Gay male with fissure 6 years after colon procedure

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Gay male with fissure 6 years after colon procedure

Postby sameold84 » 07 Jan 2013, 21:20

Hi everyone,
First post, so sorry if something like this has been asked before.
I had a mass removed from my colon when I was 22 years old. Ever since then, I've been extremely prone to fissures which usually heal but never all the way. The last has healed 80% but has lasted almost 2 years.
As a gay male who has been the recipient of anal sex, this has been particularly problematic. It's gotten to the point where it's difficult to be in a relationship with someone who is a complete "top" since this doesn't bode well for my fissure situation. It's even led to resentment when prospective partners think I'm feeding them a line when I say I won't accept anal sex.
Has anyone been chronically prone to fissures after an invasive procedure? Has surgery been a successful remedy? I'd thought that physical pain was the worst of my worries, so advice on this front would alleviate a lot of pain on the relationship front as well.
Sorry for the abundance of info, but thanks in advance for the replies.
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Re: Gay male with fissure 6 years after colon procedure

Postby suzyljank » 07 Jan 2013, 21:59

Hi, sorry you've been suffering. From what I've been told any anal surgery can lead to scar tissue, this tissue is not elastic so it doesn't stretch. Chronic fissures can cause scar tissue too. They can seem to heal only to reopen and each time this happens more scar tissue is formed. This can lead to a narrowing of the anus or anal stenosis. Sometimes LIS can help the stenosis and sometimes an advancement flap is needed. The flap is supposed to replace the scar tissue with healthy tissue that can stretch normally again. As far as sex is concerned it's difficult when you have an active fissure no matter who you are. The spasming that comes with anal problems can make all the muscles in the area tense up.
If you have a partner that refuses to understand how much pain you have then he's probably not the person to be with. I hope this helps and you feel better soon. Try to stay positive, you are no alone Suzy .
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Re: Gay male with fissure 6 years after colon procedure

Postby sameold84 » 07 Jan 2013, 22:08

suzyljank wrote:Hi, sorry you've been suffering. From what I've been told any anal surgery can lead to scar tissue, this tissue is not elastic so it doesn't stretch. Chronic fissures can cause scar tissue too. They can seem to heal only to reopen and each time this happens more scar tissue is formed. This can lead to a narrowing of the anus or anal stenosis. Sometimes LIS can help the stenosis and sometimes an advancement flap is needed. The flap is supposed to replace the scar tissue with healthy tissue that can stretch normally again. As far as sex is concerned it's difficult when you have an active fissure no matter who you are. The spasming that comes with anal problems can make all the muscles in the area tense up.
If you have a partner that refuses to understand how much pain you have then he's probably not the person to be with. I hope this helps and you feel better soon. Try to stay positive, you are no alone Suzy .

Thanks, Suzy. This has been such a tough issue that I've been apprehensive about being in a relationship at all. The LIS advice is wonderful and the relationship advice is even better. I can't thank you enough. Thanks for taking the time to post.
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Re: Gay male with fissure 6 years after colon procedure

Postby owmybum » 08 Jan 2013, 10:02

Hi sameold84,
Firstly, sorry to hear this has been an ongoing problem for a fair few years.. It must really take its toll on you.
Have you seen a dr or specialist for your af? Have you been prescribed any creams? Are you using a stool softener? If no to any of the above then I would suggest making an appt first off.
As for relationships.. I second what Suzy says.. You need someone who understands how incredibly painfull an af is, and that the thought of causing any more trauma to the area is a definate no no. ..that being said.. You are a young guy and you need intimacy..there are plenty of other things you can do..... Image
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Re: Gay male with fissure 6 years after colon procedure

Postby ryrylou » 08 Jan 2013, 12:11

No one can understand the pain of anal fissure unless they have one themselves. I describe to people as crapping shards of glass. That usually gets their attention. That being said I would hope the right person would be understanding of your situation. If they aren't empathetic they aren't the right person for you. I'm not a gay man, but can imagine how difficult this could be for you in your situation. My advice is to find as much info as you can and start trying different things to keep your BM's as smooth as possible. Also, to see an AF specialist for their advice. Your situation is a little different than a lot of us, so it could mean a different approach. Good luck!
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Re: Gay male with fissure 6 years after colon procedure

Postby Stratocaster » 08 Jan 2013, 12:46

I can totally relate. I'm also gay (25) and have had a fissure for 18 months. I am a top but at the same time in a relationship I think versatility is important so for the last year I've been single I've been staying that way for a reason.
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Re: Gay male with fissure 6 years after colon procedure

Postby lefthanded » 10 Jul 2013, 15:54

I developed fissures after a complete removal of my colon and rectum due to severe ulcerative colitis  . . . and subsequent onset of Crohn's disease.  My inflammation came on quickly, and the pathology report showed it was rapidly advancing, meaning there was likely very little I could do to save my colon.  I later asked my surgeon, in a very frank discussion, if there was anything I could have done to cause or worsen my chances of either getting colitis or having colon issues, and he said he really didn't believe so.  You see, I am female, and had been introduced to anal sex seven years prior to my onset of colitis, and may have even caused a small fissure using a sex toy, and was very worried that I had caused my illness.   He related a few stories of some pretty extreme foreign object removals he had performed in his career during our discussion to help allay my fears.  In fact I recall remarking during that conversation that it is ironic that more gay men do not have issues with their colons, with which he agreed.  However fissures are another matter.  Tearing of the delicate tissues of the anus are common, and often heal without even being seen by a doctor, but for those unlucky enough to have the predisposition to developing Crohn's, this can be a problem.  AF is one of many symptoms that can present with Crohn's.
If you have any other digestive system issues, I would recommend you find the best gastro or colorectal surgeon you can and establish a good relationship to keep your health.  At the very least, establish a good relationship with your PCP.   I have shocked a few doctors with my candid approach and questions, but I see no benefit in modesty when you are talking about parts of the body that we all use!
As far as partners go, I have been with mine for 15 years, 11 of those years have been pretty void of any sex or even arousal.  Any kind of orgasm causes intense and painful spasms, setting me up for days of trying to get back to my new normal (pain, spasm, some incontinence, urgency and frequency) that are not uncommon for someone with a j-pouch.  Arousal can cause spasms, which before all the illness was a good thing, but now has me living in fear.  The loss of intimacy is horrible, as even kissing causes arousal.  I am still very attracted to her, can still orgasm, and still desire her . .  . but pain and fear have pretty much ruined our sex lives.  I tell you this because it is possible to find a partner who will accept you, limitations and all.  I also suffer transverse myelitis, and many of my TM support group friends are paralyzed, incontinent, and in wheelchairs . . . and experience the same issues.  One of them just met the love of her life recently, and he accepts her with all her physical issues!  I hear stories all the time of TMers meeting and falling in love with wonderful understanding people . . . but it can take time and patience.  
My partner and I face a very uncertain future, as she has developed spinal issues from her job.  In spite of it all we are planning to turn our registered domestic partnership into a real marriage some time in the next year.  You will find someone . . . just be patient with yourself and those you spend time with.
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Re: Gay male with fissure 6 years after colon procedure

Postby tiredjay » 11 Jul 2013, 08:52

Hi sameold84,
While my fissure was not the result of a prior procedure, I am also gay and have had my fissure for quite some time (1.5 years). Fortunately I am in a relationship with someone who is really understanding and supportive and has helped to take the internal pressure I was feeling that he might leave me if I didn't heal. However, wanting to be intimate with my partner again (in addition to going to the bathroom without pain) has motivated me to heal. I've tried the creams, the Botox, and recently had the advancement flap procedure suzyljank was talking about (you might want to check out her posts as they are really helpful). I'm about 9 weeks post-op and the fissure pain while going to the bathroom is practically gone and has been for quite some time. I don't even have pain when I press on the area where the fissure used to be. I do, however, still have pain from the scar tissue and some burning/pressure that I think is all part of the healing process (CRS recently gave me some hydrocortisone suppositories to decrease the inflammation, but said that everything else is all healed).
Anyway, you might want to go through your options with your CRS. Is seems like most people have success with LIS, though my doctor and I had some concerns about that procedure as my resting pressure was normal. I opted for the advancement flap because I was concerned with the possible side effects of an LIS due to my pressure. Hang in there!
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