing me so much discomfort when the fissure had healed. I live in the UK. I am at a complete loss at what to do now.
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Re: Beyond desperate

Postby hopefulbutt » 21 Mar 2013, 14:11

I'm sorry for your pain. I can understand. My first Crs said my fissure was healing and I may be in pain for few years and basically he wasn't going to help me. Please don't give up. I believe God made our bodies to be able to heal. Have you tried an antifungal cream? I haven't but I've heard some people have success with it. Does it hurt to have bm? Mine hurts worst right after and then all day. Are u takin miralax? I think in uk called movicol? I take it every day and many others do too. It does help many of us.
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Re: Beyond desperate

Postby K1988 » 21 Mar 2013, 14:18

I'm very sorry for you too but I'm so glad I'm finally talking to someone who knows what I'm going through. No I haven't but I have read some people have found it helps so may give it a go, I'm prepared to try anything at this point. I don't get too much pain actually having a BM, it's just after and then for the rest of the day even if I pass a soft stool. No I'm not taking that, I have tried fybogel, I don't know if that's at all similar?
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Re: Beyond desperate

Postby owmybum » 21 Mar 2013, 14:21

Hi K1988, and welcome to the board.
No body here will judge... Like hopeful said, we are all in the same boat.
Do you think you could be stretched, and prolapsing a bit? That might explain why it looks like the inside.
It's very hard to say... But I would ask for another referral to a different crs at a different hospital. You would have to ask your dr to do this.
I'm so sorry you are left to struggle on with this.. No one could possibly understand the level of pain and anxiety a troublesome butt brings!
OMB xx
fissure after hem banding and tag removal feb 11
Pelvic floor therapy
Diltiazem
Botox June 13
Nitro
Internal flap July 14
EUA and polyps removed Nov 14
Diagnosed with neuropathy Jan 15
Diagnosed with HS EDS type 3 (causes poor wound healing )
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Re: Beyond desperate

Postby Rachael 1984 » 21 Mar 2013, 14:29

Hi K1988, Sorry you are suffering. We are all in this together. Support, support. Fybogel is fibre to bulk up stools. Be careful, this made my stools bigger and caused more damage. I take movicol now which is a stool softener. You will need this to make passing BM easier. It draws water to the bowel.
I would get another CRS opinion, you need to get some real answers. Xx
Last edited by Rachael 1984 on 21 Mar 2013, 14:30, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Typo
Hem Banding sept 2012
2Fissures
Nitro- Effective short term
April 2013-Botox-Effective short term
Diltazem-No effect, developed Rash
July 2014-Diagnosed High Resting Pressure
LIS performed on 17.9.14
Ongoing pain/re-tears. Awaiting pressure test results.
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