From hell

Please come in! Start your own personal thread, tell us a bit about yourself...and your fissure, of course. Welcome!

Return to New to the forum? Introduce yourself here




From hell

Postby bgd » 18 Apr 2013, 14:56

Here I am posting on an AF board, as I'm taking the first step out of hell. It's been the worst 4 weeks of my life and I'm almost afraid to celebrate. Till last month I didn't even know what an AF was, yet I think I lived with it for two decades round, thinking it's just hems. What was I thinking ignoring it for so long? You know how it starts, hard stool, a bit of pain, but then it all goes away by itself, so why not just ignore it? Then the blood comes, who cares if there's no major pain? It got worse a few years ago, when suddenly I started getting fever a couple of times a year and it took me a long time to relate it to bloody stools. I was actually getting infected, still didn't do anything about it.
Then it got chronic last November when I was going through a stressful time, thus having 2-3 BMs a day. Only this time it never healed. It got worse when I got constipated for a couple of weeks and pushed it out without mercy. But still, pain would go away in a few hours and there was no spams. I didn't know what spasm was back then. Then I went on a diet, it's Easter fest anyway, and managed to get my stools back on track. Paraffin oil and flax seeds worked great for me.
Then end of March it has gone from bad to worse. I woke up in the middle of the night, about 4h after my BM. Spasm has entered my life and changed it forever. I didn't understand what was going on, why is my anus suddenly so tight? It would take another 3 hours before the pain would become excruciating and would last for another hour, but then it would go away. It took me another sleepless night to finally come to the realization that I have a serious problem and should ask for help.
Next day I was in for an emergency consultation and got the news: chronic AF 1.5 cm long, plus the hems I knew about. I've got a serious bashing from the doctor for ignoring it so long. He explained me the pain-spasm-pain cycle. Then I was presented the treatment options they had: ultrasound cauterization and botox (Dysport) combined with herbal ointment, sitz baths. No word about LIS and dilation. So I started with the ointment and got scheduled for cauterization one week later, on April 1st. Sitz baths didn't work for me, they would actually make my spasm worse for some reason.
The herbal ointment helped, but I just wasn't able to stick my finger up, so I made myself a thin applicator. The doctor insists that massaging the muscle on the inside is crucial to get the blood flowing and facilitate the generation of new skin. To me it makes no sense to traumatize an open wound. I felt I'm getting more healing by simply living it alone. So I just used the applicator and got better right away, I would still get pain but no spams for the next 2 BMs. Then the 3rd BM came just a little bit harder and put me back to square one.
On April 1st, the day of the ultrasound cauterization I barely got there due to the pain. Local anesthetic gave immediate relief and the pain after the cauterization was far less then the spasms. Next couple of BMs more or less pain free, no spasm. So I thought this was great, I'm healed. Little I knew that it would be short lived. I think what happened is that the cauterization closed the wound and generated a crust which fell off after about 5 days, so I was back on square one and worse: constant bleeding, painful BMs, spasm. Now I think it was a big mistake, it only made the AF worse, although my doc insists it burned the edges and made the AF from chronic to acute, thus facilitating the generation of new tissue.
On April 6th I was scheduled for botox, again got there in severe pain and the local anesthetic didn't help much. Getting the botox injection over this state surely didn't help my pain. What came after was beyond anything I could've imagined. If before, the spasm would top at 7-8h after BM, now I got a constant pain level 9 for 8 hours with very few moments of slight relief. I went from praying to cursing, screaming and crying. The pain was so intense for so long that it reduced me to tears. No painkiller helped. I wished for cure or death. Now I'm pretty sure the order was wrong. Should've got the botox first and cauterize after it has kicked in.
The next days went on the same, till my body refused to poop. Now I have a stool every 4 days, luckily it's still soft. I also noticed the very soft stool it's actually worse, as it burns the fissure. And the damn botox just wouldn't kick in. Doc wanted to cauterize again, I refused.
My agony topped last week when I got pain for 14 hours. Stool at 7 PM, bearable pain till 11 PM than a second soft stool put me back to square one. The pain was so big that I was contemplating in going to ER and having emergency LIS done. By 5 AM I was exhausted and fell asleep, but woke up every hour. Only at 9 AM I could fall asleep for good.
Then I got another episode when my hems got all swollen during spasm, but ice worked. Went to see the doctor the next day, he inspected the area and it hurt so much it send me back into spasm for the next 6 hours. Damn.
As a last resort I went on a (mostly) herbal cocktail of ointments and suppositories that is too long to describe here. However, 2 ingredients that worked great on my placebo were Balsam of Peru and Hyaluronic Acid. But the main thing was no touch and poop less. My doc still insisted in avoiding LIS. I also discussed balloon dilation, but it's not a practice here in Romania so the only alternative is manual dilation, which he considered too brutal.
Today though, 12 days after my botox I think it finally kicked in. I was also very careful with my pooping. I'm not pushing at all and barely opening my anus, just enough to release tiny chunks. However the result is that I didn't flush completely and now I feel like pooping again, but I'm just gonna hold it back and go to sleep. So more than 4 hours after the BM I have no pain, no spasm and the swelling is gone completely. So it's either the botox, either I didn't get a tear this time. I'm now confident to poop more often, maybe every other day, but I'm still gonna be careful not to open my anus completely, cause I feel that is when the tear happens.
So I think the door is now open for healing and what I'm gonna try next is Manuka Honey, I read it worked great for some of the members here.
Great board btw, learned a lot here
bgd
Proctosphincteranalogist
 
Posts: 214
Topics: 11
Joined: 17 Apr 2013, 16:00
Has thanked: 0 time
Been thanked: 1 time
Gender: None specified

Re: From hell

Postby marg6043 » 18 Apr 2013, 20:38

bgd, so sorry to hear how much been suffering with your fissure, hems and treatments.
I hope the botox works for you, but to avoid the irritation after a BM, make sure to lubricate with Vaseline, this works for many people when the irritation and pain is unbearable.
The sitz bath are more for keeping the anal area clean after a BM, it only works for pain if you find a way to relax.
Baby cream for diaper rash also works on keeping the fissure protected.
Manual dilatation is recommended but only if you can stand inserting anything in the bum, you can massage the outside still if is not too painful.
Fissures due to the area where they are located inside the anus do not develop scabs or crust they look just like what a mouth sore looks like and like such that is why they are so painful when raw.
I hope you get some relief and the fissure will be able to heal, you can find all kind of information from people's experiences with their fissures here in the board.
I Wish you a fast recovery and healing.
User avatar
marg6043
King Fissure
 
Posts: 739
Topics: 8
Joined: 02 Dec 2012, 17:00
Location: Ga
Has thanked: 0 time
Been thanked: 2 times
Gender: None specified

Re: From hell

Postby delasama » 18 Apr 2013, 20:55

You tried miralax? Thankyou for sharing your story. I was wondering about cauterization. Sounds like healing naturally is a good idea.scar tissue is evil! I only take 3/4 cap full miralax right before dinner every night and I'm feeling great. Took atleast two months of diet and this to get to this point. I mean literally I cried after bm for months and curled up in fetal position in bath tub.. You can beat this and figure it out. It does take endurance and determination and time. I don't know why god put this fissure in my life, but I will deal with it and get through it.everything happens for a reason.
delasama
King Fissure
 
Posts: 515
Topics: 31
Joined: 09 Jan 2013, 17:00
Has thanked: 0 time
Been thanked: 0 time
Gender: None specified

Re: From hell

Postby bgd » 19 Apr 2013, 01:23

Thanks for the advices. Yes, I do lube before BM.
Haven't tried miralax, not available here, but there sure are alternatives. However I don't have a constipation problem right now, since I'm on a festing/vegetarian diet.
Today I feel great. I realized it's not the fissure hurting me that much, but the subsequent spasm. I think botox definitely kicked in finally. Now I should be careful not to tear before botox goes away.
bgd
Proctosphincteranalogist
 
Posts: 214
Topics: 11
Joined: 17 Apr 2013, 16:00
Has thanked: 0 time
Been thanked: 1 time
Gender: None specified

Re: From hell

Postby bgd » 19 Apr 2013, 17:01

Can't believe what is happening to me. Had another BM today, more or less pain free as yesterday. Mild spasm this time, but botox hanged on, so it went away within minutes. I went to bed happily then suddenly severe diarrhea kicked in (had some grapes earlier). Went 3 times already, pooping pure water, now I need to go again. Spasm after every BM
bgd
Proctosphincteranalogist
 
Posts: 214
Topics: 11
Joined: 17 Apr 2013, 16:00
Has thanked: 0 time
Been thanked: 1 time
Gender: None specified

Re: From hell

Postby bgd » 20 Apr 2013, 07:21

I'm feeling down today, I'm almost back to square one. Yesterday I really thought I've rid myself of the pain for good, I was doing my regular activities the whole day.
I managed to stop diarrhea last night with 2 imodium pills, after 4 watery BMs within 2 hours. BMs didn't hurt, as they were plain water, but they sure irritated my fissure like hell.
Then I fell asleep but got into mild spasm when I changed body position and woke up. It went away fairly quickly so I could sleep till 1PM. I woke up pretty normal, but as I took a couple of steps around the room, I started to feel pain again. Not strong, but just annoying, like I had a golf ball stuck up my arse. Bath and ointment helped a little, but now it's back again. Another screwed up day in bed, hope it goes away cause Monday I have to return to work after 3 weeks sick leave.
I'm still happy with my botox. Muscle is not as relaxed as yesterday, but spasm is not as powerful as before, pain is mild.
So I really don't know what to eat now. Imodium will sure cause constipation, but if I put more fiber into my system I'm afraid I might trigger another diarrhea episode.
bgd
Proctosphincteranalogist
 
Posts: 214
Topics: 11
Joined: 17 Apr 2013, 16:00
Has thanked: 0 time
Been thanked: 1 time
Gender: None specified

Re: From hell

Postby guiness » 20 Apr 2013, 07:34

Bannanas white rice applesauce toast for diarherra, prine juice grapes apple juice sweet potatoes for constipation. Can you get colace stool softener without biscodyl where you live? Since u cant get miralax i would try duconasate.
guiness
Proctosphincteranalogist
 
Posts: 127
Topics: 11
Joined: 25 Mar 2013, 17:00
Has thanked: 0 time
Been thanked: 4 times
Gender: None specified

Re: From hell

Postby guiness » 20 Apr 2013, 07:39

You gotta get what comes out under control, it will help the spasms. Diarhera is like you are puking (muscle spasms) from the back end. Try eating the same stuff everyday until u get a handle on it. I had constipation, so i started with sweet potatoes a spinach for my main meals. Oatmeal everyday for breakfast with one egg. Its a survival diet when u are in pain. Find what works for you.
guiness
Proctosphincteranalogist
 
Posts: 127
Topics: 11
Joined: 25 Mar 2013, 17:00
Has thanked: 0 time
Been thanked: 4 times
Gender: None specified

Re: From hell

Postby bgd » 24 Apr 2013, 04:43

Major setback. Had an easy BM last evening, 5 on Bristol scale with a bit of 6 at the end. Used plenty of vaseline, I didn't get significant pain, just discomfort. Started swelling immediately on the outside during the BM, probably on the inside too. Took a bath, swelling went away in minutes.
Applied ointment and it burned this time and I think this is what triggered the spasm. Panicked and took another bath to relax muscle. It did the trick but I might've made it too hot so got inflammation and then spasm again and then couldn't control it anymore. It stopped 6h after BM, but then started again 2 times and I could stop it with warm water. Only 8h post BM I could fall asleep (4am). Today somehow I'm fine.
Botox seems to have been very short lived. Seriously considering LIS.
bgd
Proctosphincteranalogist
 
Posts: 214
Topics: 11
Joined: 17 Apr 2013, 16:00
Has thanked: 0 time
Been thanked: 1 time
Gender: None specified


  • Similar Topics
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Return to New to the forum? Introduce yourself here



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest