Wow Kmoon89, sounds like me. Only difference is I had a hemorrhoidectomy. Before that I could have have much sex as I wanted with no pain or bleeding. I feel like that operation ruined everything for me, and i could do it over again i surely wouldnt have done the surgery. I can still have sex its just not as easy to get things to go in because of tightness, and on top of that the pain coming from that same area. It also itches an throbs periodically on its own which is odd. And it doesnt bleed with every bowel movement, its just sometimes. But it bleeds everytime i try sex. I just hope i am not making matters worse by doing this. The area has gotten very sensitive over the years but i feel i need to do something. I want to be able to have sex with my partner.

Ah, that kind of worries me because I have a few hemorrhoids I was hoping to get rid of since they bleed so much, but now I'm afraid of scar tissue building up and making it worse. I don't even remember the last time I enjoyed anal sex without pain to be honest, I used to be able to have sex with my partner every day (Again, when I was 18-19), and with my last partner, it was maybe once a month, every 3 weeks on average. He knew it hurt me so he didn't like to do it, and I would bleed everywhere, and that's just a major turn off to anyone -- So he went and go it somewhere else, but that's a whole other story, haha...And then a bowel movement the next few days would be like passing glass, it's honestly the worst pain I've ever felt. It also throbs and pulses all night after sex and I'm unable to even sleep, so I definitely can relate to that. I'm anxious and worried about the results, but I know it'll never fix itself and I'm so happy my surgeon understood that as a gay man, to give up sex for the next 40-50 years is not an option.

Are you planning on getting surgery to correct the last procedure?

Well, my doctor doesn't think LIS will help me, but since i am so adamant about it he agreed to give me surgery. Since I have tried botox and nitro, and nitro gave me some relief, he is going to do it. I even tried applying nitro before sex and it made sex way more comfortable, but i would still bleed and tear but the pain was less jarring. My CRS has looked at my ass several times, but has only seen a fissure one time. Ive gone to multiple doctors over the years who say my anus is perfect, but it doesn't feel perfect to me. I usually tear and it heals within a few days so its hard for a doctor to see it i guess. But my surgery is next Friday so we will see what happens. Surgery makes me nervous, but like you said I'm not trying to have a life with no sex.

kmoon89, I really hope the LIS will help you.
I am currently pain- and blood free and when I "dilate" my bum with a butt plug it's also pain- and blood free. However, I'm still too scared to actually have sex because that's a different movement/pressure than if I do it myself with a dildo.
I also have some scar tissue inside (I think). Not sure if that will go away by itself and if that might be still a risk for relapsing. Maybe I have to consider getting a surgery there to remove that tissue so the wound can heal properly.
Keep us posted about your LIS and healing please.

Hi everybody,

I just registered, to say thank you Swimmerboy93! (btw have to say your username sounds sexy lol)

I'm a gay guy, too, 33 y/o and dealing with a f***ing fistula, too. It started with an abscess to which I possibly didn't pay enough attention. I told the doctors it started in december 2016 though I remember having some minor discomforts a long time before. Now I'm pretty upset thinking I could've possibly avoided the fistula in first place, but whatever, since we can't travel through time.

I went through a similar process as Swimmerboy93 described before, I'm waiting now to be scheduled for a MRI (magentic resonance) -- I just hope I don't have Crohn or anything else.

Since I consider myself a vers bottom, I'm pretty worried too about how hard it will impact my future sex life.

Thank you all for your inputs. I'll try to keep you updated, too.

Oh, one thing I forgot to ask, those of you who already have been through a fistulotomy... Does it leave like a "terrible" scar ... or is it bearable/does it nearly fully disappear? I wouldn't like to have an awful scar on my (some say beautiful, lol) butt...

waves wrote:kmoon89, I really hope the LIS will help you.
I am currently pain- and blood free and when I "dilate" my bum with a butt plug it's also pain- and blood free. However, I'm still too scared to actually have sex because that's a different movement/pressure than if I do it myself with a dildo.
I also have some scar tissue inside (I think). Not sure if that will go away by itself and if that might be still a risk for relapsing. Maybe I have to consider getting a surgery there to remove that tissue so the wound can heal properly.
Keep us posted about your LIS and healing please.

I think even being able to dilate without feeling the physical tear would be such a huge step for me, so I am happy that you are at least pain-free and able to ease back into it. I also plan on refraining from sex because yeah, it's totally different when it's a toy vs. thrusting, etc., and it would have to be with someone who is patient. I would try to get the scar tissue checked out since that's what continues to tear, buildup more tissue and cause stenosis. I always knew it was scar tissue and no doctors would ever check for that, they'd only look for actual tears or hemorrhoids and tell me to come back in 6 weeks. My current doctor was very honest and said no amount of botox or fiber therapy would resolve the scarring, and it had gotten worse with bleeding over the last 2 years (I would literally be dripping blood during sex, not attractive). Exactly one month away from my surgery and I'm ready!

chillblue wrote:Well, my doctor doesn't think LIS will help me, but since i am so adamant about it he agreed to give me surgery. Since I have tried botox and nitro, and nitro gave me some relief, he is going to do it. I even tried applying nitro before sex and it made sex way more comfortable, but i would still bleed and tear but the pain was less jarring. My CRS has looked at my ass several times, but has only seen a fissure one time. Ive gone to multiple doctors over the years who say my anus is perfect, but it doesn't feel perfect to me. I usually tear and it heals within a few days so its hard for a doctor to see it i guess. But my surgery is next Friday so we will see what happens. Surgery makes me nervous, but like you said I'm not trying to have a life with no sex.

I wonder if you've also got a buildup of scars that is tearing like mine...I've felt my scarring in the shower a few times, it really does feel like fibers and it's very stiff -- Almost like a scar for every time I have had sex or had a bowel movement that tore it open, I wonder if you can ask your doctor to check on that because they might be able to remove it. And the last part, so much I can again relate to. I went to the ER with a swollen, bloody anus, but by the time I got to see a specialist 2 weeks later, I was already healed and it looked "fine." I've seriously contemplated having sex and then going to see a specialist in the past because I felt like no one believed me, but I feel in those situations they'll probably just ask you to come back when you're healed so they can insert a scope in there. I'm just glad I was adamant about seeing a surgeon and didn't accept the first doctor's opinion of, "Do participate in anal sex then" stance. I'm happy to hear that your surgeon will go through with the LIS!

kmoon89 wrote:

chillblue wrote:Well, my doctor doesn't think LIS will help me, but since i am so adamant about it he agreed to give me surgery. Since I have tried botox and nitro, and nitro gave me some relief, he is going to do it. I even tried applying nitro before sex and it made sex way more comfortable, but i would still bleed and tear but the pain was less jarring. My CRS has looked at my ass several times, but has only seen a fissure one time. Ive gone to multiple doctors over the years who say my anus is perfect, but it doesn't feel perfect to me. I usually tear and it heals within a few days so its hard for a doctor to see it i guess. But my surgery is next Friday so we will see what happens. Surgery makes me nervous, but like you said I'm not trying to have a life with no sex.

I wonder if you've also got a buildup of scars that is tearing like mine...I've felt my scarring in the shower a few times, it really does feel like fibers and it's very stiff -- Almost like a scar for every time I have had sex or had a bowel movement that tore it open, I wonder if you can ask your doctor to check on that because they might be able to remove it. And the last part, so much I can again relate to. I went to the ER with a swollen, bloody anus, but by the time I got to see a specialist 2 weeks later, I was already healed and it looked "fine." I've seriously contemplated having sex and then going to see a specialist in the past because I felt like no one believed me, but I feel in those situations they'll probably just ask you to come back when you're healed so they can insert a scope in there. I'm just glad I was adamant about seeing a surgeon and didn't accept the first doctor's opinion of, "Do participate in anal sex then" stance. I'm happy to hear that your surgeon will go through with the LIS!

Well KMoon, the scar that i have that keeps tearing is from a previous hemmorhoidectomy. And yes i think it tears because its weaker, and it does feel different than it did before. But I have another spot that was cut and scarred and its fine. I have no issues with it. But i think one of the bigger problems is the tightness the hemmorhoidectomy left me with also. If I have a large bowel moment that is hard, sometimes it will get stuck lol......This never happened before the hemmorhoidectomy, and when it does happen of course i feel pressure on that area, which causes it to bleed because it is stretching beyond its capability i suppose. Sex is the same way, it feels very tight which makes it painful in that area. Hopefully the LIS will help with the tightness. I do not have stenosis, but that surgery made things tighter down there for sure.

Hey Boardies!!!!

I had my LIS this morning at 7:45am. It didn't take that long, i was under general anesthesia so of course i didnt feel a thing. I took a percocet for pain, but i wont take anymore unless the pain gets really bad.. Since the numbing wore off it feels more of an aching, but we will see. I just hope this will get me back to a normal life. keep you guys posted!!!!! :)