Gay guy with chronic anal fissure considering LIS

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Gay guy with chronic anal fissure considering LIS

Postby DocOx96 » 14 Jul 2020, 18:42

Hey everyone. As the title says I'm a gay guy, 24 years old and I've had a chronic fissure for 4 years now. This post is mostly aimed at other gay men who've had the sphincterotomy surgery and returned to a normal sex life after healing to share their experiences but comments are of course welcome from everyone! :)

I used to love bottoming in sex but haven't been able to since the fissure developed, for the obvious physical and psychological reasons. It's really affected my sex life, knocked my confidence a lot and made me quite anxious worrying that I'll never have a normal sex life again. My symptoms are classic but generally not severe – some pain during/after BMs, painful spasms sometimes, a generally very tight feeling anus etc. I've tried all the typical creams over the years (rectogesic, anusol, steroid creams and suppositories, vaseline, sudocrem etc). When all of these either failed or partially/fully healed the fissure which then recurred, I had 2 rounds of botox injections 3 months apart (latest was in Feb of this year) . According to my colorectal surgeon when I visited him last week, the fissure is mostly healed but still slightly open at the very end of the fissure. While this is cause for optimism, I'm thinking at this point of just asking for the sphincterotomy surgery after so much time struggling with this and it still not being fully healed since my most recent botox treatment which was nearly 6 months ago. It sort of just feels like it is never going to resolve by itself without the surgery, or like it will resolve and then recur immediately at the first hint of a 'slightly less soft than usual' BM or anal sex. But, I've been so worried about various things with the surgery, such as it affecting long term continence which I'm worried would be exacerbated by bottoming in the future? Another worry is that the surgical site wound could cause issues when bottoming even if the fissure itself has healed?


So, does anyone have any advice on this from your own experiences? If so, how long did it take you after surgery to fully heal and get back to being able to have anal sex again? How did you know you were fully healed and ready to get back in the game? How do you successfully bottom without the fissure recurring from the scar tissue tearing during sex? To clarify, I've asked my surgeon all of these questions and he has been optimistic with every treatment I've been through that I'll be able to have anal sex again in the future. But, as he's a straight man I worry that he's perhaps not 100% clued up on this in the context of it being an issue for me as a gay guy.
Sorry for all of the questions and the long post, I just don't really know where to turn for gay sex specific advice on this other than from other gay guys online who have been through the same thing. So with that I'm hoping this thread can be a help for both me and other people going through this.
Thanks!
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Re: Gay guy with chronic anal fissure considering LIS

Postby LuxEtranB7 » 23 Sep 2020, 18:16

Hello there,

I am a gay 30yr old male and I’ve been dealing with this for about the same amount of time. It started out much more painful, but now I just deal with re-tearing sometimes when I have hard stool (or perhaps when I eat certain foods but it’s unclear).

I thought I had this figured out because I have been dilating my ass for the past 3 months and was seeing great improvement. I realized that scar tissue was my main issue, and that I had to slowly stretch it out in order to prevent tearing. I had gotten to the point that I could use a small dildo on myself without having any problems. I thought that maybe I was in the clear.

But this morning I re-opened a fissure with my morning bowel movement and I’m feeling very frustrated. I thought I had been beyond the point that that would happen again. I’m not sure what I need to do to ensure that I won’t continue to have this problem throughout my whole life.

I don’t want to have LIS because I feel like I can conquer this without surgery, but I definitely feel more skeptical of that today. I’m a little less confident now. It’s really nice to hear a similar story so thanks for sharing. This is especially challenging for us gay men. Our psychology is so deeply effected by this because our asses are such a part of our sex lives. I’ve realized that emotional hygiene and love/kindness towards myself is a big part of the recovery for this. Best of luck to you!

B
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