Where do I start... There is some backstory, I suppose, but to get right to it:
Had a fissure for a year and a half, now. Self diagnosed (thanks, internet) and had not seen a dr. about it until 3 days ago.
My stools are usually snake-like as they are supposed to be. I do not naturally end up with runny stools or anything. One skin tag, one fissure. The fissure is righttttt at the base of the skin tag. On a scale of 1-10 it feels like a 20 while having a BM. Afterward, usually feels like a 7, 8, or 9 depending on the day. Pain afterward lasts for 12 hours or so. Ugh.
Have tried stool softener, milk of magnesia, coconut oil, fiber supplements, Preparation H. Coconut oil was my top pick, but it didn't help the pain and also... clearly... was not healing the fissure.
As it goes, most of my days in a month are uncomfortable, many are painful, and only a couple are fine. Usually I only get 1 or 2 "fine" days in a row an then they're all bad after that.
I should have said something about this long ago so that I could be healed by now, damn it. Two weeks ago I mad an appointment with my GP. Told my mom about the appt. and it turns out she had a fissure and had a fissurectomy done when she was about my age (30 years ago). She said it was life-changing and that she hasn't had any issues since the surgery, even after giving birth two my sister and I. Anyway, told her about my fissure, learned that she also had one, and awaited my appt.
Then I got tired of waiting. Cancelled the appt. with my GP (who ultimately would have just directed me elsewhere) and made an appointment with a general surgeon who has done fissure surgeries before. Saw him two days ago.
I was REALLY hoping to leave his office with an appointment for surgery. Nope. He did a visual examination and said that he was able to see the fissure. He said he would "hate to do the surgery at my age" and instead gave me hydrocortisone suppositories, hydrocortisone topical cream (for outside the anus), and lidocaine jelly to apply internally before/after BM and said "come back in a month for a follow up."
This. Sucks. Left the appointment, got in my car, and cried. Called my mom to tell her that I feel like he's only thinking about my age and not my pain level. Nice guy, but I really think I'm wasting my time with this. I need something to STOP the muscle spasms! So, either surgery or a cream that will relax the muscle. This is a chronic fissure... hydrocortisone probably won't help at all.
Hung up with my mom, stopped crying, and called a reputable CRS to make an appointment for a second opinion. Have an appointment with him in just under a month. Going on vacation in a few weeks (rightttt before my appointment with the CRS), so I feel like I just have to wait in pain until then. I will continue to use the stuff that the general surgeon gave me, but I don't think I'll be feeling any better. I don't want this fissure to ruin my week-long vacation, but I don't think I can get in with a CRS before then. And even if I did, I wouldn't want to do the surgery right before a trip to the beach.
Here I am, stuck in painful butt limbo for a month

I'm expecting the surgeon to give me the green light for surgery (especially since at that point I will have been trying suppositories and lidocaine for a month), at which point I will make the surgery appointment for as soon as he can possibly take me. This fissure is so frustrating, pervasive, and painful that although I am naturally nervous about the pre and post surgery moments, I am excited to move the hell on from this.
I have looked through this site SO many time in the past year and a half, so I decided now to join in.