I've been wanting to write my story for a while, but didn't want to do so until I was sure that things were improving. I'm pleased to say that after approximately 17 months, they are.

My anal fissure pain started in October 2014. I made numerous GP visits and was misdiagnosed and given haemorrhoid treatment. On a pain scale of 1 = low, and 10 = please just kill me now!!, I was easily a 12!

I didn't know what was causing the pain and thought the worst, so arranged to see a private consultant. He tried to investigate and I screamed the place down but he was at least able to tell me that it was not life threatening, and that it was an anal fissure. I'd never heard of this before. I thought, what is this? I'm healthy, I exercise, I eat a mostly healthy diet!

I then returned to my GP, was referred to the hospital, had to wait a couple of months in pain before having the botox treatment. (I was told that LIS wasn't an option at my hospital). Meanwhile I was prescribed GTN ointment but I had some dramatic side effects with this and had to stop usage.

I was told there'd be no pain after the operation as there'd be enough anaesthetic in my body. That was not true. After a few hours of excruciating agony, and a few doses of morphine, the pain eventually subsided enough to go home. I lay in bed for 2 days eating soup and drinking lots of water. I was terrified of my first BM. I starting using laxatives to help, as I didn't go for 2 days (I normally go once or twice a day). Anyway, the inevitable happened and although it was very uncomfortable, it wasn't as bad as expected.

Eventually after around 6 weeks the pain gradually reduced, but was not eliminated. I could at least return to work after being off for 3 months. 3 months after the operation I returned to the hospital for a follow up appointment. I explained that the pain was still intense at times, and was always present at least at a low level. I was told to be patient and that the problem would heal.

I gave it a year and still wasn't without pain. There was always post BM pain for a few hours. I went back to the GP, was referred again to the hospital. I was prescribed Diltiazem which I've just started using and can already start to feel improvements. If after 6 weeks of this treatment I'm still not completely pain free I'll be offered another botox injection and fissurectomy. I'm really hoping the Diltiezem will finally solve it and that I don't have to experience that awful pain again.

To anyone out there, rolling around on the floor with unimaginable pain, with no quality of life, not able to think, with the relentless and unforgiving agony which infiltrates your entire body even at rest... it will get better with time. Also, if you have a caring partner like I do, this will be a God send, practically and emotionally.

I had to take control. Things I've done to help are:

-Reading this forum for advice

-Lots of fruit and veg (home-made soups were a good way to get the fibre intake)

-2 to 3 litres of water a day

-Eat an even healthier diet, and cut out added sugar (mainly because I was eating too many biscuits while on my sick bed!) btw, cutting out added sugar is hard for the first month but then the cravings reduce and all is okay.

-Do exercise, even though the fissure pain would slow me down, I just rest up a little and carry on

-Vitamins and minerals (Vit c 1000ml dissolvable tabs, Zinc, Magnesium, L Glutamine, Glucosomine and MSM Complex, fish oil)

-Twice a day used coconut oil in affected area for pain relief (it seemed to help somehow - though I wouldn't say it's a cure)

-Later twice a day used Vaseline in affected area as a barrier cream to keep dirt out of fissure (though didn't have any pain reducing effect)

-I tried Wheatgrass cream - this had zero effect on me.

-Also, importantly, I relax when doing a BM, and elevate the feet while doing so to put my bowels in a better position to pass stools.

I think my fissure came as a result of years of IBS resulting in over a decade of very runny / loose BMs around 4 times a day. This overuse, I think, was the culprit. I'd also push when on the loo so I had to relearn how to poop, and train my body to go only once a day in the morning. Sometimes now it's two, but less painful an experience.

I'm still not out of the woods yet, but the pain is no longer anything more than a 1 or 2 which I can cope with. Hopefully at some point in the near future it will be completely gone, but at least now life is looking a little rosier.

Finally, I know there's little room for humour with this condition, but a while ago I found this, and it spoke to me https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D4l9i2yPJDk. Enjoy!

Thanks for this - although I'll never be able to hear that song again without wincing!
I've got investigation and botox lined up for next week so I'm trying to absorb positive vibes from this forum.
Hope you continue to improve ombh

Good luck with your investigation and botox, brokenbottom!

You'll hopefully be so much better soon after the event. Tell the nurses to have some morphine at the ready, just in case. I remember they gave me paracetamol and ibuprofen after the op. What a joke. Only morphine worked for me. You may be luckier that me though and hopefully it won't be so bad.

Have patience and good luck! Let me know how it goes.

Thanks ombh! Will do.