Hello, I am new to this forum, and like other folks, I am really grateful to have found it. Last Thursday I overcame my phobia and embarrassment about saying the word "anus" over the telephone, and saw my primary doctor. (I have had fissure symptoms for three years and have tried so many OTC remedies, baths, and creams and finally couldn't stand the pain anymore.) My primary doctor did an exam with an anuscope and said she didn't see a fissure, but saw yellowish-green discharge. She referred me to a CRS, and when I called I was lucky that they could see me the next day.

The CRS and his staff were incredibly kind and made me feel comfortable. I was anally raped as a child (I am a woman, now 45 years old) and I told the doctor right away to get that out in the open, although it is something I have only talked about twice before. I have had three children, one of which was 11 lbs. These factors contributed to a lot of scar tissue in and around my anus. My pain is anterior, and I had used a mirror to see the fissure back when it recurred three years ago.

The digital rectal exam that the CRS performed was one of the most painful experiences I've had in a long time. I cried, and I am not a crier. The doctor was sympathetic and professional and I didn't feel violated by him. After he was done, he apologized for causing me pain. He needed to do the exam to determine the area involved and whether I needed surgery.

I had assumed I had a fissure, because that is how this started. But the doctor didn't see a fissure, just like my primary doctor didn't see a fissure. He could see what I had felt with my finger, which is an ulcer-like wound inside the anal canal. I guess the fissure had tried to heal, but this ulcer thing is what remained.

The CRS said that he believes that it is a fistula, and although I don't have an external site of draining, it's possible that it is a "blind fistula" or that the other opening is someplace that we can't see. It probably has a track and leads to an abscess between my vagina and my anus.

He told me that it needed to be opened in surgery and that he will leave it open and try to save the sphincter. Then he led me to his surgery scheduler and she got me in for surgery tomorrow. So I have only had to wait three days to have it worked on.

Since the exam on Friday (today is Monday), my anus has been oozing green gunk and is as painful as it has ever been. I have been counting the hours until I am given the anesthesia tomorrow for a break from the pain. I am really anxious, wondering about how much of my sphincter muscle is involved in the abscess/infection. I ride horses and I wonder if I'll ever be able to bear sitting in a saddle again. I am trying to stay positive, but it is scary to go down this road.

Hi! Just done a fistulectomy myself. Stay strong!

There are bouts of pain here and there post surgery but I'm sure we'll all reach full recovery and return to our normal lives, and more than that, we'll be happier people knowing that this silly thing is behind us!

So indeed, stay positive. Believe you can recover fully because to believe is half the battle already won. :)

Praying for your recovery!