Yes, don't be afraid to post and worry about scaring people. If that were the case I should have stopped posting months ago. I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. Do they know how things got so bad? How are you managing your IBS?

Are you somewhere where you can have some help? How are you healing?

Thanks for your response. What got me here is IBS. My IBS is real bad. Bad enough to cause the deep rips or fissures. I am on a muscle relaxer for the IBS which helps but makes me real sleepy. When my stress level hit the roof due to work my IBS was not undercontrol and i felt like i was going to rip something open down there. Sure enough it happened. From then on it got worse with abscess's and fistulas. I guess the infection spread so quickly that it caused alot of problems in a years time. I spoke to Val off line for a long time and then she pushed me to go in and do something about it. Thank God for some people in this group that support you. I have alot of people who do help me like my wife and brothers but it is very hard for them to understand the situation even though my wife sees me everyday with this condition. Just have to keep up the spirits internally.
Thanks for your response
Bernard

I dont know why, but it seems that unless someone has experienced problems like these, they really dont understand. I suppose because of the area its in, people are embarrassed and its kind of a "funny" illness - even though, as we all know it is anything BUT funny!
I have had far more sympathy and help for my neck pain from family and friends than I ever did for my butt problems. Even when I was straight out of surgery I was laughed at for the way I was walking! Not nastily, only in a joke, but thats the way it is with this.
Thats why this group is so wonderful as we all can understand each other's pain and truly relate to it, whereas family and friends never really can unless they have had similar problems. But we are with you all the way!

Hey Bernard - , long time no see !!! It is so nice to hear from you , even though the news are not "wonderful" , but this is the place for us all to share our worries as well as victories since NOBODY can understand the level of pain, physical or emotional, that those conditions can cause. Our family members try to help and try to understand and give all that support but sometimes I would rather share my thoughts here since I don't want to burden them with all of my dark moments and want to give them a break as much as I can .
I am very glad you listened to Val and went for help before the situation got more complicated and I am sure now your skin tags will stop giving you trouble once and for all ! I wish you complete and fast healing and that you will also soon find perfect way to control your IBS !
All the best Bernard

Thanks Fissulyna and thanks to all who helped me. I woundnt of gone to the doctor if it wasnt for people like yall. Take Care and God Bless.
Bernard

Bernard -
I am glad you had the surgery and are feeling a little better. Time will heal! Keep everyone posted on your recovery. :D
People just don't understand what we go through at all. I was telling a friend of mine about my issues and she told me to stop talking about it because I was making her sick. It really mad me mad because she has neck issues (not like you Val - she had a lymph node removed) and I listen to her neck crap all the time. No one wants to hear about my health problems because where it is located. Ahhhh! I just get so upset! Thats ok - I like talking to you guys better anyway!

Thanks. I agree with you. My wife, brothers, sisters, friends stopped listening to me months ago. They dont even ask. My twin brother asks once a while but as you know we tend to need conforting more than others due to the pain and suffering down there. We have to talk or it just gets worse bottled up inside.
Please take care. Let me know if you need anything
Bernard

I don't even try to talk to my friends - they are totally oblivious and make comments that hurt. I heard everything from : " Just learn to live with it", "Don't dwell in self pity", "My back hurts but I take Alive and just ride my bike anyway", and once one of the girls asked me how am I doing and I was telling her when another passed by and overheard and said :" OH NOOOOOO, you are still talking about that episode"??? :( And I spent YEARS listening to her problems of all kinds, from miscarriages,to fibroids, to clogged glands by her private parts, vertigo, acid reflux, allergies, financial troubles, found her husband a job TWICE, helped her stay married and on and on and on . It hurt so much , I was speechless . The other girl was taken aback too and said : " I asked her"!
Anyways....
My Mom understands completely and always almost cries because she can not travel and wants to be with me and help, so for her sake I try to make it sound better than it is. My Sis is great spiritual help. Kids I try to spare as much as I can, try to cry only when they are not around. My husband is my "rock" - he is always there to listen, comfort, "look" and give hope but lately I try to take that burden off him - it is enough that I am stressed out - I hate to see his eyes sad and worry furrowing his brows :( .
So, yeah - this is my safe place , my main place of sharing and caring and
endless understanding I don't know what I would do without you all :roll: !!!!

It is strange how no-one understands except all our buddies here, although I think a lot is because its a taboo kind of subject. We cant really explain in detail to people about the misery of dreading a BM and how the thought of it the next morning keeps us awake at night - who could really understand that?
Or if we go out to dinner we dont look at the menu as they do - as in what it will taste like, oh no, we're looking at it to see what it going to feel like the next day when it comes out! :D
Or that glass of wine, or that chocolate we've just been offered, is that enough to just push things just that little bit too far after being a bit naughty anyway? And do we dare risk the offered coffe when we've skipped the water a little? If we go out for the day, have we got our wet wipes, softeners and loads of bottles of water on board,and can we walk as far as everyone else without it chafing and getting sore ?
Etc., etc., etc., !!! How can anyone understand how life changing this really is unless they have been there, done it and worn the tee-shirt.
If we had something visible that wasn't in a "funny" place then everyone would be sympathetic. As it stands at the moment..... we have each other! :D

I don't know my dear sweet Val : (. Somehow I always was able to understand somebody's pain , even since I was a little child. I felt great grief if I saw somebody cry, stranger or not, and when I saw somebody struggling , I would run to help. When I would hear that somebody is ill , big sadness would come over me even when I was healthy and strong as a rock, and very young and care free. When people tell me that some people are even worse off, it makes me even more sad that all that needless suffering exists : (. I can understand any kind of pain - visible or invisible , and I feel it deeply in my soul. I just can not understand it, no matter how much I try. Even if I was a person that has no feelings at all - wouldn't it be a basic decency to show a concern ??? Just a nice gesture or a good manner ? When I see a beggar on the street I do not need to know why he/she is begging - I offer a dollar even if it is going to be spent on a booze - it will ease it's persons suffering !
I don't know , :(, I can not comprehend , maybe I ask too much from a human race
LOVE YOU BUDDY I know that you and many here are FAR from the majority of other people and that is why this place is so special