Had a full on panic attack at the doctor's office :(

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Had a full on panic attack at the doctor's office :(

Postby Mae » 31 Mar 2015, 14:09

Okay as I've said before inother topics, I've had hypochondriasis/ health anxiety ever since my mom died from cancer. I've also suspected I've had an anal fissure or hemorrhoids for awhile, and finally went to a CRS today. But while the nurse was taking my vitals, I began to have a full-on panic attack. I kept blinking back tears and when she asked if I was alright I began to cry and then could not stop for at least half an hour. The doctor was very kind and told me that we could reschedule for next week if that would make me more comfortable. So I did. I told them that I had health anxiety for awhile but nothing quite like this had ever happened. It might have had to do with the fact that I had passed the division for pancreatic disorders and it brought back bad memories of my mom's illness. And not to mention, going to a doctor to get a rectal exam is very stressful in the first place. But I feel a little humiliated. I had two nurses, a medical assistant, a physician's assistant, and the doctor all trying to calm me down but once I start crying I can't stop. Plus, sometimes when people are kind to me it makes me cry even more! I don't want to repeat these events next week. I have decided it's time to seek professionsl help for my anxiety, like therapy and maybe even medication, but I doubt I'll get anything in time for next week.

Btw, as I was leaving I walked past the original medical assistant with two other random ones and I overheard one going "Is that her??" Like she didn't even lower her voice. Did she think I was some kind of crazy person who wouldn't hear her? And was the whole office talking about me? I suppose if I was having a boring work day and something unusual happened I would have been interested too. But she didn't even try to be discreet about it or wait til I'd walked by. Ugh..
● Fissure first appeared Nov '14
● Cycle of healing and reappearing
● Using conservative methods (metamucil, managing anxiety)
Mae
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Re: Had a full on panic attack at the doctor's office :(

Postby msimon » 31 Mar 2015, 14:52

Oh Mae. I am so sorry to hear about what happened to you. That is really awful and perfectly understandable. You are obviously still grieving the loss of someone you loved very much. It also sounds like it was traumatic. Be easy on yourself. You should not feel humiliated, just human. These things tend to accumulate in us and burst out when stressed. I am glad to hear that you are going to get treatment for your anxiety. Nobody should have to live with that kind of mental trauma.

As for the so-called 'professionals,' Don't worry about them. They obviously have not had such hardship in their lives and you needn't give them the time of day. Just RUDE!

I hope you feel better soon and I am sure the Doctor understands. I hope you can make to to see him soon.
Dec '13 Fissure from anoscope
3 X internal sphincter botox
'08-'15 Botox for pelvic floor dysfunction
Nov '14 LIS/sentinel tag removal
Feb '15 Deroofing of recurrent infection from LIS
summer '15-healed but still ongoing muscle dysfunction/pain
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Re: Had a full on panic attack at the doctor's office :(

Postby Scientist2516 » 31 Mar 2015, 22:02

That sounds like a miserable experience. I know just what you mean about not being able to stop crying and people being kind making it worse. I always want to crawl into a hole when I cry, and not have to see anyone until all the redness and puffiness are gone.

The assistants should know better than to talk about patients, especially when the patient can hear. You've got nothing to be ashamed of. Getting help for anxiety sounds like a really good idea. Sometimes you just need some extra help through a bad patch. I hope you can find a good therapist.

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Re: Had a full on panic attack at the doctor's office :(

Postby msimon » 31 Mar 2015, 23:05

"I know just what you mean about not being able to stop crying and people being kind making it worse."

Just want to ditto that! I have a lovely pelvic floor therapist that can really set me off. Her kindness makes it very hard to get a grip!

"I always want to crawl into a hole when I cry, and not have to see anyone until all the redness and puffiness are gone."

Ditto that too! lol.
Dec '13 Fissure from anoscope
3 X internal sphincter botox
'08-'15 Botox for pelvic floor dysfunction
Nov '14 LIS/sentinel tag removal
Feb '15 Deroofing of recurrent infection from LIS
summer '15-healed but still ongoing muscle dysfunction/pain
msimon
Moderator
 
Posts: 1343
Topics: 64
Joined: 08 Aug 2014, 19:38
Has thanked: 76 times
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Re: Had a full on panic attack at the doctor's office :(

Postby Mae » 31 Mar 2015, 23:19

Thank you both. I love this forum because I can always come here for comfort. ♡

It was like someone else took over my brain and was controlling me. I couldn't shut off the raw emotion. If any of you have anxiety you'll know what I mean.
● Fissure first appeared Nov '14
● Cycle of healing and reappearing
● Using conservative methods (metamucil, managing anxiety)
Mae
Proctosphincteranalogist
 
Posts: 132
Topics: 38
Joined: 01 Dec 2014, 21:24
Has thanked: 6 times
Been thanked: 3 times
Gender: Female


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