After 2 1/2 mths. of dealing with this AF - and varying pain levels - I'm so, sooo tired of this.
I thought I might have started to turn the corner -- and today, I didn't feel too bad. The pain level was (that's right, WAS) at about a 1-2, and the only thing I noticed was a bit of itching and a "buzzing" feeling, like a small electrical current was hooked up to my anal area.
I've been using different ointments/creams - and lately, I've been applying an OTC triple-antibiotic ointment, which seems similar to Vaseline, only it has the antibiotic blend in it - which I've heard can help with the healing.
Okay - so, because I was itching a bit, I wiped off the antibiotic ointment and applied the prescription hydrocortizone/pramoxine (?) cream (a thick, white cream) that one of my cr's prescribed. Not long after that, things started to burn! I'm thinking that this cream caused that, but I'm not sure.
I'm soooo discouraged. I just want my AF to heal. I'm carefully watching my diet, and I've tried the various creams/ointments (including nitro/lido), to see what might work best.
Tonight it's occurred to me that I might never get better. Of course, I keep hoping I will, but I don't know . . . it's been nearly 3 months of this torture, and I still haven't healed. --- Right now, it feels like I'll never get my life back. I just want to cry and crawl in a hole . . .
BTW, on Tuesday I have an appointment to see one of my crs, again. I was hoping this AF would have been much better by now, so I wouldn't have to go in. I don't want to have surgery - I just want to heal . . . but that hasn't happened, yet . . . and I have my doubts . . .
I would appreciate any and all suggestions or comments.

hi sweet, i was just like you before! if you have rated your pain at only 1-2 on a scale of 10, you probably should count yourself lucky! When i first got my fissure 8 months ago, it was a whooping 9 on a pain scale for a week, how i survived through it is really God's grace and nothing else. And to think that those pain killers like paracetamol didn't help me at all. I was on a rollercoaster ride of healing and retearing for a whooping 4 months before it started to heal on the 5th month onwards was TRULY AGAIN GOD"S MERCY.
There is light at the end of the tunnel. Like you, i avoided surgery, left it as the last resort.
Take a look at this thread "my success story" for some healing ideas. Pls bear in mind that healing varies on individual's severity of the fissure, some if not most do need LIS to correct their chronic fissure.

Hi Sweets….if you are even thinking about surgery, do yourself a big favor and look at my several past threads. I was there…. many times I could not even walk, then a week later I was at a 2 to be back at a 9 the following week. I was all set to have an LIS till and then I found this type of AD . I do not know why anyone who subject themselves to an LIS if they can find a CRS who performs this.
http://anal-fissure.org/t4104-my-standardized-anal-dilatation-this-morning

I have to say that I totally disagree with dwarfs statement. Speak with any CRS and the fact is once your fissure become chronic and it has been ongoing and you have healed and re-torn a few times there is a very small chance that it will heal totally. Yes, it can go dormant for a while. However look at many of the post from others who they healed or thought they did and 6 months to a year later they are right back to where they were. I went from a 9 to a 2 for months and then right back to a 9. I am not saying its not possible, however I believe that research clearly shows that in a majority of people its not possible, again especially if you have re-torn a few times. Also, I would rather not live on mostly veggies, spend my life soaking in a tub, not being able to have a glass of wine or living life to the fullest…but with that said, thats just me....

First of all, thank you to dwarfs and wecc for your replies. As you both know, this condition can make a person feel very isolated, because the people around us (who don't go through this) have no idea what this misery is like. --- I very much appreciate being able to post here and have people try to encourage me and help me. So, thank you - and also thanks to anyone else who replies.
dwarfs -- I started out as an 11 on the scale, and that was this past October. My first AF battle was 3 1/2 yrs. ago, and after a couple of months' worth of using nitro/lido ointment, along with Fiber One in the a.m., I healed. However, this past Oct., seemingly suddenly, I guess I re-tore that area. I'm guessing it's the old AF from 3 years ago, but I'm not sure. Anyhow, two crs saw me - one didn't see anything (but he's the guy who treated me 3 yrs. ago!), and the second cr said I have an AF, and he prescribed the hydrocortisone cream and said to come back in 4-6 wks, if I was still having problems. --- Anyhow, I haven't gone back, yet, because I've felt I've needed more time to heal. Plus, I didn't really start radically changing my diet until after Christmas. --- My point is that the pain in October was out the roof! Now, the pain is down - but I want it to go away, of course.
So, dwarfs, thank you for your encouragement. It helps to know that an AF possibly can heal after several months, given enough time.
wecc - I very much appreciate your information, too. I'm on the west coast - and I have no idea whom I'd see for the type of procedure you had. However, I absolutely do NOT want LIS - so, I would be willing to look into your type of AD, if I get to that point (I hope I don't, but it's nice to have options). I'm really glad to know of this procedure, because I hadn't heard of it before.
I'd like to mention that neither of my crs has told me to change my diet -- they only mentioned adding fiber (one cr recommended Fiber One, and the other cr recommended Konsyl). It seems that, at least for me, adding fiber is not enough - I had already been doing that after my episode from 3 1/2 yrs. ago. I really think that changing one's diet, along with the right supplements, is very important.
That said, I appreciate everyone's comments. There are times I just want to throw in the towel. It has really been a battle, just to try to keep myself going. So, I TRULY appreciate everyone's responses and encouragement. --- You fellow sufferers are the only ones who can understand what having an AF does to a person's life.

Besides the see -saw of sometimes being at a 9, then a week later being at a 2 for a few months and then back up to a 9, was never knowing when I would re-tear. The worst was I was over in Asia and I re-tour while having a BM in the airport right before my flight home…we are speaking about an 16 hour flight!
FYI.....When fissures fail to heal with non-surgical treatment, or when the fissure is chronic, recurrent or extremely painful, more aggressive measures to reduce the anal sphincter pressure are warranted, and most surgeons perform “lateral internal sphincterotomy (LIS).” LIS has a high success rate, 90 to 95%; but can have complications, such as bleeding, infection, thrombosed hemorrhoids and fistula. There can be delayed or non-healing of the sphincterotomy surgical site, and persistence or recurrence of the fissure. This operation, in which anal muscle fibers are cut, has a significant chance of causing mild incontinence (loss of control). Reported rates of incontinence after sphincterotomy vary greatly. What surgeons will tell their patients about this operation also varies greatly. Some surgeons tell their patients they have never seen incontinence in any of their own patients. Others quote minor incontinence rates up to 30%; most quote rates in between. This is partly because of discrepancies between what patients tell their surgeon and what they report in questionnaires completed in a more private setting. Researchers from the Cleveland Clinic warned that patients undergoing LIS need to be informed about the potential risks for incontinence to flatus (gas), which may occur in up to 30 percent of cases and could be permanent.
Anal dilatation (sphincter stretch) is another way to treat anal fissure. An older method of anal dilatation was commonly used until LIS was introduced in 1969. In this older method the surgeon inserted his fingers into the anus and spread the anal opening "manually." This was relatively uncontrolled, and often resulted in some degree of incontinence. In the 1970's LIS became the standard operation for anal fissure because it produced lower rates of incontinence than uncontrolled manual dilatation. In the 1990's Dr. Norman Sohn developed “Standardized Anal Dilatation.” This procedure stretches the sphincter muscle in a measured and controlled way that is significantly less likely to produce incontinence. This method also reduces the chances of other complications, such as bleeding and infection. Dr. Sohn treated more than 2000 fissures this way and claimed to have an 87% fissure healing rate (95% pain relief with or without full healing) and an incontinence rate of 0.3%.
http://www.thedoctorschannel.com/view/anal-dilatation-in-the-tx-of-anal-fissure-3/

Hi sweet, u r welcome! I was in the dumps half a yr ago and has gained so much encouragement and info frm here that I can't possibly not give back! Nobody understands and even thot I was in depression cos of my miscarriage. Yes, this anal fissure occured right after it!
I totally agree that fiber is not enough. My CRS gave me fybogel which causes bulking of the stools which clearly not helping for ppl like us. The lactulose softener is equally worthless If not harmful to my gastric. I stick to prune juice religiously, started magnesium oxide daily and I started to heal. So fiber, diet and supplements are super important, at least that's what helped me and I'm advocating. As mentioned in my Prev post, it truly depends on each severity. My CRS said it's quite rare to heal frm fissure without LIS, and he's happy for mine being almost healed. What turns out In the future I do not know, whether will it retear I don't know, but gonna give thanks for every painless day. :)

Thank you again, both, to wecc and dwarfs for replying.
wecc -- I am taking your AD advice to heart, and if all of this comes to that point, I sure hope I can find a good cr to perform that procedure. Of course, I'm hoping it won't come to this - but at this point, I just don't know.
Today, for some reason, I had some time of spiked soreness (pain level 7 or more) in the anal area. Depression followed, along with staying the entire day in bed, and watching t.v. The heating pad seems to help - but I just want the darn AF to heal. Trying to hang in there, but it's hard, hard, hard not to get lost in all of this.
dwarfs - I really appreciate your post, too. I've truly been in the dumps about this -- and I've experienced a miscarriage, too (many years ago - and I remember the utter sadness and despair that came thereafter). I'm trying to be very careful about not bulking up my stools - so, I'm trying to now limit the Fiber One and eat more prunes and some oatmeal (which, I hope doesn't bulk things up). I'm taking magnesium and Vit. C, as well, along with other supplements.
I'm supposed to see one of my crs on Tuesday - and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't dreading the appointment. I'm trying to be positive, but it's awfully hard to fight that locomotive of fear that comes barreling through my chest.
Thank you, both, for your support. It's such a hard time for me right now.

oh ya sweet, out of curiousity, how did you end up retearing it again? cos of something you've eaten?

dwarfs - I'm not sure how I did it, but it was probably my diet . . . although, I had been doing okay, I thought. I was jogging and feeling pretty good - and then I had a day or two of soreness - and my son asked me to jog with him (and I did, which was a huge mistake!) - and that afternoon, I was in the worst misery I've ever been in -- a pain level of 11! It was horrible - I was in such pain, that I really considered going to the hospital.
That day was Oct. 16th -- and though I've made progress, I'm still not healed. Sometimes (like earlier today), I don't even think I've made progress. --- Well, I didn't seriously change my diet until after Christmas. But now, I've really tried to be careful.
So, I'm hoping I will heal. I guess we all want that for ourselves and for everyone else.